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Sometimes, love is not enough. Sometimes, Love makes you blind to what is right. Sometimes, what is right isn't love. Sometimes, it isn't love but it feels so right. It can all get so confusing. It can hurt. But you still run back to it. I don't think it ever truly fades...perhaps just misplaced? Sometimes, love can bring out the worst in you. Sometimes, love brings out the best in you. Sometimes, love is not fair. Sometimes, Love is all consuming. Sometimes, love is just a lie we tell ourselves because we fear something else. Sometimes, we fear love and push it away. Trying to analyze love...? *deep sigh* will take a life time... so I suggest analyzing yourself, become aware of yourself...your fears, doubts, your rights and your wrongs...and be at peace with it all...

so much easier said...

This makes no sense to me.
A man used to pay $3000 a month in child support for 2 kids. Cool, you get bonus points for providing for your kids without a court order. But then you stop paying for those 2 after you lose your awesome 6 figure salary position. Again, understandable, I have no issues with this. Years later, your youngest child is born and you marry the mother. Almost 10 years after that there is a divorce and a court order that you must pay child support in the amount of $370 a month. That is nothing compared to what other Fathers pay. You never contested the court order. You never voiced having issues with maintaining work. You did nothing. So the court order stands. The bill starts building cause you refuse to pay. I never complained because I am an independent mother that provides for her child. I would only ask for help when needed. Sure you would help, but you never paid child support. When you give cash to someone - in most states - it is considered to be a gift. And in Texas, that gift does not count towards the balance of past due (or currently owed) child support. I have told you time and time again, pay through the state so it would count. But you do not listen. What do I know anyways? So here we are, going on 8 years of child support debt (about $20,000). You call me up crying and screaming because the state put a lien on your bank account?! I have nothing to do with it. I am surprised it did not happen sooner. So now you are out $1500...cry me a fucking river. You still owe plenty more. But still you think I am stupid and tell me that you will make payments directly to me IF I close the child support order. No deal. He is your son. What does it matter if you pay through the state or directly to me? I never asked for child support - it is the consequence of us getting divorced. So I have a few questions. Why would you not want to support your youngest son? He is medically needy at that! I really do not need your help, but that is not my point. What is the difference between your kids? Why are some worth supporting and an other not? Then you claim to have made a deal with the state. The deal being that you will pay $400 a month until the past due is paid off but you will not have any current/future payments? Do you think I am stupid? There is no way the state would agree to that. I honestly cannot tell if you are delusional or just plain stupid! And then you want to "punish" our son by not calling him or sending him birthday and Christmas gifts all because he forgot your birthday 3 years ago?!!! What the fuck is wrong with you?! I rather you just disappear, leave us alone. I get more stressed when you call bitching about child support. I told you - sign over your rights!!!! Then you won't have to pay shit. Its not like you have ever visited him over the last 8 years. Do you even check in on his social media to see how much he has grown? NO!! SO stop crying and bitching and just man up!

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Minde
15:43 Oct 03 2017

I love reading your journal. Thank you for sharing

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