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I look around me now

then I look on back

and remember all the memories

From my haunted past



I start to see your face

infront of me

just like before

the bruises seem new

as I remeber each fist, each kick

like they just happened today



I loose everytime

theres no question

no doubt

In mind

that I'm going to die

to the hands of another guy

because one day

I wont be able to stand

I wont be able to breath

as I suffercate from memory and truth

only to haunt your dreams

with the memories of my blood

upon your very hands....

There was me hideing under the table

I watched your feet carefully

The element of supprise

the cookie jar in sight

finally you move out my way

I ran for the jar as quick as I can

but suddenly your beside me

never even heard you move

"no not quite yet, wait till after tea"



............................................................



I sit quietly watching the fire

reading the books out loud

you listen carefully as I curl up

I feel your motherly warmth

I feel the saftey inside

people think your just educating me

but we both look at each other

and know

that's not really it

its the closeness of being by your side



............................................................



sitting on my horse

trying to catch up with yours

your tall horse that stands wide

and My little fudge

thats stand fat and short

we both trot to keep up

ending in a tierd jogg

you laugh at us

watching are every move

then suddenly we would shoot on by

after that we would sit on a tall hill

waiting for sun down and watch

as your eyes glimpse

with pefect harmony



..................................................................



the little things you do together

the little things that mean stuff

always count at the end

Wake up! I hear myself saying

this is not happeing

Wake up mum please!

I shake her lifeless body

Unknowing she's already gone

please mum! dont leave...

mum...

Dads stareing down

trying to get me to come away

mum wake up

people suddnely rushing in

yellow coats, its the paramedics

mum see it's ok

you've got help now

A police man trys to pull me away

mum, I dont want to leave, mum!



Then dad looks into my eyes

"she's gone kid"

no no mum no