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you don’t lose a woman like me in one night.
you lose me slowly.
every time you call my needs “too much.”
every time i bare myself—body, heart, soul—and you look away.
every time my hunger for connection is met with silence, or worse, indifference.
you lose me when you mistake my softness for weakness,
when you take my devotion as a guarantee,
when you stop reaching for me as if I’m already yours.
you lose me when you forget that I crave not just sex,
but to be seen, heard, devoured whole.
and still, i’ll stay.
i’ll keep giving, keep forgiving,
until one day my body still lies beneath you
but my spirit is already gone.
and by the time you notice the chill in my touch,
it’s too late.
i’ve already decided my fire deserves more.
because i don’t disappear all at once.
i unravel, piece by piece.
until the day i finally leave,
and you realise you were losing me
long before i was gone.
you don’t lose a woman like me in one night.
you lose me slowly.
with every sigh you dismiss,
with every truth you tell me i’m imagining,
with every plea for closeness that you reduce to drama.
you lose me when you stop looking at me as though i’m a mystery to unravel,
when you stop touching me like you remember I burn under your hands,
when you forget that my body opens because my heart feels safe.
you lose me when you make my emotions a burden instead of an invitation,
when my desire to be understood is turned into a flaw,
when my longing is met with laziness instead of hunger.
and still, i’ll stay.
i’ll give chances.
i’ll bare myself again and again,
hoping you’ll notice the cracks before i disappear through them.
i’ll press myself into your skin,
kiss you like a prayer,
offer you my softness like a gift,
until the day my touch no longer trembles with devotion
but with restraint.
because by then, i’ve already begun to leave.
my laugh grows quieter.
my eyes drift elsewhere.
my body still lies beside you,
but my soul has slipped into the shadows.
you never lose me in one dramatic explosion.
you lose me in the silences,
in the pauses,
in the way i stop asking to be loved
because i’ve learned you can’t.
you don’t lose a woman like me in one night.
you lose me slowly.
every time you ignore the way my body arches for you,
every time my moan softens into silence because i know you’re not listening,
every time i bare more of myself and you give me less in return.
you lose me when you stop touching me like i’m your hunger and your altar,
when my curves become routine instead of revelation,
when you take my wetness as a guarantee instead of a gift.
you lose me when my submission becomes convenience instead of worship,
when my fire becomes background noise instead of the storm you once chased,
when you forget that my desire is not just to be used,
but to be claimed, worshipped, undone.
and still, i’ll stay.
i’ll let you use me,
let you taste what you don’t deserve,
let you believe my devotion is endless.
i’ll open myself for you,
press my lips to your skin,
give you the best of my ache.
until the day the heat fades from my touch
and the way i writhe beneath you is no longer for you,
but for the memory of what it felt like to be truly taken.
because by then, i’ve already begun to leave.
my orgasms turn hollow.
my eyes wander while yours are closed.
my body still lies beneath you,
but my soul has already slipped into the dark,
searching for hands that will grip me harder,
a mouth that will taste me deeper,
a heart that will not mistake my surrender for weakness.
i no longer beg.
because i’ve learned begging is beneath me.
and when i finally walk away,
don’t call it sudden.
i was already leaving you,
breath by breath,
moan by moan,
while you thought i’d never go.
you don’t lose a woman like me in one night.
you lose me slowly.
you lose me in the quiet undoing.
each time my body begged and you gave me scraps.
each time i spread myself wide open and you barely looked.
you lose me when you stop fucking me like you’re starving.
when my throat opens and you don’t take what’s offered.
when my wrists ache to be held down and you leave me untouched.
when my need is reduced to duty,
when my surrender feels wasted on a man who doesn’t know how to claim it.
you lose me when you mistake my devotion for permanence,
my patience for weakness,
my body for something that will always wait for you.
and still, i stay.
i let you use me again.
i let you come inside a body that was already halfway gone.
i let you believe the arch of my back was for you,
when really it was me chasing the ghost of what we once were.
i kissed you like ritual,
bit back tears like they were cum on my tongue,
offered you every ache, every bruise, every shiver.
until the day my thighs clenched not to pull you deeper,
but to hold back what i no longer felt.
by then, i was already leaving.
my wetness dried the second you touched me.
my eyes stayed open,
searching for a man who could take what you never did.
a man who knows that when i give myself,
it is an altar,
and he should fucking worship.
you never lose me all at once.
you lose me slowly.
in the mornings where my silence screams louder than any moan.
where I no longer reach for you.
in the way i stop begging, stop bending, stop burning.
and when i finally walk out,
don’t call it sudden.
i was leaving you long before,
until nothing in me wanted you anymore.
because losing me is never sudden,
but it is always final.