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I cannot stop thinking about the way a "friend" of mine talked to me a couple weeks back. She was attacking me, yet telling me how she wasn't attacking me and that she is done sugar coating things. I never asked her to sugar coat things, as she called it. I never told her not to be honest with me. I never told her to hold anything back, but at the same time I expected some amount of respect when she would express how I've made her feel or how I have done something that has wronged her. I simply expected her to talk to me the way I talked to her. I never used mean words, or made her feel bad for her actions. I never attacked her or made her feel like shit. I would be tactful and respectful in what I said to her.

Though once I did made a video about my frustrations about passive aggressive people, and she took this as a passive aggressive attack toward her. I deleted that video and apologized to her and that was that.

She used everything against me that I have ever said, posted and done just to win the argument herself and I were having. She had the nerve to call me selfish because I made my facebook account all about me. Well no shit my facebook will be posts all about me, it's my fucking facebook account.

I am still feeling a tad upset about this whole situation and am finding it hard to forget and move on. I don't know why I am so stuck on it. I just want to move on with my life and not give her another second of my thoughts and feelings. She is no longer my friend and I have blocked her number so she can no longer harass me.

I am guilty of holding onto things and letting them eat away at me when I shouldn't. I just need to get this all out and get on with my life. I shouldn't be wasting a second on this pathetic excuse of a human. She means nothing to me and never truly was a friend. Everything I would do for her was never enough or I didn't do it the way she wanted it to be done.

I am done with her and her bullshit. She is nothing but an empty shell of a person.

Id love to scream in her face of all the things that she has done that makes her a shitty person. How she told when a friend wronged her so she spread all the personal things this friend had told her around at school. How she told me she would cheat on her boyfriends to see if she still had feelings for them. How she gave a boy a handjob at school under the desk. How she whored herself around like a dirty slut.

But, that would solve nothing.. It would simply cause more drama and issues. But, it would make me feel so much better.

Makeup is a huge passion of mine and I have been trying to make money by sharing this passion of mine with my friends and family. I am still a Younique make up presenter and I am trying my hardest to make sales, but still haven't had much luck. I have people expressing interest in product and I have had family members buy product from me. My mother is wanting to buy some skin care products from me, which is awesome. I am supposed to go over to her place tonight to help her pick which skin care products she is wanting to buy.

I have been sharing photos and posting videos of me talking about the products on facebook and instagram. I have also been talking to my Younique mentor about what I can do to be more successful in my business.

I am going to put more effort into posting and sharing my love of Younique with my friends and family. I am going to start adding more people on facebook as well so I have a bigger audience for my posts.

I can do this!

Just finished my first week of full time hours at work. I am exhausted to say the least. I really like working days instead of nights though. I get to spend more time with my baby girl and I actually get to put her to bed myself instead of my mother having to put her to bed for me.

I cleaned the house yesterday after work, so the next two days I don't have to do any cleaning! I hate cleaning so very much. If I were rich, I would totally hire a maid to keep my house clean. I am too lazy for that crap.

My boyfriend told me the other night that he wants to leave the kitchen industry and go back to school for graphic design. I told him to go for it and that I fully support his decision on going back to school. Eventually I would like to go back to school as well to become an addictions councilor for high school students. I love helping people and I thought that would be the best way I could help others.

I have always struggled with trusting other people. I have been having difficulty trusting my partner some times, especially when I find evidence that he has lied or has been doing things behind my back that he said he would no longer do. It really upsets me that he does these things and it makes it hard to trust what he says when I ask him questions.

He always tells me he is doing his best to rebuild my trust, but I don't see it. He keeps doing things that breaks that trust I have build in him. He doesn't seem to understand that flirting with other women is a huge no no. I would never flirt with another man or woman, because that would be going against the relationship I have with my boyfriend.

My boyfriend's defense for his actions was incredibly weak and he just got super angry with me. I made the mistake of snooping, but the fact that I continue to find evidence that he is flirting with other woman and such is disturbing and just fuels my want to snoop.

I don't know what to think or what to do right now. I confronted him about his recent slip up and he apologized. I am tired of apologies, I want him to actually stop.

I just noticed that my "best friend" from high school has removed me from facebook. This was oddly heart breaking even though we were obviously drifting apart. I feel alone and depressed now. I have one friend now, someone who I rarely get to see because life likes to get in the way. If I lose her, I will have no friends and will truly be alone. Ive never had a huge group of friends and I have been okay with that, but now I only have one person in my circle that is a friend and that really scares me.. I dont want to be without friends, I dont want to be alone.. I am scared, stressed and depressed.

I am feeling like a failure of a mother. I am finding it difficult to keep the house stocked with food for Audrey. I spent the last of my paycheck on food for Audrey and it wasn't as much food as I was hoping. I feel like I am failing her..

I just received a pay raise and more hours today for work. I really hope that makes buying food for my daughter a lot easier. My boyfriend is supposed to be getting a pay raise soon as well, which will help us out even more! Everything is falling into place.

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KitaciousKitaka
04:58 Aug 21 2016

hugs

as long as your daughter is not going hungry and neither are you and your partner you have plenty of food

We all feel at times there isn't enough food in the kitchen to feed our kids especially as they grow from infants to toddlers to school age to teens

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I am feeling so bored and restless tonight.. It is driving me crazy! Nothing seems interesting and nothing keeps my interest for longer than a few minutes right now. I don't know what I want to do. I feel as if there is nothing to do in this boring place. There is nothing of real interest on here either. Same old stuff as the last time I logged in.

Ive been struggling with my self image again. I feel like I am too fat and not attractive enough. I want to be skinny again and find myself attractive again. I had such a nice body before having my daughter. Now my body is saggy and covered in stretch marks. I don't want to look this way anymore. I have started working out again and drinking these supplement tea drinks and diet vitamins. Working out makes me feel a lot better about myself. The endorphin rush from working out is amazing and makes me feel 1000 times better. I am working out three times a week. Once I am in better shape I will start exercising daily.

My appetite for food has completely disappeared. I have to force myself to eat and that is the worst feeling ever. I wish I enjoyed eating like normal people do. I find it very hard just eating a small bowl of macaroni and cheese. At one point in my life I would have no issue eating multiple large bowls of macaroni and cheese. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I am just not hungry anymore.

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Dakotah
22:46 Aug 11 2016

I get you do not see what I see. This is not a come on either. I have a girlfriend. I just want to tell you what I see: A beautiful Lady. Seriously, you are a really beautiful.

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Woolfe
22:24 Aug 12 2016

Thank you :)

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I doubt anyone cares or has really noticed, but I am sorry for my lack of activity with in Vampire Rave. I have been feeling much too stressed, tired and depressed to do much on here. My life lately has purely consisted of work, sleep, eat, take care of my daughter and repeat!

I will eventually get back into the swings of things once I am feeling more comfortable in my new home and more comfortable with the changes at work. The most I can handle doing on Vampire Rave as of late is update my Journal. Anything else overwhelms me and that is not something I enjoy all that much.

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cr8054
09:05 Aug 07 2016

We all understand that people have a life outside of VR. This is a rough time for you and we understand. We in the coven are here for you. Do what you need to do. Your health and your family come first.

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SimpleMan
10:46 Aug 07 2016

Like CR I notice but if I. Became worried I would message you. Your life at home is more important than being here.

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Well, I tried to get my prescription for anti depressants refilled yesterday but for some reason I am no longer listed on my boyfriends coverage for meds. So He called his boss asking what the fuck is going on and she said the insurance company fucked up and that they will be getting it fixed soon. So, until then I will be unmedicated. I have been going through medication withdrawal and some crazy ass mood swings. I slept a good 3 hours today to try to feel better and sleep off some of the withdrawal. I am feeling a tad better now. The mood swings have stopped and I am feeling less spaced out. Hopefully I will be able to get my medication soon.

All is well in our new dwelling. It is so nice and so quiet in this place, opposed to our old home. Audrey is still settling in and is teething still. She has been rather destructive and mischievous lately. She has been sleeping decently as well, which has been nice.

We have been having a lot of lightening and thunder storms this month. We have not had much of a summer that is for sure. One more month of "nice" weather before winter hits! Hopefully we do not have a nasty winter!