RaynesAsylum's Vampire Journal

RaynesAsylum's Journal

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All I can do is laugh
05:04 Dec 31 2017
Times Read: 391

I am free. Divorce is not yet final but in all other forms I am free. I have never been so happy. I have my kids and I have been approved for having Leah over more often!!!! (Leah is the girl I am trying to adopt).

Soon to be EX, keeps saying I am tripping. All because I am honest and blunt. Why fucking hide your girlfriend? She is a little girl - just 5 years older than his eldest daughter - kinda gross if you ask me but to each their own. She is 26 and his dumb as is 41. His best friend got on his ass saying "your girlfriend looks a linebacker Sasquatch" and then said "Your are retarded, Kris isn't perfect but she gave you everything and you are leaving her for that and to be homeless? Why are you going backwards?"
The soon to be EX got all butt hurt and his eyes filled with tears.

So EX refuses to help pay for things that pertains to our kids. Cool. Fucking dick. But then he calls me and asks what I am doing for new years.
"IDK. Why? Do you want to spend it with your girlfriend?"
He was like "if it is ok. I want to stay the night with her."
i laughed my ass off
I said "So you havent paid bills or did shit for our kids cause you want to get a hotel for your and your mistress?"
I laughed some more..."I do not give a fuck what you do. I am happy without you. Just take care of your kids."
He was like " You aint happy"
I told him "All I need is my kids. Relationships and sex can come and go - MY KIDS ARE THE MOST IMPORTNAT THING IN MY LIFE. I am happy because I have everything I could ever want. A bad ass job. A house. Leah. Caleb. and Ashlee Rayne. I don't need a man or a dick in my life to be happy"
Two minutes later he sent me money to contribute to bills and taking care of the kids.
He said that if I would have bitched him out about wanting to spend time with his girlfriend that he would not have given me any money for our kids.
He is a fucking dumb ass.

SMH just another douche - he will have many regrets - his actions will cost him his kids.

not my fault

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Words that can break anyone down...
15:27 Dec 12 2017
Times Read: 411

with tears streaming down her beautiful face...."Mommy, I am sad and I am mad. I hate daddy. Daddy broke my home and broke my heart. He is gone at night and the night scares me. I don't want to have a heart attack."

The after shocks of his choices....fuck me I never thought it would be this bad. I don't know how to fix this. All I can do is hold her and tell her that mommy is here always. My heart breaks more and more everyday....

please ... just give me the strength to keep a smile on my face and the strength to help my kids through this....give me the strength to make all the right choices....give me the strength to be all that my kids need....

COMMENTS

dale0302
17:45 Dec 12 2017

The hardest part is always seeing how it affects the children :-(

Hardest day yet easier done than said
05:32 Dec 05 2017
Times Read: 436

Yesterday was horrible yet a blessing all in one. It started out with attacks on my abilities as a parent, as a wife, as a friend, and then as a career woman and student - ultimately he just started calling me all kinds of names and complaining about me cooking Puerto Rican food. Well, first off dumb fuck - my son is Puerto Rican, so I will cook whatever food he wants especially Puerto Rican food. Second, can't say shit about my parenting when I work full time, go to school full time, and still come home and clean and cook. But then you say how I work too much and I am not here for my kids. Got you. Fuck you. You chose to be the stay at home parent and you sucked at that, can't blame me for shit. You rather chill with the roommate than spend time with our children (our son's words not mine!). I remained calm as I knew he was just trying to provoke me and start a fight. But when he wasn't getting a fight that is when his demeanor began to change. The air became tense. I could not breath and had two panic attacks. The look on his face was the same when he had his psychotic break back in April.
Cool, you need space - got you! I took the kids and we left. I had planned on spending the day with them anyhow (birthday time). When the kids and I returned home - his shit was packed and gone and so was the belongings of the roommate (female). Mind you husband and I have been separated for a long time. We can see who we want. Only rule we had was not to bring it to our children's home. Come to find out my suspicions over the last few months were right, he had been fucking the roommate in my home when my kids were home. I am not mad at you for moving on - you can fuck someone else yay!. Congratulations. But where you fucked up is fucking her in our children's home and disrespecting our kids. And to further add insult to our children you move out without a goodbye - no note - no explanation to our children. And she fucked up because she was supposed to be my friend. Sorry but where I come from REAL FRIENDS do not fuck with their friend's man or any of the exes without a discussion.
So now, here you are with you new piece of ass and living out of a tent in the woods of a nature park. You abandoned your kids to be homeless....where is the logic in that? We had agreed you would remain home until you could save up and get your own place. Our agreement was for you to have a stable environment and be on ALL medications in order to see our children. So don't be mad when I tell you that they cannot go anywhere with you. Firstly, back when you had your psychotic break in April - you stole our daughter's ss card and birth certificate and threatened to run with her. So yeah, you are not going to pick them up from school when you have no place to take them. Besides, our children do not need to see you homeless anyhow. You are more than welcome to come over any time to visit our kids.
He came over tonight, spent one hour with our youngest and barely spoke to my son (gave him 2 hugs and said "i love you son"). He denies everything and tells our youngest that its my fault he left and that I am keeping him from picking her up from school. I quickly told him to be honest with her and stop with the BS. He says he will be over tomorrow as well. Tomorrow is my birthday, not sure how much fun he will have with the kids wanting to be with me for my birthday. But, I can put aside my disgust of him for the sake of our children. Remember - we agreed from the gate that we would always do our best to remain good friends not just for our children, but for ourselves.
Yes I am still angry with him for how he handled the whole situation. If he wanted to leave so badly, he didn't have to make an ass of himself trying to start a fight with me. He has been free to go for a year now.
The air of the house feels so much better - not as thick and more positive. Even our pets are more relaxed. I am slowly making the house a home with touches of me and my kids. I know things will be fine. I kind of feel sorry for the hubby. He stands to lose so much over this so called woman. But I will say this, I meant it when I told him that I would always be his friend. The only thing I want is his happiness and for him to have good mental and physical health. Why can't he see that? Why must he always try to make it a blame game? We are simply not in love any more. No one did anything. We out grew one another. Simple. So what's with all the dramatics?

I changed the locks of the house. He questioned that. Simple - I am protecting my children.

Enjoy your homeless life with you new piece of ass. I pray that you open your eyes and get on your feet soon. You should be focusing on getting into an apartment. SMH She is no good for you if she convinces you to leave your kids and to be homeless. No pussy is worth all that. Just sayin.

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