I stepped outside into the sun. The light burning my skin. All to help my father walk down the street. With every step it got hotter. my flesh steaming. I ran into an old friend, Briana. My heartbeat started to quicken for the suffering of 4 years still resides. Seeing her face again enraged my soul. But I made a promise, and that promise I will keep. I continue to walk, almost nearing the end. Father asks me why my back is steaming? I tell him not to worry about it. The walk finally over, I bolt to the shadows in the woods. sweat running down my back. The things I do for my family.
Not much to do at the shop. I decided to take a hike in the woods. Not the best idea when it's pitch black outside but I'll manage. I gab my gun belt and peacemaker just in case, and head out. Walking through the woods at night is quite calming. Specially with memories of a wondrous dream the night before. So far away she is, can only imaging when we meet. Quickly I'm snapped back into reality by a growling sound nearby. I silently keep moving, nothing will die today. I sneak my way away from the origin of the noise. After many hours wandering the woods I head back home. refreshed, I put up my guns and decide to go take a nap.
I can repair anything but what was damaged most. A human heart barely beating behind my ribs. No matter how much I do that will never heal. At least not on my own. The only thing to heal such a wound is the heart of a woman. To prove to me I'm not useless. That I can actually do something right. That I can still make a woman smile. That brings me more satisfaction than anything I could ever build. No car, no gun, no modern marvel of engineering. Just a woman's smile, knowing it was put there by me. A special one has begun healing my wounded heart. I could feel it beating once again a day ago. Such a woman deserves the best. And that is what I intend to do.
I find myself in the center of ignorance. But phase me it shan't. I was asked to go across the street to the store and get soda for the shop. "not a problem" I said taking the $20 from Neil. Crossed the street and made my way into the store. on the radio was Hank III. I was in good surroundings. I went to the back and got the soda from the cooler. At the checkout I saw a jacked up ford with 6 guys riding in back pull in. I had a bad feeling about them. I got my change and made my way to the door. Outside they were singing loudly to Toby Keith. One of them saw me and approached me. here we go. "I ain't never seen you before, where you from?" "Palermo" I replied. He stood confused and asked "where the fuck is that? Mexico?" I just rolled my eyes. He looked down and saw my oracle hanging from my neck. "You one of them there heretics?" I just started walking away. he then shouted to his friends "that there is a heretic!" he pulled a gun from his pants." his friends shouting no! don't do it!. The man proceeded and yelled "A heretic killed my father!" I turned around as I heard the hammer of his .38 cock back. Three shots fired. One piercing my throat. and one stopped by my oracle in front of my heart. I fell to the ground for a moment. feeling where the bullet went. It passed clean through. Just grazed my Adams apple. I refused to let myself slip unconscious. I had some gauze pads in my backpack. I grabbed one. It hurt like hell from the bullet the hit my chest. people crowding me asking if I was okay. Sheriff came within minutes and arrested the ignorant boy. I kept telling the people crowding me that I will be okay. I rapped the gauze pad around my neck applying pressure to the wound. I made my way to the shop and asked Neil to get me home. While at home. I lay in bed the wound on my neck healing. my chest still sore from the bullet that destroyed my oracle. as I lay there I thought. If Kell didn't kill me then this sure ass hell wouldn't! But it still hurt. The blindness of a bullet is so pain full sometimes. Specially in the wrong hands.
My truck finally ready to drive, I decided to take it down a dark road that stretches for miles. curve after curve with the windows down. The air like Ice on my lips. I get to a straight away, it goes for five miles. I feel my foot get heavy and press the throttle to the floor. The engine roars as the tires scream. Running through the gears as I reach 175mph. I still have a gear left. Should I go to 200mph or slow down? My brain says it doesn't matter. So I go the distance. with 3 miles left I hit 200mph. The truck running fine. I then remember that there was a time I would never attempt this. one mile to go I slow down. I reach the stop sign 30 seconds later. The adrenaline gone I go back to feeling empty. Even with all my accomplishments it still feels as though there is something missing. Something money, nor power can give me. I realize what it is. There is no one to share the success with at home. No matter what I create, what I accomplish. Means nothing to me without someone to care about it.
My travels to the open country stay a sweet taste on my tongue. Such untamed land which shan't ever be tainted. I regained my strength and nearly cured the wound so fresh in my heart. I made new friends, and one of whom do I wish to be more. The demons of the stagnant grounds where I once lay my head in serenity attempt to haunt me in my new landing. To ensure they not succeed I reopened an old chapter in my former past, storm crow. It kept them at bay as I regained my sight, my judgement, and the clarity to realize that what happened to me a month after my birthday was not only not of my doing, but also out of my control to stop. No one can force love. but I can say that unlike her, I dare to love fully. I did so knowing it wasn't the same for her, and I fell. But I have risen and almost healed the wound. I feel I'm ready to move on, to make my way towards the life I want. And most important, to fall in love again, for the empty space in my heart will not be taken by anything but my real true love. And until we meet, it will remain empty. And until I find that one, will never be whole again.
It's been a month since my soul was nearly drained by a broken heart. How someone can do what she did to me after 6 years together is just so sad. Damian is not even that heartless and he doesn't even have a beating heart. I'm still breathing though so at least I know I'm still strong. I loved for real and she didn't. So I wonder. If love like that was so powerful, I can imagine what true love must feel like. When the one you love loves you back just as intense, and not just at the time. I want to feel that. My mind shan't be clouded by lust, though there will be lots of that. I want love, that is stronger than anything. It made my guitar sing beneath my fingers and my being walk through hell itself again. I would gladly stare death in the face to finally find that woman, For her to find me, for us to never be apart, alone, To be whole once again, for all eternity.
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