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Happy birthday to me.



-see previous journal entry-

Tomorrow, the 19th of June, I turn 25.

It's amazing how my life has gone so far. I feel incredibly old yet quite young all at once. Odd to be hit with the idea of mortality at this time, but I think that it's a subject on my mind more often than not.

If I live to be 100.

A BIG IF considering family history and my medical problems.

BUT if I do so, I am now a quarter of the way to the grave.



An interesting thought.



Part of the thought of mortality stems from the fact that my grandfather who passed away last October's birthday is the day after mine. I think about that more than anything. It will be the first one we've celebrated without him.

I wish I could be numb from it, or move pass the sadness of the loss for a while. It tends to be a looming storm cloud above my head.



...A quarter of the way to the grave.....