The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

He stared out the window, excitement pulsing through his veins. His thrill ment, however, was laced with fear and etched with sorrow. What if she had moved on? He knew she was not the type to stay the same or especially stay single. Her faced revolved in his head, swarming in his thoughts. Quickly he regretted his rash decision to try and win her back. Logic flowed relentlessly in his mind, reversing any thoughts about her. He couldn't go through with this. She'd reject him. What he called her. The vile words that escaped his lips. There wasn't a chance she'd still like him anymore.

He threw his hands over his eyes, recalling him immature words. He got so angry at he. He hated himself for yelling at her. He remembered her sweet angelic face, that he had fallen in love with many years previous, tearing up. He pushed her so hard that she just simply broke down, crying hysterically. It was his fault that she cried. His words. His actions. Him. No one else.

Feeling depressed and no longer joyful, he fell back into his seat. He knew he was the reason she attempted suicide. He hurt her so bad that it drove her to try such a sin. He had never realized, nor did he care, how much he had hurt her.

He was disgusted with himself. He had truly not cared if she had died. The woman that he dreamed about all his life, he could honestly say that he didn't care if she killed herself over him. Photographs of her falling to the floor, clutching her head with her hands, flashed before him. He felt the familiar sting in his heart that for the past few years he had drowned in vodka.

"I fucked up." He mumbled to himself. "I fucked up big time."

He was ashamed of sleeping with the first girl that had her same platinum blond hair. He had dated the girl for awhile, never revealing the truth. The girl assumed he was her one and only; her soul mate if you will. He had played along, desperately needing company. The relationship lasted all of two months before he had become so revolted in himself he simply packed up and left. The girl, of course, begged and pleaded, but he had had enough. He only had one heart, and that heart had been stolen and was never retrieved.

Taking a sigh he pulled himself together, reassuring himself that everything was going to work out.

"We'll be arriving shortly, so please remain seated and fasten your seat belts. Thank you for flying with us today. And have great day." Came a voice over the intercom.

He felt butterflies swarm throughout his stomach at his nervousness. She'd be in class now, so he might have to wait awhile. He knew she hated being interrupted in class. He figured he'd visit some of his old friends and hang out until she would be at her dorm. It was only 11 o'clock and her classes would more than likely let out around four. He wanted to rekindle their lost love so much, but he knew he'd have to wait five hours.

Silently groaning he clicked his safety restraint in and stared down at the city that held so many memories.





She tapped her black ball point pen against her clear plastic binder. Staring at her ancient professor, she allowed the information to slip through one ear and out the other. She wasn't interested in history. She wasn't interested in the guy sitting across from her who was shamelessly flirting with her. She wasn't interested in watching her roommate scramble to write everything the teacher said. She wasn't interested in school. She was, put simply, just not interested. With everything boiling in her head she debated her life. True, she had tried to kill herself last summer and she had no point in life. Her meaningless life wasn't worth living. The dying need to be with him surged throughout her body, piercing her heart and soul. She realized then, as she gazed at the green board, that she was going to die without him.

(this is poorly written, forgive the rushness)



The girl blinked, her eyes glazed over. Yawning she stared around the room, studying her surroundings. The crumbled pages of the notebook she had been working in left an imprint of her pale complexion. Her clocked beeped waking her in her nap. Her blond hair crimped from her unplanned sleep. Her glistening orbs shot towards the clock praying she wasn't late. 6:30am. She let out a sigh of relief before stretching her legs by standing up. She reached her stiff arms to the ceiling, pulling her numb muscles into play. Her frozen legs begged for blood so she walked over to her alarm clock and shut it off. The flow of blood slide down to her toes, giving her a chill. She ran her cold hands over her oval face trying to wake herself up.

She mentally cursed her History teacher for making them write such a useless report. She never quite understood teachers. They'd request work from students then, once seeing it's done, throw all their hard work into the dust bin. She recalled her 10th grade Chemistry teacher throwing away her 50 page hand written report on her favorite chemist right in front of her. She managed to let a tear fall when she did. After that, she had no respect for teachers what so ever, especially Chemistry. She hated that class anyway.

Staggering towards her stereo, which was organized on top of her book shelf, she pushed the button reading 'Cd' and pressed the '1' that was placed next to the Cd button. The silence filled the dorm like an eerie fog. The soft whispers of Enya filled her room. Quickly the girl pressed '2', not wanting to fall asleep again. She waited momentarily for the CD player to switch Cd's before leaning her ear next to the black square speaker. The low volume rang out as playing System Of A Down. Smiling and obviously content she wondered to her fake wooden dresser.

Glaring evilly at her laptop she opened her first drawer pulling out a pair of under garments. Then, shutting the drawer, she pulled open the second. Searching through random pieces of clothing she found a beat up pair of faded blue jeans. With a smirk she nodded at her old pal. The jeans were certainly her favorite. The hole over the knee cap and random drawings proved that. Throwing them carelessly onto her bed she shut the drawer and opened the final one. Frowning slightly she pondered on what shirt to wear. Having already worn Rolling Stones, Staind, Three Days Grace, and My Chemical Romance tee shirts during the week, the choice was either System Of A Down, which seemed appropriate since that was the music playing, or an ordinary pink polo. Rolling her eyes she grabbed her System Of A Down shirt and without even closing the drawer she pranced out of the room and headed for the bathroom.

Turning the faucet on, letting the mixture of hot and cold water run over her smooth hand she nodded to herself. Flicking the switch so the shower head rained down, she tossed the cloths in hand on the toilet seat. Letting the warm vapors fill her lungs she pulled off her shirt then her shorts leaving her naked. She stepped slowly into the shower allowing her body to get used to the water.

Once drenched from the bleeding shower head she found herself thinking. Usually once during showers or baths she feels great and ready for the day, however now she couldn't help but think of him.

Mental photographs shot in her head like bullets from a gun. She couldn't get his face out her head. His strong noble face. His gorgeous green eyes that shown brilliantly at her. He was the love of her life and they had had everything planned out. Both of them were so in love that they couldn't stop calling each other Mr. and Mrs. Then she screwed up. A small lie about her past seemed to affect him more than she would have thought. He accused her of lying to him all the time. Saying she never loved him and that she was a player, dragging him along only to leave him at the last moment. The harsh words he yelled at her broke her to self-destruction. After he left her a year ago, she had tried to commit suicide several time, only to be found by her roommate before she could die. She blamed herself everyday for losing him. She hated herself every second for causing pain to him.

Feeling hot tears fall down her face she fell wordlessly onto the bottom of the shower. Covering her face with her hands she cried, wanting to drown herself in tears. The hot water sprayed onto her naked self cruel as if unaffected by her daily breakdown. Feeling abandoned and alone she sobbed. Her wet body shook with each heavy intake of oxygen she took. She needed him . . . more than words could ever say.





He grunted as the bright daylight shined unwantingly into his bedroom. Opening his previously shut eyes he frowned. His vision blurred and unable to see anything, he decided it best to just lay down till his eyes adjusted. Running both his hands over his face he remembered last night. The sex, the drugs, and the breakdown. He cursed himself for recalling the breakdown. That was something he would have been perfectly fine forgetting. Even still he was; in an odd way, grateful. He enjoyed reminiscing about the good times, not the bad. He wished so badly he could have her here with him. Laying next to him, curled in his arms, smiling up at him. God, he'd do anything.

He hated this. He hated that he was thinking about her. He hated that she still had a trance on him even after a year of silence. He had talked with her roommate once, a couple months back. She had tried to commit suicide and, thankfully, failed. Her roommate insisted it was because she had failed a mid-term completely, but he knew better. She never failed anything, expect their relationship.

Feeling a painful sting in his heart he lifted his eyes open, revealing his watery eyes. Instantly wiping the tears he sniffed refraining from thinking back any further. He stared at the ceiling realizing something. He needed her. He was not going to live like this anymore. Sleeping with women he's known for little more than 30 minutes was not the life he could lead. He had to get her back. Then, of course, a dark thought loomed overhead. What if she was happy? Happy without him?

His nerves kicked in and shot up to a standing position staring around the room. He looked down at his cloths groaned, then rushed towards his dresser. Before he could pull out a pair of khaki pants he realized he needed transportation. Frowning he dug into his pockets pulling out a cellphone with a smile. Dialing a quick number the phone began to ring.

"Operator, how may I help you?" Came an annoyed voice.

"Hi, I need the number for a plane." He asked quickly, shuffling around his belongings for a pen and paper.

Once receiving the number he instantly called waiting for someone to pick up. After someone finally answered the phone he arranged a flight. Thanking them profusely he hung up, raced to his closet pulled two suit cases out and shoved as much of his cloths as possible. As soon as he was able to shut his case he realized he needed to change the cloths he was wearing. Groaning again he opened his case once more and took the pair of khaki's he had been planning on getting and a white tee shirt. Hurriedly he changed into the fresh cloths and slammed the suitcase shut. He roughly grabbed the two and jogged to the door.

Opening the door he ran to his truck and threw the suit cases in the bed and raced back inside to grab his wallet, sun glasses and keys. As he was heading to the door his bathroom caught his eye. Slow ling his pace he walked in to the tiled hell. He lifted his right hand and opened the cabinet door. Inside were a mixture of things that he would rather forget about. Grabbing them all he shut the door and ran back outside.

Jumping into his faded green S10 he placed the shameful objects into the passenger seat. Luckily he knew a friend who might enjoy them more than him. Turning the ignition on and pulling his seat belt on he pushed the peddle down. Speeding onto the main road he made a sudden turn down a creepy looking neighborhood. The trees had grown beyond control and so had the grass. The dirt road caused him to slow his speed down a bit. The houses were in very bad condition, the paint cracking and the some windows broken. The neighborhood was obviously run down. Noticing the familiar white house he pulled into the drive way. Collecting the objects he ran out of his truck, banged on the door till a raven black haired beauty came out wearing only a tee shirt. Her tiny legs popped out of the tee shirt like a child wearing a fathers shirt. She gave him a smirk before raising an eyebrow. Before she could say a word, he shoved the things into her hands and retreated back to his truck.

Now, barreling down the highway he glanced at the clock. His flight was at noon and it was 10. With all the security checks he may not make it. Gunning the gas he flew past cars that insisted going the speed limit. After 15 minutes of driving he finally reached the airport. Finding a parking spot was easy so all he had to do was get his ticket and catch his plane. Carrying the suitcases he ran into the airport looking for the ticket counter. Once finding the counter and receiving his ticket he gave the lady his bags and headed for security.

He took his shoes off, everything from his pockets and walked through the metal detectors. Once confirming he was clean he rushed down the crowded terminal and towards his flight. Thankfully he located his planes waiting area. He presented the ticket to the man behind a booth, would looked as happy as Mr. Couch. With a sigh of relief he collapsed in a seat. His heart beat pulsing ten times faster he chuckled. Shaking his head with a raised eyebrow, no where near believing what he was doing. He couldn't grasp the fact he would see her soon. Only six hours till he lays eyes on her prefect face again. His excitement cheered him up and knowing he was six hours away from being with her made him thrilled.





She pulled herself together, standing up now. She wiped the tears away and turned the water to cold. She washed her hair then reached for a towel. Wiping her body down she shook her head at how stupid she was. She knew it was childish to believe in true love, but she had it. She swore she had it. He was her true love. Suddenly a loud knocking echoed around the room.

"Hey, come on, all right? I've gotta do my hair!" Yelled her roommate. Sniffing back her shed tears she changed into her cloths, glanced in the mirror and opened the door.

"Enjoy!" She replied back to her impatient friend. Waltzing back into her room she paused her music that she had accidentally left on.

She smiled weakly at her sad pathetic face as she studied her face in her compact. She sighed, applying the chalk like substance to her face covering any unwanted marks. She salvaged her blush, eye shadow, eye liner, and lip gloss from her purse. Dabbing a bit of rouge blush before she declared she looked acceptable so far. Carefully pulling her bottom eye lid down she ran her black eye liner across the soft skin giving a more direct appearance. Glancing at the compact again she brushed a little eye shadow on her eye leads perfecting her look.

A knock at the her door brought her back to life. Her roommate stood waiting for her.

"You coming? Class begins in twenty." Her friend said. She nodded throwing all her make up back into her purse. She collected her laptop, having already printed the final copy after she got out of the shower. She gathered her notebook and pens, tossing them into her book bag before slinging the pack on her back.

She smiled at her friend sweetly. She knew today would be a good day . . . no matter the melt down only 30 minutes previous.

I wrote this back in June and I'm just now writing this down in my journal, tells you how long it take me to type!!! Message me and tell me what you think! I love hearing criticism!







As he laid silently on the bed, stroking the young girl laying quietly in his arms, he couldn't help but feel guilt run through his hardened veins. The girl traced the black tattoo on his chest, sending a shiver down his spine. Her cold fingers felt like ice cubes as she continued to outline the word. Her velvety black hair fell on his shoulders as he cradled her in his arms. The frail body felt out of place as he studied her tanned complexion. Her sweet experienced brown eyes let him know she wasn't naive to the situation. Remorse trickled down his entire body like the sweat both of them had just produced. He let out a sigh and kissed the girl on the forehead. She turned her head upward and smiled.

"What's with the tattoo?" She asked softly as if afraid to find out. His body stiffed and he tore his attention away from her stunning face. His marble green eyes turned dark as he felt himself go rigid. Letting another sigh pass his lips he plastered a false smile and turned his attention back to the girl, hoping she had not noticed the sudden tension.

"My grandmother used to call me that when I was a kid. She died a couple years ago so I got it as some sort of remembrance." He stated, slowly. He wanted to kick himself for allowing his tongue to utter the same lie every time someone asked him. No one knew the real reason and he wasn't eager to tell anyone either. He wasn't ashamed of the tattoo, just a bit protective. He found it strange to confide in someone he knew would never understand, therefore he never did.

The girl nodded, realizing it must of been a touchy subject for him to get all tense about it. She laid her head back down on his chest staring at the letters that gave her a mixture of confusion as well as interest.





Nearly a hundred miles away a young girl had fallen asleep in a castle of books. The black digital clock glowed a red 3:30am. Unawakened by the loud roars of thunder, the girl tossed her head sending a book to the floor. The flash of lighting reflected off her face like glass as she continued her deep slumber. Her metallic blond hair fell carelessly onto the notebook she had been writing in. Her glistening hazel eyes shut tightly for the much needed rest. Her fair skin advertised her obvious dislike of the sun. The laptop seated at the far end of the desk read a twenty page report on some unknown American Hero. As another clap of thunder rang out, the girl stirred slightly.





He stood up to say goodbye to his guest, kissing her one more time before closing the door. He ran his right hand over his stubby brown hair, feeling waves of exhaustion and pain crash up against him. He shook his head with desperate need to release all his confusing emotions. He walked into his bathroom, opened the cabinet and pulled out a needle. He worked his way back into his bedroom collapsing back onto his bed. He pulled a belt out from under his bed, latched it to his arm and shoved the needle into a bright blue vein. Normally after in-taking heroine he'd reflect on the great sex he has just experienced but this time, as he unhooked the belt and tossed the needle into the red container, all he could think about was her.

Images flashed throughout his mind of when they first met. The smiles, the giggles everything about her made him fall madly in love with her every action. She was the woman he needed to spend the rest of his life with and he had known he would. This, of course, was before he found out she had been lying. The deceit she sold him ripped his heart apart and he's never been the same since. Now, almost a year after not speaking with her had broken him more so when he found out. He had realized long ago, a mere couple months after it happened, that he didn't care. She had never lied about who she was, just certain things about her. He understood he loved her. He comprehended the fact he had to have her in his life, or else he'd be up being held hostage in the pathetic life he was currently living.



Sadly, his pride was too strong to allow him such pleasures. He faced the fact that he would never again hold her in his arms. Love her the way he dreamed to. Whisper in her ear how much he wanted her. No matter how many times he told himself he would get over her . . . he never did.