The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

A huge hug and thanks to everyone who made me feel better. Not too much else going on. Dreading the arrival of my father, and hoping that the plane breaks down. Not fatally, but just enough so he doesn't come here. I bought myself an mp3 player as a graduation present to myself, and a bunch of new body sprays that make me smell like flowers and fruit. I think one of the reasons I've been freaking out is because so much is changing, and we all know how well I handle change. I'm just hoping that the few people in my life who are stable don't go off and leave me. Another one of my biggest fears is people leaving me, probably because of all the times I've moved and all the people I've lost. Things are ok.

I feel so alone right now I can barely breathe.

Nothing pisses me off more than when stubborn people insist on going ahead and doing dangerous and stupid things. Especially when they don't realize just how dangerous what they're fucking around with can be. Considering I do have a background and experience with these things, you think they'd listen to me, but no. Of course not, because what do I know?? Apparently nothing. Not to mention that this is not the best time of month to get me upset. People need to realize that caring about them and wanting to keep them safe is not something I can just stop. It's a built in thing that comes with being my friend. Rant done.

I bought a car today! Woohoo!!!!!!!! *dances around happily* It only needs a few minor things fixed, but other than that it's in perfect condition. The auction I went to was insane, and there were a ton of cars I could have gotten, but this one was pretty cheap, and after getting tax, title, registration, and 6 months of insurance paid in advance, I still have about 2000 in the bank. Whee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a tooth in the back where half of it broke off, and the filling fell out. The root is exposed, and hurts like hell constantly. My dentist says I need a root canal and a crown, but for some reason has put it off for the past two months. Now I'm taking ibuprofen (the only thing I have) every few hours, because I can't go in until after Thursday. That's the last day of school, and I have a final so I can't miss that day, and I know I'll be out of it for a few days after. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but this hurts like a bitch. Ok, complaining rant over. ♥

I am trying to turn a blind eye on some things that have been bothering me, as I've been trying to stay in the good mood I have been in. These things bug the hell out of me, and have also made me question my judgement on some matters. However, I am currently choosing the path of "ignorance is bliss," and trying my best to ignore those little behaviors that cause me to want to stangle people. Other than that, everthing is going well.

Here I end up again, pissed off and upset in class. I'm upset because our class "party" ended up being a trip to an amusement park. I hate rollercoasters. I had no choice in the matter, nd neither did our editor. The decision was made by two of the laziest girls in the class, who have no right to be breathing, let alone making decisions. Then people kept asking me "what's wrong?" I'm fucking tired, that's what's wrong. I only get two hours of sleep because I had to finish my 2 final essays for college english, and fix the shit they turn in and call articles. Not to mention that there is a good chance I might fail this class. I got a D on my final, and I've missed a lot of classes and turned work in late. Oh, guess what? If I don't pass this class, not only do I have to pay the couple hundred dollars for it, I don't fucking graduate. Isn't that nice? I will have to make up a whole semester in two weeks with credit recovery. So right now I'm in kind of a panic. Not to mention that I've been starting to take my anger out on someone who's trying to treat me better. I'm sorry Lexi. I don't mean to take it out on you, I'm just frustrated. Last night I got honored for all the work I've done this year academically, and I don't even deserve it. I randomly burst into tears today, and no, I'm not on pms. I'm just tired of having to handle everything by myself. It justs feels like I don't get any support from people. I'll admit it, I'm emotionally weak. And I hate being this way. I hate myself for being dependent on other people for my happiness.

Just having a bad day. People are ridiculously oblivious to the obvious. Why does a person treat you like shit one day, be nice to you the next, and then wonder why you look pissed off. That makes no fucking sense. The only thing that cheered me up was a message from a dear friend. *hugs for David* You make my days brighter.

Well, I finished my presentation. I had to do it four times, and I was nearly falling asleep. Now I'm sitting here in Thompson's room attempting to get some work done. This girl is bugging the hell out of me. She talks to me condescendingly and thought I was a junior. That's funny. She was corrected. I am so tired, I'm going home and taking a nap before I have to go to the NHS banquet tonight. See, I actually write in this.

Damn tornado drills!