I'm not entirely Sure....but it'll be over soon.
I thought i knew myself....obviously i don't. *shrugs* i would say the worst part of the whole deal, is waking up in the morning.Not having anything to do.
It's just a bit difficult.
Ever notice how people bite into oranges without taking the peel off, and then suck...they usually make a slurping noise if they dont care about manners and such.
Now...think about this..
A guy, or in most cases here, a vampire guy is kissing your neck, he bites down and starts sucking up your blood (sounds soooo erotic it doesnt it?)....and all you hear right by your ear is slurping noises. That'll put you right in the mood....
I think anybody who wants to be a vampire should go through a "Sucking silently 101" class.
I have come to realise, that i come into people's lives for a short amount of time, and then dissappear.
It is never planned, i stay in touch and visit once in a while....our parting is always friendly. Perhaps because we haven't given the relationship time to sour.
I am not sure if i see this as a good or bad thing yet. Like all else, it has it's positive and negative aspects.
I give every new person all of me. I show them the real me and, as stated in my profile, am naturally there to serve.
I am not naive enough to think they will do the same. Nor do i expect it.
There is always selfish intent behind anything i do. Personal gratification, or needs. My reasons for doing something for soembody, are never purely sacrificial. Learn this.
~I seem to remember the warmth of the sun on my back, somehow it seems colder now~
Kitty is sleeping at the end of the bed, feet twitching. She is dreaming. I wonder of what. I didn't dream last night and i hate that, no biggy, i just like to dream. Myabe my mind and body are just too exhausted to want to stay kind of active in it's time of rest. Hopefully, my weekend will be restful, and i will spend some time in my "Field of innocence".
The door is open a tad....Im not sure i want to peak in...but i can already hear the music inside, and i love it.
It's been a while. Hell, it's been a long, heart twisting, bleeding out journey.
No, i am still not finished yet.
I'm just not sure if i am surviving.
Yes, i am surviving, i just dont know if i am coping.
Coping yes, managing?
With difficulty.
The mind forgets so easily. the heart? Not so much.
Yes there are more happy times, in comparison to the sad times, the unfortunate thing is the sad times last a lot...longer.
Not to fear, you make it through, with strength, knowledge, grace and above all....Love/hope/life.
Which one will you end with?
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