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I've lived in Southern Alabama my entire life and now, we're moving to New York. I can only imagine the changes coming. There's just no work down here. Everywhere you go no one is working in the field they specialize in.

My ex husband and I are trying to hard to make our family work, but it seems there are walls in every direction. Sometimes I think on one hand it's fates way of trying to make us part, but on the other hand I believe it's fates way of making us stronger together. We were married for almost 15 years, divorced for a year and now we're trying it again. Does that make me stupid? Well, alot of people think so but I don't. I think it makes me want to try and never give up on anything.

He is a contractor and as many know houses are just not being built right now. I am a paralegal and pretty much get a job anywhere, but here. I worked for a Judge in our County for so long, but once she found out he and I were getting back together, the politics got so bad, she let me go, now I'm stuck.

I hate being stuck, I hate feeling like I HAVE to depend on others because every single time I do, every single time I put my expectations into people I'm let down. I don't know why in the hell I continue to do that, but I do. It's that whole don't give up syndrome I guess.



Anyway, so now we're moving. I have a week to pack and get the kids unenrolled from school, so forth and so on. Everyone keep your fingers crossed. He's from there so he doesn't have too much to overcome. Me on the other hand, well hell I don't even talk right, so I guess we're off to see the Wizard!

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SeleneTremere
20:45 Jan 27 2009

You seem to have a pretty good outlook on things. With courage, heart and brains...you'll manage just fine.



I hate depending on others too. Good luck to you.

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twoforme
21:05 Jan 27 2009

Good luck on your move to NY. It does take some time to get used to a bigger city but with some help and some looking around you can do it.



I don't know why your last employer let you go because of getting back together with your ex but I wouldn't let that stop you if you know you were meant to be together.

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It's been a year next month since things started going south. They say valentine's day is so wonderful, well I have another word for it, shitty!

I've been trying for almost a year to get shit straight and for some reason or another it just doesn't happen. You ever just get tired of sitting around wondering what good thing might happen next? I know I'm certainly tired of it, but what can you do. Maybe that's why I decided to start writing down how I feel, just to get it out, who knows.

I try so hard just to be a good person and a good mom but it seems like I fail in both. My 17 y/o is married and pregnant, my 15 y/o is more interested in his grandmother than his mother, my 14 y/o, well she's just her. She's the only one I can really depend on to tell me how she really feels and what she really thinks (I'm glad I have one that will) and my 13 y/o wants so badly to please me he has to go to a psychiatrist just to talk normal. What the hell is wrong with me? Do I just give up now and turn in the cards? I mean honestly that's how I feel today.

COMMENTS

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saint
20:27 Jan 26 2009

just wait, feelings will pass. at this stage there is no surrender.

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