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Okay. So for the first time I went to a con this weekend. It was fascinating to me and a little scary as well. There were so many people there. I was worried at first that I wasn't going to be able to handle the massive crowd but after a while I got ahold of myself and was able to stay calm the entire time. I got to see so many people that loved all the things i love just as much as i do. These people also gave me a great new perspective on my own confidence. I feel like these people were so brave to dress up, knowing that they could easily e judged and made fun of but they do it anyways and they look so... not scared. I think that i might no longer be afraid to be who i want to be. When i was around these people no one looked at me like i was a freak. No one judged me for being different. And now i know how amazing it really is to be different. I can't wait to go back again. Next time I'll join in on the fun :)

Have you ever been so bored that you stare at the ceiling for hours and not even realize it's been that long? How about wanting to cry but no tears come out? Is it because the time goes by due to the thoughts that just slowly seep through your mind. Or because the pain that you feel now is nothing compared to pain past? Or maybe you just don't care anymore. The thoughts that used to run through your mind as you laid there are no longer thoughts, and what you wish would make you cry doesn't because it no longer matters. These things mess with my head.

What are they? Little tiny trains that criss-cross in our heads. My little trains are constantly getting jumbled up in spiny tangles. They form web after web of grid in my head, never ending and never ceasing to change. Over and over my thoughts come and go, never staying long enough or going soon enough. Some of these thoughts are dangerous, deadly in their own way. Each new thought is a new seed, A new seed to a new life, to a new dream, to a new nightmare. Many of my thoughts are about my nightmares. Well, one nightmare. It's always the same, never ever changing. I don't know what that means. A nightmare that never changes. One day I shall share this nightmare with you and maybe you can tell me what it means. Or maybe it will not mean anything at all. It might just be there to confuse me more and to make my thoughts run even more wild. I may never know the truth.

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AmenthewickVerIV
21:37 Jan 08 2016

Woot Woot Im the tinman of anu station. Im like an ustoppable crazy train that unfolds a double pair of angel wings. Called enki......(wulf)

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Once a long time ago things seemed so easy. Mom knew everything. She was a superhero, but as i got older slowly the thoughts changed. Mom was the villain. Everything she knew was wrong. But now, looking back on it all, I realize that this was only because I wanted to be "free." But Freedom isn't everything. It has shorter leashes and bigger cages. It will throw more knives your way. Each and every time you strive for freedom you are just working your way back to big cages and more struggles. So go back to being little. Play your games, collect your cards. Go back to the "Mom knows everything" before it's to late. Before your so-called freedom captures you, chews you up and spits you out. Go back to the past, don't grow up. Live like Peter and stay forever young in Neverland. With a little "Faith, Trust, and Pixie Dust." You can fly through your childhood and be free, free to play and free to love without the cages of life. Go Back to Neverland. Play with your cards and Marbles. And always let Super Mom hold your tiny, imaginative hands and smile alway.

Have you ever felt so lost and alone that you begin to feel like you're the only one left alive in the world? It's the scariest feeling in the world. It tears you up inside and eats at your' sanity. If you even have any sanity. Some people don't. Sometimes I wonder if I have any. Or if I'm just insane like I feel I am.



Sometimes I just want to cry but I can't, I just sit there waiting for the tears that never come. Does that mean I can't feel pain the way I used to? No. I know I can because it still hurts. It just hurts so much I've run out of tears to shed. That just makes it feel worse...

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InvisibleShadows
01:00 Jan 09 2016

this has been me for most of my life....my motto:



ive always been crazy, but its kept me from going insane

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