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There is a reason why I left you. Well, multiple reasons. And yes, I hate the fact that when it came down to it, the decision wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be. Your actions provided nothing but fuel to an already out of control fire, and I had no other desire than to watch that motherfucker of a marriage burn to the ground!
Those kids, on the other hand, did not and do not deserve that shit. They aren't fuckin pawns in a chess game, and they certainly aren't expendable. Nothing will ever sever that bond between them and I. You, however, are a COMPLETELY different story.
Pathetic is the only word I know to describe you in your current state of being. You have the actual nerve to neglect your kids, your dignity, your honor and a display a host of other actions that add to the preponderance of evidence that suggest you have no worth, and expect me to be civil as if I'm somehow still in the midst of my daughter's biggest day. And yes, I mean MY daughter. You burned that fuckin bridge, too. Fuck your pass, fuck the niceties, and by all means, go fuck YOURSELF!
I came to put on a show and was quickly vanquished by 7 lbs. of flavor and spicy goodness. Adam Richman, I have a newfound respect for your boundless appetite. You, sir, are the man!
Ok. Is that good mexican food, or gringo mexican food? Because I'm having a hard time finding mexican food I like here in denver. I'm mexican food spoiled.
PD: This was totally gringo mexican food. I just had to order a big ass 7 lb breakfast burrito lol However, their green chile was fuckin' PHENOMENAL!
There are 3 Jack N Grills. One at 2630 W Belleview Ave, Littleton, CO, which is where I took this pic, one at 2524 Federal Blvd, Denver, CO and one at 9310 Sheridan Blvd, Westminster, CO.
As for decent Mexican food, I'm hard to impress and haven't really found a place that I will endorse. Benny's Restaurante on E. 7th in Denver has killer Carnitas and Huevos Rancheros. Other than that, I have no idea lol
If you're down to hit up a taco truck check out, Dos Hermanos at Colfax & Xanthia. The tacos al vapor are outrageous :)
Happy hunting, and if you know of any decent restaurants at all, please let me know. It's hard as hell to find good food lol
Such A Pretty Coffin
01:01 Mar 14 2011 Times Read: 664
What an interesting day..... If I were to put it into terms that would perhaps make it more relatable, given the site we are all a part of lol, I would tell you that I am trapped in my coffin, anxiously anticipating the moment at which the sun will retire for the evening, so that I might partake of all the night has to offer.
There is an expectancy that looms in the distance. it is felt, yet unseen. With that expectancy, there is the knowledge that its revelation and manifestation is directly impacted by my course of action. Will I dare to think of freedom? Will those thoughts of freedom lead me, in turn, to consider acting upon them? Will those actions drive me towards my desired destination, to the place where I belong and am able to function in complete harmony with who and what I am?
For the destination is what matters, not the current state of affairs. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. I have faith in the destination. The destination is never in question, as I am focused on the surety of its existence. My faith, however, has waivered, regarding the surety of my ability to persevere and walk in all that I am.
When undertaking this journey, I cannot help but wonder what will be required. Will I return to the sanctuary I have known prior to my departure, before the inescapable destruction carried in the passing of time delivers unto me the annihilation it perpetually carries in its hand?
Or will I perhaps find solace and shelter in the nick of time, in an unfamiliar place, which shall serve as a marker and testament to my travel down the highway of existence?
I find the questions which plague me to be insignificant to a certain degree. It doesn't really matter what the answers are. The absence or presence of said answers doesn't impact or negate the necessity of the journey itself.
I am thankful in this hour of introspection that I have the opportunity to recognize the necessity of the journey; that I have the experiences of my past to support and distribute the weight inherent in its nature;
In the words of Forrest Gump: That's all I have to say about that :)
Sleep came. Sleep went. With the dawn came the realization that I am alone, once again. I understand why, yet it doesn't erase the sting. It doesn't make it any easier to approach the day. It doesn't change the fact that by gazing upon the world I am constantly reminded of your absence in it.
Melodramatic? I suppose. I have an affinity for that, when it comes to certain things. Some call it a passionate spirit, but perhaps it's merely a lack of self-control. Perhaps the embracing of emotion is the catalyst for pain. Would the absence of the one negate the existence of the other? I have experienced a paralytic existence in every area of my life at one point or another: physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally. And with each of those experiences, there is a sort of comfort in the absence of all stimulation. However, if there is one thing I have learned, courtesy of your existence and presence in my life, however brief it may have been, it is this:
The harsh and oppressive winter snowstorm carries with it a remembrance and appreciation for the warmth and light of the summer sun;
The problem with knowledge is that once it has been obtained, it must be applied. So, I carry with me the knowledge that there was another, whose ephemeral existence in my life made it possible to see the world in living color, as opposed to black and white;
I would compare you to the little girl in the red coat from Schindler's List. A reminder of purity and innocence in a world filled with atrocity.
A face among a sea of faceless; Your brilliance undeniable, and your significance infinite.
You can never be forgotten or replaced. As I stated earlier: In this life once defined as a winter of discontent, I am truly thankful for you, the summer sun.
"Some things in this world,
Man, they don't make sense
Some things you don't need
Until they leave you,
They're the things that you miss"
-Rob Thomas "Bright Lights"
Alas, I shall bring this entry to a close with a heavy heart and a drunken spirit. Partaking of that mixture of emotion and rational thought that combine to alter your perception and remove your inhibitions. The heavy hand of "That Which Might Have Been" desending from the sky and lifting you far above the ground in a way that only an experience of a certain magnitude can provide. Then, releasing you in that high and lofty place, you feel the wind rushing and your heart racing as you plummet back to reality. The shattering impact reminding you that you are, indeed, alive.
But I digress.....The point of this entry was not to convey a depressing tone, or evoke the pity of those who travel these halls, as is so often the case here. Rather, it was but a small attempt to express my appreciation for the impact one life has had upon the other. There is beauty in the sadness; substance in the void.
And as you frequently said, "Tomorrow is another day".......this one has certainly been interesting :)
I love how you can be so open. And believe it or not you are not alone in the things you go through. Most just don't have the guts to put it out there.
COMMENTS
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Deity
01:48 Mar 23 2011
Burnnnnnnnnnn! :p
Bones
01:54 Mar 23 2011
Kids? I have kids? Err, we have kids?
:P
Seeker2112
02:04 Mar 23 2011
No, Bonesy. That's my other Baby Momma lol
Zilaheteb
03:33 Mar 23 2011
I though I was your baby momma!!