The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Just a constant search for energy. Hate needing to rely on others to supply it to me. Fed up with living in a constant state of anxiety and stress (Yes Stan stress DOES exist)

So tired all the time. Enough of the whining, whinging voice that I hear myself emit everytime someone asks the question 'How are you'



My brain is numb, and I keep trying to remember that Life is meant to be fun. Isn't it? I organise events that are meant to be fun or informative, or remotely enjoyable -only to find that I forget I organised it. I wonder if this is what alzheimers feels like?





If this is the path for enlightenment, can't I play in the shadows - where it is warm and dry and safe within the obscurity and blandness? Can't I take tiny weeny steps over a period of lifetimes instead of you pushing me out all at once in this one?



There is an allure of the nothingness that may come after this life is finished. A part of me hopes that there is nothing more. Only sweet, eternal nothingness. No fear, no pain, just ceasing to be - returning to the earth, becoming dust and bone and molecules of nothing. Maybe I can be a nice soothing breeze that drifts over streams and mountains and carries birds along on their journey.

Ok just to name a few



Likes:



* Hard rock/metal music - being a child of the 80's (when I was aware of music and men - not when I was born), I loved hair bands. It was either that or the likes of Spandau Ballet. It was an easy choice. Def Leppard, Iron Maiden, Twisted Sister, WASP etc etc were/are what i listen to. Nowadays I'll listen to a broad range of music - basically whatever I like, I listen to, bugger the genre and bugger what anyone else thinks.



* Rats and Cats - Whilst I am fond of all animals, rats and cats are my favourites and I have owned many of both over the years.



* Modern technology - yep, I still remember the days of no mobiles, before xbox/playstation and computers. Yes I remember when Pacman was a new thing - tragic!



* Balance - I have never been one to walk too far to either side. Like I have said before, I am a chameleon, and part of that is appreciating that not everything in the 'Light' is good and not everything in 'Shadow' is bad.



* Colours - whilst I love black (and doesn't everything appear slimmer in black?), I also love bright vivid colours - esp if contrasting with black.



* Freedom - I think I am lucky in that I have had very little exposure to discrimination compared to others. Even being open about being pagan has been relatively well recieved, met with ignorance rather than intolerance.



* Ritual - I LOVE ritual and energy work. Alone or with a group, it doesn't matter - just feeling that surge flowing through me (shiver) bliss!



* Art - I am a very visual person. I'll put tattoos and Tarot in this section as well. Good artwork evokes feelings, and emotions - good and bad.



My friends and family - Probably the highest on the list or my loves. I'm a bit of a tigress when it comes to protecting me and mine. I've learned that family isn't who you are born with, it's who you choose.




Glitter Graphics


Dislikes:



* Disloyalty - I have learned that even when you no longer are close to someone, there is no excuse for disloyalty. When I have been given a confidence, I keep that confidence, whether the freindship remains or not.



* Dishonesty - I'm not talking about the little white lies that most people tell. I talking the blatant, 'look someone in the eye and be stabbing them in the back' type. I have witnessed and been the object of this type and once someone offens, they don't get a second chance. I am also more cautious about who knows what, after finding out that not everyone can be honest, trustworthy and loyal.



* Ego driven authority figures - I know this image evokes thoughts of government officials and leaders of society. But I'm more directing my feelings towards those who place themselves in positions that demand obediance and subjegation (?sp). Like a High Priest/ess who is really a predator using their 'position' to take advantage of less aware/younger/more naive students. Of course there are many well read, experienced, well practiced and reputable leaders out there....and an awful lot of frauds.



* I struggled a bit with the next one, cos I can't seem to find one or two words that describe it. It's the type of person that excells in being all about the secrecy of themselves, perpetuating their own mystery. I am a fairly open person, what you see is what you get. I just think that when someone is staying in the shadows too long, they are either afraid of what others may see, or what they themselves are afraid the light will show them. And this is different to a 'mysterious' person. Some people don't want to discuss themselves etc for their own reasons, which is all good. But they will generally not draw attention to this fact. In other words, they don't need to project an image. If you are wanting to come across ads all bad, all mysterious, all knowing etc with me, hate to tell you but I'll cut through your bullshit pretty quickly and you wll do nothing but bore me to tears.



If you were all that bad and mysterious then what the hell would you be doing on an internet site reading a journal written by me FFS?

Delve back into the tarot again.



I love my artistic babies, so much energy and information contained in a little piece of coloured board. I loathe reading for others, especially when they become obsessed with what you've said. FFS I am human and can get it wrong, don't want their miseries added to my own dramas lol.



I've never really 'studied' the tarot, in any formal sense. I've never sat down with another person as 'guru' and had them tell me what symbol I 'should' be seeing. I find the most pleasurable time I have is when I play with them. Just see what comes up. Nothing too serious, h=just some fun.



I love playing with them in a group too, especially if one person picks a card and then we all see if we get a reading from it for that person. Been a loooooong time since I have done that. I miss group work some times.



So I think I shall get back into delving into the mysteries my babies take me to. Can never have enough introspection.



*cue eerie music and uncomfortable pause of uncertainty*



mwahahahahahahahahahaha

It seems everywhere I go there is talk about the twinkly, sparkly vampires of today.



Seriously, am I the only one who still adores the 80's classic 'The Lost Boys' ?? Am I the only one who was rooting for the vampires to beat the Frogg Brothers, and couldn't decide which of the gorgeous hunky guys to throw myself in front of ?? ....although David was always just a bit ahead of the others in the smouldering sexy wannabitemebadboy category.



Where is the appreciation of the classics, before the days when the vampire wasn't so angsty and somehow always falling in love with some pathetic little girl with psychological daddy issues!?



*throws up hands in disgust, and puts of dvd*

www.Vampyourspace.com - Evil, Vampire, and Horror pictures

I may well stuff up some stuff, or not rate people properly etc etc.



I will greatly appreciate guidance, as it is the least of my intentions to offend others inadvertantly. So if I do something wrong and can fix it, show me how. If I can't fix it, let me know so I don't do it again.



I am also learning as I go, I have a lot to learn and will do the best I can.

Damned if I know, so it'd be hard to portray any definiative answer across some inpersonal meduim like this. But here goes.



I am female, so that narrows it down some I guess. Appearance-wise I am tall, curvy - and a bit of a chameleon. I can blend in with real life just as well as I can blend into the different 'scenes' I may chose to attend. I have tattoos, but choose to keep them relatively private as they have great personal meaning to me. My hair colour changes often, I get bored easily hehe.



I love corsetry and fortunately have the figure to wear it well. Nothing makes me feel more in control than when I am wearing one of my many steel boned babies. Add a pair of the thigh highs and I am set.



I can be loud and opinionated, but can also be relatively shy. But I am no pushover and spent many years in my first marriage being dominated by a passive aggressor, so not likely to do that again. I am fairly easygoing. But I am also virgo so can be a judgemental bitch with or without meaning to (something I trying to be aware of and change btw)



I am happy to talk to anyone, and for the most part will accept people as they are, or appear to be. But if you play stupid games or try to screw me over for whatever reason - there are no second chances.



I've studied many things over the years, witchcraft, wicca, paganism in general, shamanic practices and even (gasp) some new age practices. After all the searching, I've found I am much happier working in my own way - although I do love group energy, and working with others for the most part. Again, I am a chameleon, I can work in many ways just as easily.



So I guess if you want to get to know me, feel free. Like I said, I am not here to impress or be impressed with anyone.