The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Everybody lies to you at on point or another during your time in their lives. Unfortunately, the person who lies to you the most...is yourself.

You tell yourself things will get better, you will change, you'll find something, someone.

It's not YOUR fault that you are in this predicament...Lie.

It usually, if not always is.

Ive been told that i have high expectations for myself that i cannot reach.

This is a lie, but not one i told myself.

I feel like a failure. There are so many things i want to be, and do. And so many things i have screwed up.

Ive pushed them away, and retreated into myself far more then is natural. If i keep going, i wont survive, at least the part of me that shines brightest wont.

I've created a reality that only exists within my mind. One that i wish to the fucking god above were real. it isnt because the real world has failed me...it just hasnt answered the questions and feelings i have. It hasnt satisfied my curiosity of what is really going on. Nor quelled my hunger for more of what isnt real. I need more, constantly.

i need to face reality....

I was recently told by somebody that this Profile is a totaly opposite depiction of who i am, in comparison to my original.

I agree, but disagree at the same time.

Yes the original is more upbeat and spirited focussing more on my social attributes. But that doesnt mean to say Swanne portrays a completely opposite side to me. It just gives me an opportunity to display certain aspects of my personality that dont flourish as easily as others.

Swanne to me is mor about delving deeper into my mind when it comes to creativity. It also brings about a more rational, reserved and well spoken side of me. Not rushed.

It's who i am. I havn't hidden anything, i've been me. I just havn't given all of me a chance to show its self liberally in public.

Swanne is my alter Ego. The person i see myself being. She is my goal.

SinginGhost is my spirit, the soul of me.

That's how I see it anyways :)

I went for a short walk, i wish it had been longer.

*Sigh*

Today's forecast: Overcast with a chance of some very heavy showers.

Still waiting on that sunshine...

... just want it all to go away.

If you were to get a tattoo on your butt...what exactly would you get? i mean really, what does one draw on their ass??

Why do i even bother asking???

I have a blue candy whale

it tastes horrible

but I bought it

so you can’t have it



I turn my back and walk away

and your on it

demanding

my blue candy whale



driving your five year old fist

into my five year old head

again and again

fist to head fist to head



slam into a wall

stupid to jump someone bigger than you

I keep my whale today

I keep my pride today



Tomorrow

I am alone

when your mother comes

a cowards hitman



screaming berating

my five year old mind

my five year old pride

the cowards hitman found her mark



but I kept my goddamn whale

You, are an immature annoyance.

...in need of chaos.