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Sometimes love really sux, but then there are the times that it doesn't. I miss those times. I miss the hapiness. Everyone deserves love. I don't care who or what you are. Everyone does.

Jus for once I'd like to find someone to be with that didn't take advantage of me. I always put my heart and soul completely into the relationship only to find that I'm just a toy. A stupid guinea pig in a teenage boy's stupid fantasy. I hate it that no matter how hard I try that I end up getting screwed over. No matter which end on the spectrum I end up at, I'm always taken advantage of. What the hell is wrong with me that this always happens? I mean why can't I seem to find my true love? Whay can't I find someone that loves me for me and not just a piece of ass? This always happens. I must be defective or something. I just wish I could find my love. Just once. I'd gladly give anything to find that one person in the world that actually gives a fuck about me. But that'll never happen. Because the world is full of assholish, perverts that just want sex. Well you know what? Screw the world ok? Not like I ever belonged in it anyways. I've always been the outcast. Hell even my father didn't want me. I guess that should've been my clue from the beginning that I'd never be wanted. I should've known all along. Maybe then I could've changed things long ago rather than turning into the stupid idiot that I am. But there's no helping me now. There is only giving up. So ya, I give up ok? Is everybody happy now? The ugly geek girl gives up ok? I hope everyone is happy now because there truly is no reason to my life without a true love.

I wish that I were pregnant.

Everyone around me says that I should wait.

I don't think that they understand.

This feeling is like a longing.

A desire that can not just be put to the back of the shelf.

There are days that I just break down.

This desire is always gnawing at the core of my being.

It's not something I can change with a thought.

It's a part of my very existence.

They will never understand how I feel.