The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I've had a relatively decent day. Got the locks changed on the new place. Bought a new couch for it, which was kind of humorous. Mom has a whole new level of busy work with the house to keep her occupied and relatively out of my grill, so that's good. Did Istark maintenance, because he is off his meds and relying on weed to solve his anxiety (which means a Come to Jesus is scheduled for the weekend).



More importantly, the 2 days away from work have done wonders for my stress levels. I definitely need a change there. It's not a maybe. I told a close friend about what's going on, and the same thing happens as always happens. The outsiders think I'm nuts for putting up with it, while the people caught in it think it's normal. *rolls eyes* Well, it's not. I know times are tough, I know I'm grateful for even having a job. But I'm not going to pretend that a peanut isn't a peanut.



I think I just need to smile more as I tell them that I won't be eating shit. So a grinnin' fool I'll be.



For now.

In Memoriam,



Robert Southgate Sr.



January 25, 1925 - March 18, 2002

COMMENTS

-

---

Sinora
12:48 Mar 18 2008

Ahh I have'nt heard anybody using that word...Summerlands for a long time.

---

POST COMMENT

I will be a homeowner.

A bit scary. But, I'm hopeful.

COMMENTS

-

---

Irony
23:49 Mar 28 2008

Make sure you have really really good insurance and keep a filing cabinet for all of your household stuff. You will thank me for this someday if you don't already have those things.



Congratulations on your bricks and mortar, long may they shelter you:)

---

POST COMMENT

So tonight, I was looking for something and I stumbled across journal pages I'd saved from a particularly dismal time in my life. The little voice was screaming at me to put it down, but I kept reading. I was heaving sobs within minutes, and although this all happened six years ago, it was like I was in the middle of it all over again. I'm still rattled, like the pages themselves sucked the life out of me, as if my ex was hiding there, in the pages, waiting for his second serving of flesh. It's times like these that I wish there was someone around to talk to, but no one really is at 2 am. I guess I should just call it a day. I'll sleep, and let my cats chase away any of the unwanted shit.

It appears I have some work to do...

You Are 46% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side. Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

It's been an interesting and frustrating week. I'm bushed, and I'll probably sleep a good goddamn amount of time before I pull myself out of bed to run all my errands, and before mom taps me to do mom maintenance.



I've had lots of conversations with people at work, who ended up telling me honest things. And I find myself wishing that these fucking people would just be honest with me in the first place, rather than waiting until 8 pm, sauntering up to my desk and pouring their hearts out. It would save them a lot of breath, and me a lot of benzos and sleepless nights.



I find that people are obsessed with backstabbing other people at my office. I told one girl this evening to stop concentrating on backstabbing, and start front-stabbing. It's quicker, and more honest and efficient. If more messy.



I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow at the cheap place, because as of Tuesday, I will be a homeowner. That day is, by complete coincidence, 6 years to the day that my father died. I will be signing papers, eating lunch with Mom kamph, and waiting for the fucking water and sewer people to get to the house in their own sweet time. I have a feeling I'll be spending the rest of the day loaded, trying to remember that it's now a good day, not a bad.



Most of all, I will have a proper basement, which means 1. I will be tornado proof and 2. my cat can make his giant, human size turds down there, instead of the living room.



And people say I'm not an optimist...

I've had a very up and down day. Which, I guess, is better than being strait down. With my crappy job, moving, Istark's family and mom, I think my stress has gotten me to the point where my brain is just shutting down. Istark and I got in a stupid argument and we both left it crying. I can't feel much of anything at the moment. There's nothing on TV, and I should probably just go to bed. But I really don't feel like doing that either.



/sigh

I had a very strange dream last night. It's probably because I swiped one of my mom's valiums and took it. That stuff always gives me weird dreams (haven't been sleeping well, but that's another story). Anyway, I looked at the clock and it was 4 pm. I have to be to work by 3 pm. I called my boss in a panic, and he's kinda of an asshole. He wasn't mad, he was just laughing at me that I overslept. So I'm trying to get ready and get to work, and I stop at my favorite Chinese restaurant to get some food, because I haven't eaten. But it's turned into some kind of huge sit down, 7 course meal restaurant. I let the waitress seat me, even though I'm really late to work now. I have to go to the bathroom, and I'm wearing this swimsuit under my clothes that's been cut up, and is way too small. I'm trying go get it off, because I can't go to the bathroom, and the waitresses keep coming in and bothering me. I finally go sit down, and they haven't brought my meal yet, just roasted pigs feat for an appetizer. I start eating them, even though it's getting REALLY late. I wonder if I'll be able to get the food to go, but there's just too much of it. then I woke up.



WAY fucked up. I would never eat pigs feet to begin with. Most people enjoy sleeping. I don't. =(

I have mucho bills to pay. I have to go in fucking early to work AGAIN tomorrow, and on Thursday. I haven't recovered from the weekend, and I need another damn day off. My stepkids's bitch mother is insisting on keeping them in a shelter rather than with us. Because apparently, if you're fucked in the head enough AND hell-bent on ruining your children's lives, the State will reward you handsomely.



/sigh



And pretty much all i want to do is curl up in a corner with a decent bottle of Vodka and stay there for a while. Not gonna happen any time soon.



Someone have a drink for poor ol' me, ok?

/cheer



/wine for everyone!

I'm hoping my Boss wasn't full of shit, and he meant it when he said he'd consider a 4 day week. My week hasn't even started yet, and I'm exhausted.



That said, my profile is mostly done. =)

I thought I was marginally proficient at coding, at least for the purposes of this journal.



I was mistaken. I'm ready to break something.