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Hold on tight and close your eyes

Open up wide, let the poison flow inside.

Ingest your glycerin and pretend to care

Complain about the world and how it isn’t fair.

Take that drag and inhale slow death

Don’t worry ‘bout tomorrow-just whatever feels best.

Take her hand and don’t let go…

She doesn’t know the meaning of the words “going slow.”

Play this world until it destroys you from the inside

Cling on to the emotional scars that you know that you can’t hide.

Suck away the all feeling until nothing remains.

Then explode it from within, no longer able to contain…

Surround yourself with bodies of those that you once loved

Spare no thought of consequences, only of the blood…

Drag the icy blade across your fragile skin…

Drown in the ashes of the world you’re living in…

Choking on the words as you try to beg for help,

Suffocation comes so easily the deeper that you delve.

I offer now my hand to you, but only just this once

After that, it’s up to you to save yourself from what you’ve become…

Everything in my life has gone so horribly wrong,

And all I have left are the memories…

The jokes we told,

The songs we danced to,

The love we once shared…

It’s all gone.

And as the pain rushes in-

Pulling me down into the bleak depths of depression-

I take away the hurt,

The throbbing ache of despair…

And I create a paradise in

Blissful numbness.

My birth, my greatest sin

My life, my greatest regret

My emotion, my greatest weakness

My pain, my only outlet

My tears, my only expression

My love, my greatest sorrow

My death, my salvation

I miss you…

I miss the mischief in your eyes before some poor, unsuspecting person fell victim to one of your outrageous pranks…

I miss the way your ears turned pink every time you’d blush…

I miss the way one side of your mouth rose higher than the other-giving you just the right amount of crookedness for a smile you could love to laugh with, but still melt for…

I miss the way you smelled like faded after-shave

And the way you hair had just the right amount of curl no matter how short you cut it…

I miss the way you laughed

And how your eyes would change with your mood-

From a striking emerald when you were happy to a sapphire when you were upset, and every once in a while, flakes of sea green would fade into a stormy ocean blue.

I miss your laugh

And when you would hold me in your arms and tell me you would love me until the day you died…

Thank you for keeping that promise.

Burning somewhere deep in the furthest, most secretive catacombs of my soul is all the passion and love I have for you.

Resurfacing daily in the back of my mind are images of the first time we went out together… And the first time you ever kissed me…

I’ve never understood the way I feel when I’m with you… Sometimes I’m unusually giddy… Others, I’m unnaturally quiet… Sometimes I’m so nervous it takes my breath away…

All I need is for you to say the word, and I would be yours from now until forever… I’m still wondering when I’m going to wake up from this fantastic dream…

No matter what turn the road of life may take, I will never forget the boy who took my heart by surprise and made it skip a few beats… Never will I forget my first love…

I get up in the morning

And put on this false countenance.

I position my makeup just right…

And hide the hate in my eyes

With a smile

That never quite reaches inside.

I pretend to be happy and

To care about what everyone thinks…

I pretend to live in this warped world

Where everyone is just as fake as I am…

And I fight a battle I’ve already lost

By simply existing here

In this twisted reality…

Icy on the inside,

Frozen on the out.

Bottled up inside,

Her emotion leads to doubt.

To liquefy the ice

That surrounds a heart of stone

Could be the greatest sin

The world has ever known.

Like a knight in shining armor,

You rush to save the day

When all that’s really wanted

Is for every one to stay away.

The wall around my heart-

As impenetrable as they come-

Couldn’t be torn down so easy;

Everything’s gone numb.

To recognize what it is,

Would mean that I admit

That my heart’s not made of stone.

It’s fragile; you could break it…

Hard, icy skin against my cheek

My heart pounding against your chest

The hollow sound reverberates back in empty sorrow.

A piercing pain on my jugular

And then, naught but sweet bliss

As I submit to the pleasant numbness.

Liquid fire ignited at my throat

Courses throughout and makes me whole.

Floating in a mind-boggling haze

The emptiness in itself is exhilarating.

As I succumb to the darkness,

And my mortality slips away…

One last thought:

I’m free...

All of my poetry orginals have been lawfully copyrighted and are currently being held in sealed & postmarked envelopes at my home. If you wish to copy them for any reason, as long as it is not to be released to the public, you may do so. If you have any questions or comments, please email me at lil_rebel_angel06@yahoo.com



Thank you,



Amber Darter