PhoenicianDream's Journal
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3 entries this month
PD would NOT...
18:22 Jul 16 2010
Times Read: 792
...become a cannibal.
You humans are filthy, nasty fucking creatures. With all of your sickness, and diseases, drugs, random sex, and bad food. Some people will put anything in their mouths, and a lot of people will put anything in their other end. It'd probably kill me within a month if I started eating people. Yuck!
Hell, let's face it. We should be happy that I even perform fellatio without the use of some full body prophylactic or splatter guard.
heh03:42 Jul 03 2010
Times Read: 823
Plotting...
Planning dastardly deeds, as my best friend would say.
The wheels are turning.
PD would give you bad advice...
19:02 Jul 01 2010
Times Read: 834
Well, maybe not bad advice, but definitely not-so-legal advice. *shrugs*
So one of my bizzles that I used to work with, who I ♥! Came back in to town for a visit recently. She's got this beau that she loves, and she was bitching that they never have sex cause he never wants it.
What I told her? (Yes I actually told her this.) "Give him a roofie viagra mixer, you could ride that fucker for four hours and he'll never remember it!"
One of the girls I work with is cute and has some of those innocently blonde moments. She tends to make bad choices when it comes to men. She went on a date with a guy, who just after dinner not only implied that she was stupid.. he flat out fucking called her stupid. To her face. Then this douchebag has the nerve to actually ask her out again! WTF?
What was my advice? "Go out to dinner with him again, order the most expensive cut of meat, but dont eat any of it. (Not a problem for her, she's one of those veggie peeps.) Then lure him to a hotel with the promise of a threesome with one of your really hot friends. When you get him there, strip him naked, tie him up, turn the AC all the way down, and leave him there for the housekeeper to find in the morning. Full turtle."
Haha then I had the afterthought, "uh btw, that's probably not legal."
Oops. You might not want to take advice from me. :p
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COMMENTS
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Vampirewitch39
20:18 Jul 16 2010
LOL :)
Requiem
00:14 Jul 17 2010
You know ... I wouldn't have a problem eating people. But ... They'd probably have to live macrobiotically or at least be a vegan (a true vegan!) or that shit wouldn't happen.