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A lady's picking through the frozen turkeys and says to a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" he says, "No, ma'am, they're dead."



And....



Famous people walk on the red carpet, because they are famous. I, myself, walk on toilet paper, because I am the sh!t.

I was perusing the internet today, and ran across, quite by accident, a forum thread discussing chipmunks and buzzing things.



The actual post was rather lengthy, but the one sentence I cannot get out of my mind is:



"You know, chipmunks are like little warm, living fuzzy vibrators."



Help me! I do NOT want to remember this....