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So.. Today was the re-eval for Iae's IEP at school. Things where going fine until the new school psychologist interrupted me talking to one of the teachers that helps my son. She wanted to know my reasons for refusing to put him on medication for ADHD. Told me that they can adjust the dosage until they get it right. I upset her with my response, I told her I would rather beat my child then force him to take medication for ADHD.. And that if I wanted my kid to be stoned then I would buy him pot.



Yes my son has ADHD.. But no he does not need some drug. He hardly acts out in school, he has good grades and we spend several hours on homework every night and on the weekends. I made the commitment to this path..



Why on earth would I want to put my child on medication that is going to make him lethargic or put him asleep by 5pm?



Ok yes there are people who need that medication, that is their choice and I applaud them for doing what is right for them.



If I have to be a volunteer parent in my son's classroom every day of every school week.. Guess what.. I already quit my job to be here when he is home after school. I didn't want to quit it but they would not work with me on a schedule.. Their choice, I made mine.



If it means my kids don’t get to watch allot of TV.. or play allot of video games.. or run around the neighborhood with all the other hoodlums and children.. Oh well, sucks to be my kids..



Homework will be done and chores will follow shortly after. That is my choice as a parent.



I choose to raise responsible young adults who understand the consequences of their actions and exactly what that means.



And yes.. my children know what will happen to them if I find them taking drugs or acting like fools.. Don't believe me? Ask them. By all means do not take my word for it. Wolfbite is here on VR. Ask her.

It has been confirmed, it was a FALSE POSITIVE result on the exam.



I do not have cancer and I am very happy to have that confirmation sooner then expected.

I sit here looking at my monitor and wonder why I am not asleep.



I work at my crafts from the start of my day untill it ends.

I watch the world pass around me and I sometimes wonder... Why?

I see the children playing or doing something. Today wolfbite worked on a present for Khornesone's mother. It is actualy something she had on her list and something I had a plastic canvas pattern for. What more perfect of a gift then something that they have bonded over. An earing tree..



When the kids where at Ko's parents in the summer while I was in South Korea with KO, wolfbite and Grandma spent some time getting Grandma's ears pierced. So this is the perfect gift.



The Master of Disaster.. aka my son, spent a few days sorting beads that he got from the dollar store... to make his sister a necklace. He hopes she likes it and today we wrapped it up into a box for her.



I send all of Ko's presents to him, a few here a few there... but they are there.



I paint and I sew and I organize and I get things done. The house has boxes everywhere, mostly full of things to take with us to North Carolina.



: sighs: My first Christmas without KO...

My first time at his parents house with out him..

I am not feeling so great about that but it will be ok.



It's time to sleep.

I would never run from you...



Those are the words he said to me upon viewing an emoticon on msn.

Two little similes, one yellow one pink, in a little animation.

The pink one chases after the yellow one and when it catches the other. It jumps on it and gives it a kiss and a little heart shows up.



He laughed, he snagged, and he used it. Then he said the words that I hear in my mind from time to time. But my love, I would never run from you. I said I know but it was still cute.



Every now and then he reminds me that he would never run from me. That he spent too much time learning to run to me, he could not ever thing of doing something different. It is a give and take and even though distance plays a part in our relationship and marriage at times, the give and take never changes.



I would never run from you...



No. You would not, nor would I run from you. I learned that it was ok to go to you with my concerns and emotions, with my wants and needs. That I was not going to get hit or belittled or shoved to the side.



I would never run from you...



I can't imagine a life where I would have too. Where I would want too? I find shelter within your arms and at your side, within the sound of your voice.



I would never run from you...



Each day our love grows a little bit more, and in a new direction. We grow together in love and in life. We give to each other and we take from each other. Sometimes it is not equal but it all balances out in the end. I believe in that.



I would never run from you... and I, my love, would never run from you...

They come from many places and many things.

People lead us in all directions at one time and sometimes give us pause to just stop and think.



There are people in my life, both online and offline, which lead me in directions of inspiration that I would never have though to go.



I thank you for that.



I would name names, but I would always leave someone out no matter how unintentional.



You know who you are and what you mean to me. I find great peace of mind with you.



You who help guide my steps in times of need.

You who help pause my thoughts to help gather them.

You who simply say "Hello, how are you?"



You are all so very important to me.



Some days are not as great as others but as I often say.. You must find that one thing each day that will help you smile.



For in each smile there is a calmness and peace that no other can obtain, even if for only a fleeting moment.



Take peace in knowing you have touched my life and I appreciate you.



You are my friends and my family. I have come to count upon you and seek your guidance. Even if only to make me smile.



Thank you.