The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Why does it still hurt so much? He walked all over me? He never came to visit me. I know he had a busy schedule, but for fuck's sake i made time to drive two hours to see him, even when i could have been working on a painting or story. He could have if he wanted to. I should have known better when he said i was the most beautiful woman he would never have. I was only the most beautiful he'd never have because he never wanted me. He couldn't even make time to come to my gallery opening even though i went to every fucking show he played for 5 months and listened to every song he wrote- no matter how much some of them hurt my ears. and just thinking about the sex aspect of that relationship(if you can even call it that) makes me feel like a whore. There has to be something seriously fucked up about me if i can't even find someone who's interested in me for more than sex, or who sees me as more than one of the guys or a little sister or best friend. This shouldn't hurt so much but it does.It seems I've had my heart ripped out by every guy i've ever been interested in. I'm sick of having to stich my heart my back togerther. and can't get rid of the feeling that i'm just a useless whore. I really want to go yell and kick his ass- not that i'd have much sucsess, but i'd give it an impressive attempt. maybe i should just castrate him with a spork, that sounds amusing.