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Do you ever think about the paths that we take and how we travel them? How we interact with those around us?



Free time, I've found, is not all that good for me on a mental level. I find my self evaluating all aspects in my life.. I find myself lacking in many areas.

I look at the path that I have traveled behind me and I wish it was dark enough to where I couldn't see it, that way I wouldn't be so tempted to stare so often behind me and pay more attention to what lies before me...



I have a great gift of communicating with others around me, even when things in life go to hell for me, I'm able to deal with the problems brought before me. Detached from my own state of mind. This of course has had it's own negative effects on me in my private life.

I'm almost 30 and I feel just as alone now as I did whilst growing up.. Which is messed up in it's own rate, since I seem to add to the people around me without effort.

Do I trust these people.. Not anywhere near half.

The ones that I do trust I would give everything I am willingly. At the same time I push these people away.. Give them room to push me.. And find out who is real or not by this.. I can count them on hand..



See? Free time for me is not a good thing.. It makes me depressed and feels like I'm stepping backwards through my life.



Which the result leaves me sounding like a whine ass!!

COMMENTS

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LostDamnedSoul
23:13 Aug 24 2010

I know what you mean by : The ones that I do trust I would give everything I am willingly. At the same time I push these people away.. Give them room to push me.. And find out who is real or not by this.. I can count them on hand..

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Oceanne
11:48 Aug 25 2010

Sounds as though you have some issues to deal with.

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