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7 entries this month
22:26 Sep 21 2010
Times Read: 623
Advancing....retreating.......tender footsteps as though the ice might break and you would drown in an icy oblivion. What is the aim? The purpose? Is it all illusory or does the mirage and facade gain permanence the longer it exists? I know your fears, desires and intentions. I walk with the soul of multiple lifetimes and I've seen you before. Your addiction before your pride as you feed upon the emotional flesh of those you would have beside you. Sometimes, the predator becomes the prey. Sometimes your meal is only a prelude to your death. Will you take the risk in order to secure your own selfish pleasures? Will you fill yourself and make yourself fitting for the one who waits in the shadows? Obsession cascading around you as you inadvertently expose yourself. Emotionally naked in the light of your transgressions. Twisting and turning in your bed of betrayal. Tell me, what is the line this time? Set my mark and hand me the script as you direct the destruction of what we have. Oh, how the light dances upon your frailty and confusion. The mockery circling and calling your name. A stranger who dwells in the flesh of my friend. Perhaps you will find your way home. Broken and bruised I will hold you and honorably extinguish all that you are.
23:43 Sep 19 2010
Times Read: 655
I was plagued with a sense that all was not right upon awakening this morning. Went to a special place to gain some clarity and perspective. I felt better, though something was still not right. Then I consulted the tarot. Voila, there it was right here in the cards, plain as day. Kind of took me by surprise as the whole picture came together. Game on, I guess. Normally I seek to attain a certain level of elegance when writing in my journal, as I know others read it from time to time but honestly, right now I just don't give a fuck what my journal looks like. Read it, don't read it, whatever. There are bigger fish to fry right now. So, off I go upon my merry-making way. Til next time.......
01:39 Sep 16 2010
Times Read: 676
Sooooo.....I am so stoked today. My mind has been going 90 to nothin all day. I had an amazing opportunity to learn from an incredibly wise man today, and I can't wait to apply my newfound understanding regarding some things I have been practicing. I have also been contemplating the use of my time and how to contribute more effectively to the lives of those I come in contact with. Lately, I have had an abundace of people seeking help with various issues and I have found myself extremely capable when it comes to helping them find a resolution to those issues. My perceptions are changing along this journey and the truths and principles I have been acquiring have been easily incorporated into my new way of life. I find myself anxiously awaiting the next opportunity to be of service and it's incredibly thrilling. Gotta go, another journey awaits....
Illusions04:36 Sep 11 2010
Times Read: 739
I have been thinking about alot of things lately. Some fairly complicated, and others much more simplistic. For example, why do we as people always seek to find an answer and overcomplicate things? Sometimes I just wish my mind would just stop. Stop seeking. Stop searching. Stop longing. Stop trying to will that which I know is difficult to achieve. It's not weariness, just a desire to press pause and recognize that which is already present. To bask in the glow and be content. There is one thing I desire. My focus and determination never wavering, but it seems almost too much too far out of reach. ALMOST! I'm committed to the outcome, however and will not settle for anything but the manifestation of what will be. I know how to follow the steps to realize the appropriate outcome, I just can't bring myself to complete them. It's fear, and I don't understand why it is present. It doesn't make sense on a rational level. Perhaps I am rambling. Perhaps I have, once again, been exposed to something that has changed forever the way I perceive the world and existence. I'm stuck and all I am and all I want to be hangs in the balance. I am not sure what to do or how to approach it, so I wait. And wait.
01:54 Sep 09 2010
Times Read: 760
It has always amazed me how one can be taken aback by the simplest comment or gesture from a friend. How perception changes, and suddenly the view is so much more beautiful. The subtleties and details of their depth and complexity instantly apparent; the beauty of their spirit blinding in its radiance. It is times like these that I ponder what it is I truly desire. Am I able to be that light for another? Will the things which are broken or damaged ever be repaired and functonal again? Am I strong enough to allow myself to be vulnerable again? Perhaps, the realization and consideration of such a dilemma is the beginning of that healing. For one must first accept their faults in order to repair them. My faults are many. I am not an easy person to know. There are many who I'm sure believe they "know" me.
Anyways, the point is that there is someone who made me realize what I have allowed myself to become. For that, I am eternally grateful. Maybe that person will be around to see me become what I would like to be. I hope so. I really hope so. Kit kats.
Fuck.....lol19:10 Sep 05 2010
Times Read: 797
Ok, so I figured I had better start looking for a coven today. Someone told me at level 20 you are forcibly inducted and I don't want to get stuck with a bunch of ass-clowns (No offense to all the ass-clowns out there). I have better things to do with my time than to spend it in the middle of constant war and chaos. Don't get me wrong, war is necessary and I will defend the honor of my coven and those whose bond is strong until my dying breath. I would just prefer to surround myself with others who consider wisdom and intelligence a possession worth having. Unlike others, I understand the meaning of an oath. I will not enter into one unless I am committed to adhering to it. So, now i weed through all the offers and coven pages to find the one that I am to become a member of.
I suppose the hardest thing for me is to trust. I am a vengeful person when wronged, though I have learned to control it over the years. I believe in honor and I believe that if someone takes and oath and betrays it, then they should suffer the full extent of the consequences they acccepted when making that commitment. I have zero tolerance for lies and betrayal. That having been said, should I not find a coven before I reach level twenty, I will not take an oath or commit myself forcibly. I would rather walk blind or be sent to purgatory than make myself a liar or pledge allegiance when there is none.
I have met a few individuals whom I would be proud to call my friends, and, hopefully, they will one day be counted as such. As for the present, I shall find my place and home within VR. Until then, I shall wander the halls of VR, watching, learning, and assisting where I can.
New Beginnings02:31 Sep 05 2010
Times Read: 815
Today marks the beginning of something wonderful: a transformation of sorts. For I have decided to reach beyond the scope of the seen and venture into the vast expanse which lies before me. There is a purpose now, a drive which cannot be ignored. Any who have accepted a cause in the hopes of contributing to something larger than themselves will understand. Those who have not are destined to remain in the shadows of ignorance.
I am eager for what lies ahead. An expectancy deepens with every step and the commitment is unshakeable. I have accepted the risk and now action is required. For there are those who depend upon me and that cannot be underappreciated nor taken for granted. I shall lay myself upon the altar of sacrifice and emerge victorious! There is no other acceptable outcome. There is one within this realm who knows of that which I write, and to that person I say "Do not fear. For this journey shall not be made in vain"
A friend of mine once said "The only thing worth fearing is the death of change" I believe those words are expecially poignant now. Everything has changed recently, and along with that change a new reality. One where the habits and constraints of the past are left to burn in the ashes of my youth. It is appropriate that this season should come to bear its fruit at this time. I will sew into this reality with a vigor previously unknown. I will accept no manifestation other than success.
For the one whom this is written: Be strong. With knowledge comes light; With truth comes freedom. Embrace them both and there is nothing you can't accomplish!
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