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My heart hurts,

emotionally, physically.

I try so hard......

it's never good enough.

I feel like such a waste...

I feel lost and alone,

Why can't I bring happiness?

Am I not intelligent enough?

Do I not work hard enough?

Is my body not the image of perfection you so badly desire?

How much more must I give?

Wait, I already know the answer to that,

My heart and soul and then some.

I must give all that I am,

till I am no more.

How long must I keep fighting?

Wait, I know the answer to that too,

Forever. Until Infinite.

My work is never done

and that is so hard for me to accept.

My prayers to the goddess are for solace

for happiness, for peace, and for love.

Ah but love has a price,

it always does. Unless it is the unconditional love of a familiar. My familiar whose name I will not mention is the most adoring feline, and will listen with patience to my tales of heart ache and woe. She understands.

But there is still the need for love and lust

from another of my kind. One who will comfort

me with a kiss, and hold me in silence.

Again, my heart hurts.