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Well readers, I have done it again. I have taken another after hours walk in San Francisco, tonight it was all about the fear. Not to many people think San Francisco is a dangours place at night. Well they are dead wrong, we all have this image of the magical land of eqaulty and gay folk. The real San Francisco is a fair worse place than some know. This city is filled with all sorts of Dangers and evil people.

9:16 pm

A lot can be said about a Friday night in SF, towards SFU, thousands of young people roam the city's night clubs and parties. I stay the fuck away from those people, parties I dont mind, its night clubs that really put me the fuck off.

10pm

On Castro, Gay men of all ages are out prowling the bars and clubs for a bit of man flesh. Normally I tend to stay away from Castro, it has nothing to do with Gay folk, everything is to neat and it bugs the hell out of me. Anyway I made my way up to Castro, my weed dealer is on Vaction and this gay sell's joints. Around 10 pm I made my way through the tender loin, every now and than there are black kids rapping and I dig the music. Tonight however a fight broke out between pimps. While a group of on lookers watched, a hooker was turning a trick like nothing was wrong.



11:02 pm

I some how ended up on Height and Ashby, I was in the middle of a god damn hippy district. Hippies old and young were dancing in varouis front prouches. Some girls were dancing in the rain. I ran into an open mic poetry, you have no idea the fear that was travling through my body. They all stopped and looked at me like if the movie "Children of the Korn" HIPPIES. A red headed girl no more older than 19, asked me if I wanted to read my poem. I would normally leave right than and there, but it was raining and they had free food.



11:15pm

I was asked to leave the open mic, the red-headed girl called me a "Fascist" while a middle aged hippie screamed. All I did was resight "Sign of The Southern Cross" by Dio, hippies dont like metal and I thought it was funny.



11:45

9th and Market, lots of brotha's walking around, I had a very deep talk with a black gentleman named "Busted" we smoked a joint and talked about horror movies for about an hour. Than our leisurely chat some homeless kids started fight over the day's take of pan handling. It was like watching to rats fighting over cheese. The fight ended when the fallen streetboy's girlfriend pulled the other boy off him. Meth kids angery for fix on the edge of snapping. There are many Lost Children in San Francisco, SF is the waiting station for runaway's. They all come to San Francisco in hopes of a better life that will most likly not happen. We as people tend to runaway from our fears oppose to facing them, and even than some times facing them can be worse.

Many years ago, a time that most of us will never know. A song was written called, "If your going to San Francisco". That song in a time long ago made San Francisco this magical city to rival New York and The Emerald City of Oz. It is the gatway to the far east, it also has an over flowing ChinaTown filled is illegal immagrants and Massage parlors. The mafia wanted to control the city like they once did in New York. San Francisco is many things to many people. Life through the streets of San Francisco, embrace everything and nothing.



12am

I ended this trip down by the whorf, watching the rain softly touch the bay,on the peir I watched as a young man kneeled down and asked his girlfriend to marry him. Her eyes filled with tears, the young man on bended knee waited with the silence of the bay to comfort him. He than whispered, "I Love you Donna." Her tears fell down upon him like , she he looked at him with more love than humanly possiable. Their hearts were pounding so hard Icould feel the vibrations.

Tension was thick, it seemed like she was really thinking about it. "I" she said, "I-can't!" I was in fucking shock, the girl ran off some where while the guy was still on his knees, the poor bastard i thought. I waited for a good five minutes before I left, I passed him as he was sitting on the bench.

Maybe that is the real goal in Life, find someone who will you love and will love you back. If there is one thing that San francisco has been since the 1960's is place where love rules all, where everyone is equal and love can keep mankind togeather, It was a place and time to be apart of. Anyhour anything could happen, Music, Art, Love, and Peace. That was what San Francisco was in the middle 60's.

But it grew up, now there are people whom wander the night looking for what their lives mean.

I am a lonely god damn person. I mean it, i could go on and talk abot how no one loves me and no one understands me. Instead i am going to talk about the amount of bopoze and pills i have taken. I see all these happy couples all around me,. and god damn it it makes me feel sick. I have had about four glasses (pint sized) of scotch as well as a few valleys to make me loose Iwish I had more but I am on my fifth beer and one pint of heinken. not normally my7 brand but i refuse to feel feelings

I ask you if your with a person whom you love, ask yourself: "Am i happy with this person?" if you are more power to you, i think that it is a higher ower that makes me think that I will always be single.

I have never fit in anywhere, that is why I am writting this, what the fuck is wrong with me, am i that much of a bad person. Sorry to bring the mood down, but being alone sucks. and if you can find some one that makes you happy more power to you.........................