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I was working on my social calibration today and stumbled across something very, very compelling. This should be interesting to pursue........

Hmmmmmm......This whole recent webcam business has piqued my interest. Thus, I will offer my two cents even though it may not actually be worth two cents.

The only thing that bothers me about it is the violation of ToS. They are there for a reason and should be enforced, as we have all committed ourselves to follow them by actively using the site.

As for the exhibitionism and attention seeking, I personally am not offended. In all honesty, I believe if someone chooses to get drunk and act a fool on cam, or if they choose to expose their naked flesh, that's their perogative. I'm sure that self-esteem and validation are factors when one chooses to do it frequently and consistently. I have been drunk AND sober and done some really crazy shit in my day, so the nature of the actions to me aren't necessarily reprehensible. I like the fact that we have the freedom here to get drunk and act stupid if we so desire. I also respect the fact that we must be accountable for our actions.

If we're going to start booting people for seeking attention and validation, then we might as well terminate half the memberships on VR. Considering all the pandering, ass-kissing and bullshit rate wars that are ever-present, I'd say that's a slippery slope. Some would argue that using vulgar language is more disrespectful than displaying the human body. It's a matter of opinion.

I live my life conservatively in some respects, but I respect everyone's right to behave they way they want, as long as they are willing to brave the consequences for such behavior.



My opinion is thus:

1) If you use VR to broadcast your cam, respect the ToS. if you want to go beyond the limits of the ToS, use another site and post the link so others can join you or see you.

2) We all seek validation, whether we want to admit it or not. Period. I may not agree with that method of obtaining it, so I choose to pursue it in ways that I feel are more productive and have more positive consequences. But it's not my business how you or anyone else seeks to gain approval or validation.

3) I believe that if people weren't interested, they wouldn't have been watching. I see countless broadcasts everyday, where there are only 1 or 2 viewers. I assume it's because people aren't interested. So, when I see a large amount of viewers I assume the opposite is true. You don't reward an attention-seeker with more attention if you want to discourage the behavior. It's counter-productive.

4) I don't know the individual involved well enough to have an accurate opinion of them. I have spoken to her in passing, and viewed her webcam one time, at which point I decided it wasn't enjoyable and haven't viewed it since, though apparently my opinion isn't the popular one based on the number of viewers lol

5) Different strokes for different folks.



This is how I feel. You may feel differently. Feel free to express yourself and debate these things with me. I am open to the conversation and can assure you I will not take it personally.

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Deity
19:13 Jan 28 2011

Forget falling, just politely tell me to get off cam if I ever start licking myself. :D

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MooniePie
19:21 Jan 28 2011

If she starts licking herself on cam, at least wait until she's done and THEN tell her to get off cam. Because that is something I wanna see. LOL

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xxKontradictionxx
20:53 Jan 28 2011

Amen and very well-said.

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atyourwindow
21:10 Jan 28 2011

ignore the first 2 people they are part of the problem not the solution, and i have to agree with your opinion in this matter, well said.

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PandorasBx
21:47 Jan 28 2011

They watch cuz they know they are going to get to see boobies and imitations of sex acts. :P Not too hard to figure out.

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MooniePie
21:55 Jan 28 2011

Fuck you, ayw. I am so sick of your passive aggressive bullshit. Put your balls in your hand, assuming that you have some, man up and say what you really mean instead of acting like a child.



I am sorry I had to do this in your journal, Seeker.

I'll seek absolution from my sins later on. ;)

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Seeker2112
23:01 Jan 28 2011

@Deity Never say never when Louboutins are involved hahahaha



@Pandora You know you like a good boobie and a show, just not on VR lol



Moonie - you know better than to walk up in my journal raisin hell like that! lol And no I will not spare the rod!

As for Moonie and AYW over here, I am all about some lively and stimulating conversation. In order for either one of your points to be valid, there must be specifics to make a judgement.

AYW - How exactly do those two contribute to the problem in your opinion, citing specific examples where possible?



Moonie - What exactly do you mean by "passive aggressive bullshit"? That is way too broad of a term lol



And this time, let's try to leave any mentioning of testicles and who may or may not have them, out of it and demonstrate some civility :)

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atyourwindow
03:49 Jan 29 2011

well i went into moonies webcam and wasnt there 2 seconds before she blew a gasket calling me names and ranting on and on like a baby, she asked me "how can you after saying that shit in seekers journal come in here and start with me?" i had not yet said a word before i finally tried to reply to her calling me something or other i cant remember exactly what and she blocked me like a coward...she whines and cries bitches and complains but when its time to either debate an issue or resolve a problem she is a chicken shit...part of the problem with vr not the solution, my statement still stands lol

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Bunnie
22:31 Jan 29 2011

-buzz-



WRONG.



You came into Deity's chat and sat and didn't say anything. You could have very well addressed the issue in there, rather than trolling and seeing what was being said. The fact that you came in there was instigation enough. It is pretty clear in the above statement that I am not impressed with you, the things you say, nor the way you handle other situations.



You clearly came in for conflict. If you assumed I wouldn't tell you how I felt with others around you are sadly mistaken. I blocked you because I didn't care what you had to say. Also, I was focusing my time on another chat. I wasn't going to let you ruin my good time and run your mouth while I wasn't paying attention. I don't WANT to debate with you and try to solve a problem. Quite honestly, I wish you'd evaporate into non existence. I've sat back and watched you be mean to those I care about, and I had enough after that attack.



Let's talk about whine cries and bitches shall we? When you were involved in the trading of favor from Madadh to Decay, who was the one that wouldn't leave Silverbow alone because you had gotten favor taken away from you and given to Madadh for the crappy thing you did?



And then didn't you get bent because you were disbanded for it? Well, I would imagine so since I don't see that Coven on the list.



And let's talk about chicken shit. Since you are the one that runs behind, first example this entry, and posting hateful comments about two people that were clearing joking. If I had not came back into Seeker's journal, I would have never seen the last comment. So that within itself is chicken shit.



Also how about how you always tell someone "That we are not really her friends. We will throw her under the bus the first chance we get." Hmm... do me that is chicken shit because you can clearly say it to someone, but never say it to me personally. Or her other friends for that matter.



Does that include everyone that she is friends with? Or just the ones you know that give her a little back bone to see the shit you pull?



And shall we talk about tammy and how you played her into thinking that you were someone that you weren't? And led her on? And had her thinking that you were going to be with her after your 'vamp box wedding'?



Now let's discuss your passive aggressiveness. Your above statement was clearly passive aggressive. I have seen you in webcam chat room act like a total passive aggressive jerk to Rachie. I have often switched the passive aggressiveness from her to myself because I know she is a sensitive person and sometimes cannot handle it with the amount of stress she has to endure. I have also seen you be a passive aggressive jerk to Deity and then get upset because I had to correct you, yet again, because you were saying that that were uncalled for and mean.



I've also heard the stories about you trying to get with people who were with someone else at the time.



Now if you had really wanted to take this into private you would have messaged me after I had muted you. I did not, nor do I have you blocked on any of my accounts. And you called me a chicken shit? lol



Now let me touch on the part about the problem with VR. People like you are the problem with VR and actually the society. You portray yourself to be something that you are not. You coerce people into believe that you are one way, when in fact you are nothing more than a controlling person who cannot find their own happiness. You enjoy tyring to play the victim for attention. And that is not just my opinion, but a few others as well. You prey on woman who are in a vulnerable point in their life. Then once you sink you claws into them, you figure you can ride it for what it's worth.



I am also remember at one point, when I had made a journal entry making a joke about dating, you left a comment with a *wink* trying to get my attention. Which didn't work because you didn't impress me then and you do not impress me now.



Now before you try and 'out me' with things. Let's see. I've talked about people and got called out for it. Uhm I got removed from being a Dominar because I called someone 'a cunt'. I was friends with someone who played with tons of men from VR and tried to bring me into it. Yeah, color me a problem.



I have flaws. I am no where near perfect, nor do I try to be. I will be the first to admit the things I have done wrong and change them for the betterment of myself. But after all the things I know about you, I am no where near the person you are. I would NEVER do the things you've done to people in a million years.



Since I am not sure if journal comments have a set amount of characters I can use, and I could go on and on, I rest my case.

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cuttcollector
01:53 Feb 01 2011

lol people have seen me poke smot on webcam. really all they see is my hand my bic and some smoke. but still lol

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I knew last night that the call would be what woke me up. She was ready last night when I saw her. No fight left and eager to move on. She passed at 6:20 am. I'm glad she didn't suffer. Now to make the calls, prepare for the service and deal with all the logistical stuff. Gonna be a long weekend.

COMMENTS

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MooniePie
15:56 Jan 21 2011

I am so, so sorry, hun. xoxox

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fallenangel51
16:19 Jan 21 2011

Im sorry to read this. My thoughts are with you.

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Bellanova333
16:58 Jan 21 2011

~hugs~ I am sorry to hear of your loss hon I am here for you.

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Deity
19:21 Jan 21 2011

♥



You most certainly will see her on the other side -- with arms wide open and a sense of home. There is definitely solace in that.



♥

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I try to not be judgemental, or if I am judgemental then I try to be fair about it and consider all sides and factors before forming my opnion.

Sometimes, shit goes down in a way that you don't even have to wait for the opinion to form. This is one of those times.

You disgust me. Literally, I'm fucking disgusted. Your word means absolutely nothing to me at this point, though we weren't really that close to be honest. It wouldnt bother me if you had the conviction to be a dirty motherfucker. I could respect that to some degree. It's more the fact that you're spineless and weak. The epitome of cowardice and non-identity. Unfortunately, I have to deal with you and a few others like you temporarily. Don't expect me to treat you like anything other than what you are. Fuck civility and proper etiquette. Those are reserved for 95% of the population who don't display the characteristics you do. What a fucking waste of space you are.

I literally want to take an S.O.S. pad to my brain and scrub away the memory of you.

Fuckin Douchebag

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PandorasBx
03:36 Jan 20 2011

Yikes *backs away slowly*...

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Zilaheteb
04:31 Jan 20 2011

I can't believe you just called me a douchebag ; )

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aceycakes
21:18 Feb 03 2011

i'd like to know who is on the other end of this rage, and i'm thankful it's not me lol

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I think I have viewed death from every possible angle. I have seen it end violently, and I've seen it end quietly. Suddenly, and painstakingly slowly. This time I see it, I'm aware of it, and all I want to do is make her time as peaceful and comfortable as possible. That's what I would want in her position, I suppose. Company. Someone to sit with me and talk with me and take my mind off of the inevitable. Then again, maybe I would want everyone to fuck off and let me die. I know she wants to go. She's tired of living, hanging on and dealing with the bullshit. I try to be receptive to what she wants. It's not about me, and I don't want it to be. She didn't say a word today, but she smiled and there was an alertness in her eyes from time to time. The dementia was minimal. She seemed at peace when I held her hand and she held my gaze when I spoke to her. I'm gonna miss her, but I have no doubt that when she dies it will be what she wants and what she has earned. I just hope she knows she's loved.

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MooniePie
18:50 Jan 18 2011

I am sure there is no doubt in her mind that she is loved.

♥ ♥ ♥ xoxoxox

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You say "Fuck my life". Considering where you are and the people that have been in your life, I'm thinkin maybe I should triple bag that shit. God knows I don't want what you've got. Plus, I'd feel really horrible if I passed that shit on to someone I care about. No, on second thought, I think I'll pass. Perhaps if you dressed it up and made it sparkle, but even then I suppose a pity fuck is out of the question. Damn. Sucks to be you. Try craigslist. Those dudes will fuck anything :)

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MooniePie
22:23 Jan 12 2011

If you pass me on the clap, I'm gunna be so pissed! :P

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Seeker2112
03:25 Jan 13 2011

When life gets stale, make penicilin hahaha :)

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daggerrose
00:06 Jan 17 2011

You can say that again. Remind me not to argue with you ;)

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I wrote a big, long, funny entry and made it sound all witty. I even had my own little play on the theme song at the beginning. Why, you may ask. Well, I haven't seen it in forever, and caught a glimpse of it today, and was just struck by the talent involved. So, I wrote that big, long, creative entry and at the last minute didn't feel like posting it. Anyways, the point is:

Will Smith is funny and Fresh Prince is a classic show.



Just Sayin



And I can't hear Tom Jones without seeing you. Thanks Carlton

The depth and breadth and height and width seem infitnite this evening. As if, at any moment, the actors involved would fail to express the intended sense of melodramatic ire they were paid to present. If all the world is indeed a stage, could we get someone who knows how to write the fuckin' script? Can the curtain close on cue and the next act begin, reminding us all that what we've just witnessed, and perhaps been a part of, is a distant memory? The tide, having shifted, now receding and giving breath to the suffocated madness within this aquatic existence.

As if, somehow, there should be a sort of relief, or at the very least, absence of dread which consumes the essence of who we are. It's palpable, as though pressing forward through the huddled mass of abandoned confusion and unrequited ambition. Except, there is no break in the throng. No space where one might look and discern an end to the madness, where hope and love and all that is right in this world can lay their claim and rule in peace.

That place, so pure and void of distraction, which beckons so unmmistakenly, yet so quietly, that its source of origin cannot be traced. Who are we, that we presume to have it all figured out? Who are we that we should offer ourselves to another with convincing words and echoed sentiments of shakespeareian proportions? Who are we to compare the sun while anticipating that most dreadful of offerings which precludes the finality of a theme most profound?

Come, let us be reasonable in this hour, and accept the fate which does seem to be at hand. To go quietly into the shadows of the dawn and emerge at midday with the sun shining brightly upon our pale skin. Let us fail to wake from the dreams we are beholden to. Let us eternally resign ourselves to the delusions of grandeur we continually yearn for. Aye, a marvelous world where all that we are and hope to be finally overlaps and aligns with our abilitly to comprehend and appreciate. Where life springs from the depths of man, whole and complete, without blemish. Where the whisper of the wind carries in itself a glimpse of who and what we are. Guided silently, but firmly, affecting all that it penetrates, surrounds and envelopes.

Yes, let us wash away the filth of the past, with the knowledge that appearance is everything, and the substance is nothing. For that is what we long for. A distraction, a release, a beginning we can work with and mold. Until, at last, the honor and truth encompass the creation, revealing, after all is said and done, the glory and praise we were destined to receive.

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Bellanova333
05:54 Jan 10 2011

these are such beautiful words my friend... that I truly have none of substance to give in reply... ;) your amazing.

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So, I don't normally include lyrics to other people's songs in my journal, but I have been struck by two different songs recently that just seem to sum me up in the relationship department: The first one is "Perfectly Lonely" by John Mayer, who in my opinion, is an incredibly talented and complex individual. The second, which is no secret to some lol, is "Better As A Memory" by Kenny Chesney.

While I am profoundly and constantly affected by music and lyrics (whether accompanied by a melody or not), I have been more aware recently that I am trying to "define" myself once again. I don't know if that's possible. I know who I am, but to express that would take far too long, and would probably just confuse others lol

I generally abhor placing labels on anyone, because they are never quite adequate and only capture a sliver of of that person's essence. Yet, I find myself wanting to find something, if only an inkling, that says I'm advancing towards my goals regarding this existence. Not thoe goals which are easily measured through actions, but those goals which combine to create the person I am in a more esoteric sense.

For now, the topic of interest, at least for me I guess, is my Nomadic and Bohemian lifestyle when it comes to relationships. I am reminded of the Seinfeld episode when Jerry is talking about gays, and keeps adding the disclaimer " Not that there's anything wrong with that", and I feel myself using that same disclaimer when talking about long-term relationships/commitments.



By the way, if I had a million dollars, I'd buy you a green dress. But not a real green dress, that's cruel ;)

COMMENTS

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Bellanova333
03:03 Jan 06 2011

Those are some damn good songs... I can relate... except in chick version haha...



I have the same issue with labels, yet am always searching for ways to define myself or portray myself to others... not entirely sure why, most would not understand even if I could find the proper way to convey myself... but I think every soul yearns to be understood to some form or degree, especially to itself...

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