The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Sex Workout
11:01 Jun 21 2011
Times Read: 637




Having sex is yet another great past time for burning up those unwanted fat producing calories...

REMOVING CLOTHES

With partner's consent...

12 calories

Without partner's consent...

187 calories

UNHOOKING BRA

Using two calm hands...

7 calories

Using one trembling hand...

36 calories

GETTING INTO BED

Lifting partner...

1.5 calories

Dragging partner along floor...

16 calories

Using skateboard...

3 calories

ACHIEVING ERECTIONS

For normal healthy man...

2.5 calories

Losing erection...

14 calories

Searching for it...

115 calories

PUTTING ON CONDOM

With erection...

1.5 calories

Without erection...

300 calories

INSERTING DIAPHRAGM

If the woman who does it is:

Experienced...

6 calories

Inexperienced...

73 calories

If a man does it...

650 calories

Add five calories for retrieving it from across the room.

POSSIBLE INTERCOURSE SIDE EFFECTS

Bouncing...

7 calories

Sliding around...

9 calories

Serious skidding...

12 calories

Whiplash...

27 calories

ORGASM

Real...

27 calories

Faked...

160 calories

ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE

Shoes flew off...

35 calories

Expression didn't change...

0.5 calories

Orchestra swelled...

6 calories

Birds sang:

Large birds...

7 calories

Small birds...

3 calories

Earth moved...

30 calories

PULLING OUT

After orgasm...

0.5 calories

A few moments before orgasm...

500 calories

PENIS ENVY

For woman...

3 calories

For men...

72 calories

GUILT

Banging your boss for a promotion...

30 calories

Sex during a 'sickie'...

10 calories

Bonking each other with parents in other room...

7 calories

Putting it on your expense account...

9 calories

AGGRAVATION

Partner keeps showing plant...

5 calories

Partner insists on dog cuddling during foreplay...

14 calories

Partner just visited bathroom for 7th time...

10 calories

Partner is taking phone calls...

7 calories

Partner is making phone calls...

40 calories

GETTING CAUGHT

By partner's spouse...

60 calories

By your spouse...

100 calories

Trying to explain...

55 calories

Trying to remain calm...

100 calories

Leaping out of bed...

75 calories

Getting dressed in one motion...

500 calories

~~ to funny~~~
10:58 Jun 21 2011
Times Read: 638

Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your

breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me

take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged

men
01:38 Jun 06 2011
Times Read: 662

mushroom
01:37 Jun 06 2011
Times Read: 663

To funny.
01:35 Jun 06 2011
Times Read: 664