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I can't lift

My head too high.

I can't force force my fingers

To reach and touch the sky.

I can't raise my voice

So it can be heard over your kind.

I can't do much of anything.

I can't even cry.

You see, I'm only human.

Though of that I'm not sure.

Many things are different

Than you would have ever thought before.

My eyes are red as night

Wait that doesn't make sense.

My eyes are red as blood

From a freshly slit wrist.

My fingers are long

But can't reach anything.

My voice is hoarse

And I have no ability to scream.

My lips are big

But my mouth is small.

Full of words

I can't speak at all.

My feet are nailed down

Fore change comes from the first step.

But how can I change

If I'm held back unlike the rest?

Heavy weights about my neck.

Keeping my eyes on the floor.

For fear of me seeing

Something worth fighting for.

You see, I'm only human.

Though of that I'm not sure.

Many things are different

Than you would have ever thought before.

Do you know what pain is?



To have a noose made of scrutiny

Put around your neck and to be

Hung on the ledge of hatred?

To have opinion trapped

In your throat because the hands

Of "logic" held your tongue.



Do you know what pain is?



To be forced to stand on the cliff

Called Sanity and stare into the

Abyss called The Future?

As you're pulled ever closer?



Do you know what pain is?



To fall and know you can't get up?

To be alone...

To have no one to trust.

To never know what to do?



Do you know what pain is?



To no longer feel "pain"?

To just know it should be there?

To know the abyss was made

For you?

And to know you're already there?



Do you know what pain is?

Pride makes you

Stride.

With pride comes

Confidence.

Such a presence

Of proudness.

You seem bold

But I was told

You were just acting.

That you were subtracting

All the fear

From your life.

But I just don't see

How or why

It could come to this.

Why you use your tricks

To try and be loud

But you're not even proud.

You just wanna be seen and heard

But that's kinda absurd.

Your pride makes you

Stride. But your

Pride is fake.

So cut the crap

For heaven's sake!

I say what must be said.

I do what must be done.

No matter the cost.

No matter the harm.

Saving the saved.

Breaking the Broken.

Leaving my path

Of too many words spoken.

Eyes finally been laid

On the words of an Angel.

Not following God.

Living in danger.

Fighting with others.

Now look what I did.

Others are bleeding.

Others are dead.

Peace with others.

Now look over there.

Others are breathing.

Others are scared.

They see brute power.

The saw no patience.

They now understand

What they're dealing with.

Begged for my help.

Asked for my advice.

I gave what they needed:

I watched some of them die.

Carrying the guilt.

Carrying the anger

Having sinned as much

As a human stranger.

I know God's rules.

I know my code.

Live forever,

Never do what you're told.

Breaking the saved.

Saving the broken.

Leaving my path

Of too many words unspoken.

I say what must be said.

I do what must be done.

No matter the cost.

No matter the harm.

The bombs won't stop.

The hate won't end.

Way too many lost ones.

Lost in disagreement.



It keeps raging on.

This long-lasting war.

I want it to stop.

But I love what I'm fighting for.



Which will come first?

Victory or death?

I think I'll win this battle

With my last breath.



I'm suffering a trauma

A bloody head wound.

I need to rise up

And get on my feet soon.



I let out a shaky breath

As I struggle to my feet.

Forget what I was fighting for.

Then remember it was me.



It keeps raging on

This long-lasting war.

I want it to stop.

But I love what I'm fighting for.