*sigh*04:21 May 10 2007
Times Read: 584
i have just gotten out of a really bad relationship. it was not based on the normal principals of love, trust, loyalty and so on. she wouldnt give me that much respect. instead, it was founded on lies, secrets, and false feelings.
see, i have a big heart (ever growing smaller) and i care about almost everyone i come across. it takes a while for me to trust, but once i do, i usually never stop. thats one of my faults.
she was extremely controlling, wouldnt let me talk to other girls, deleted my email, myspace, even my cell phone's contacts. at one point, she didnt even want me talking to guys! but i was nieve and believed i was in love (will do anything for love) so i was ok with it for a while. and i trusted her. she used me, played me, cheated on me, and never stopped lying.
it got so bad in january that i began to consider taking my own life. i have never been one to hurt myself, but i have 15 scars up my arm to mark the "peak" of our relationship.
though i knew i was being played worse than an old violin (i play violin) i still stayed with her. it took her TELLING me to give her a baby to finally wake up. ive been looking forward to my first child for years. lame, i know, but i dont care. in love or not, my childs life and future will always come first.
so she said "give me a baby, or we are over for good." i said goodbye.
shes been begging me to take her back for a full week, today. and rumors have been spreading around the school saying that i abused her, and threw her around. i must admit, toward the end, she began playing with the fire inside, and i lost my temper a fer times, but i NEVER hit her. so, a plan is spreading around the school to jump me, for what i did to her.
so i ask you, how should i feel, and what would you do?
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