The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I am wanting to make some new YouTube videos here soon and would like some ideas of topics I could discuss and would like everyone's input and suggestions!

Some of my interests are makeup, hair, writing, photography, art, baking and animals. I was thinking of making a video about one of my interests/hobbies.

Leave a comment below on what you think I should do my next video on! Thanks so much :)

Here is a link to my channel! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVItXKt3KpvGWxKBeSFZVZA

Today is Audrey's first Easter. We got her a little stuffed bunny, which she loves! I am so happy she likes it, I was worried she wouldn't.

This afternoon we are going to Audrey's grandmothers for dinner and to visit for a bit. I am looking forward to getting out of the house and spending time with some family. I haven't gotten together with my boyfriends mother for quite some time, so it will be good to see her. The last time we all got together was Christmas eve, so it really has been a while.

Right now Audrey is playing in her crib, the boyfriend is playing Fallout 4 and I am posting on Vampire Rave. It has been a very relaxing day so far. I didn't sleep in at all which was disappointing. My body doesn't let me sleep in passed 9 am no matter how hard I try. It is starting to get on my nerves.

My wrist has been really bothering me lately from the repetitive motion and heavy lifting at work. I had to wear my wrist brace to bed because of how sore my wrist has been. I should still be wearing the wrist brace but it irritates me way too much when I am trying to type of care for Audrey. I will just have to suffer through the pain and suck it up.

Today was an exhausting and long one! I am so tired and grumpy it is ridiculous. I was kept on my toes all night at work and really felt the pressure. Luckily I only have one more day of work until it is my weekend, which I am really happy about. I just finished eating some dinner and am now drinking some coffee and eating potato chips before heading to bed. I thought I may as well update my journal here on Vampire Rave before heading to bed.

I am trying to write in my physical journal more often again, I have been neglecting it since starting work. Other than the passed few stressful work days, I am really enjoying my job and am so grateful to have a job. I am so happy to finally be able to help provide for my family. I am very proud of myself for pushing myself to go to work and put myself out of my comfort zone for the sake of my family. I want Audrey to have the best life possible.

I am curious about who actually takes the time to read my journal entries. I see that a decent amount of people have added my journal to their favorites and I wonder if they even read what I post half the time. I don't see the point of adding a journal to your favorites if you never intend on reading it. I really don't care if a lot of people have added my journal. I am not here to compete with other people. I simply like posting here to vent and blow off some steam. I write for myself and no one else.

I am really looking forward to next weekend. We have a lot planned. Sunday Audrey's grandmother is coming over, Monday my boyfriend and I are seeing the new Batman VS. Superman movies, and Tuesday we might go to the zoo. It is going to be a lot of fun! 3 more days until the fun begins!

Audrey is fast asleep in her room right now. She tuckered herself out by playing with her toys in the living room. She is so adorable. I love Audrey so much it hurts. I cannot believe Audrey is 8 months old now, she is growing up way too damn fast. Where did my tiny newborn go? haha.

COMMENTS

-

---

StrangeWings
21:22 Mar 24 2016

I have to admit, I don't have time to get around to all the journals on my favorites list as often as I would like, but I do try to check them occasionally - especially the ones that are updated frequently. So, I hope you don't mind me stopping by to catch up a bit *winks*

---

Morganna777
00:37 Mar 25 2016

I have read your Journals... It is my thing as you can imagine from the depths of mine... I am here, and I do read... and enjoy them very much!



I hope you are well...



Morganna777

---

POST COMMENT

I miss writing short stories, but I never know what to write about anymore. I will sit down and start writing and then get writers block. It is so very frustrating and it discourages me from writing further. I need to just sit down and write what ever pops into my head and not give up as soon as I get stuck. I need to push through the block and keep going.

I find when I am depressed or in pain I write the best, as bad as that may sound. Pain inspires me I guess you can say. It makes my thoughts run wild.

I dont know, I will figure this out eventually I am sure. It will just take time and practice like anything else does. Right now I am sitting in my parents basement relaxing on the couch with their dog Lara. She has been feeling depressed since the passing of Koda. Lara and Koda were best friends and would play and cuddle with one another. It makes me sad seeing her in the slumps so I have been cuddling with her and playing with her.

So far my day off is going well. I watched some of my TV show, played some Far Cry Primal and now I am posting on Vampire Rave. Once my boyfriend goes to work and the TV is free I plan on playing some more Far Cry Primal. So far it is a great game, but I am only 20 minutes into it so I cant say much about the game yet.

My boyfriend has been playing Fall out 4 a lot and he really seems to like the story. I think I will play fall out 4 once I am done Far Cry Primal. I am finding it difficult to see whats going on in the video game today even with my glasses on and that is really irritating me. I haven't been wearing my glasses as I should and this is the consequence of that. I need to start wearing my glasses regularly if I wish to be able to see in 10 years. I have been straining my eyes badly. I really hate wearing glasses though, they hurt my face and give me a head ache from pushing on my sinuses. The prescription is good and it makes every a lot easier to see, I will have to just suck it up and wear them.

Finally I have the next couple days off! Just finished taking a shower, which made me feel so much better. I always feel a thousand times better after showering and being clean. Being clean is one of the best feelings there is, especially after working in a kitchen environment.

Now I am laying in bed and relaxing. Hopefully I can get a good amount of sleep tonight. I am really missing Audrey right now. My parents took audrey for the night because I had to work and it was easier for them to take here there instead of staying at my place like usual. I will have her back home tomorrow afternoon, but that seems so far away. I will just have to suck it up and wait for her.

I haven't been eating as well as I should be. Today all I ate were some rice cakes, soup and some candies. I really need to get back to eating regularly or else I will never lose this weight.

Today is finally my "friday". I am so happy that I will have the next three days off after today. I need some time to center myself and my energy through meditation. Audrey will be spending the night at my parents which will allow me to sleep through the night which will be really nice.

Audrey has been stressing me out and making me feel bad because I cannot get her to eat solids and she is in a lot of discomfort from teething. Her teething has gotten progressively worse through out the month and it hurts me to see her in pain. I want her to be happy and healthy all the time, but I know this wont always be the case. She will occasionally be in pain and get sick like everyone else in the world does. As a mother I just wish to be able to protect her from everything even though that is not humanly possible. A mother instinct is something that is strong with in me.

This weekend I hope to be able to be intimate with my boyfriend. It has been a few weeks since we have had the opportunity to be intimate due to work or other situations out of our control. I have gotten better at dealing with my sexual urges though, which has made life a lot easier for me. I used to become very irritable and snippy when I couldn't be intimate, but now I have over come that and have accepted that it sometimes cannot be a regular occurrence in my life right now. All good things come in time, and I need to be patient.

Work is going well and I am learning a lot about the kitchen industry and how to prep different kinds of foods. I am really enjoying this work environment and it feels awesome to be able to pay bills and help provide for my family and it not all being on my boyfriends shoulders. Me working has taken a lot of stress and worry off my boyfriend and we are both happier relationship wise. There have been less melt downs and arguments related to money and other financial stresses. We were able to pay rent and once I am paid my tip out we will be able to pay the rent we were unable to pay for last month. We are finally getting back on our feet and it feels great.

Life has been a lot better for my family and myself. I have been more open with my boyfriend about my feelings and how I have been regarding an issue he has been struggling with for the past 10 years or longer. He is getting better slowly but surely and it is not affecting our relationship as badly. He has asked me to give him some space and to stop nagging him on the subject. I promised him I will stop, but if I notice him getting really bad again I may have to break that promise I made. I hate to break promises, but he would be breaking a promise as well if he continued on this issue. I hope he can over come this and get better. I love him so very much and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I am not one to give up just because we have hit a road bump in our life. I hate how couples these days choose not to solve their issues and instead end the relationship right away. If we just give up and quit like that how can we expect the next relationship to be any better? There will always be fighting and conflict in a relationship. Yes, if there is an unhealthy amount of fighting and you cannot overcome your differences and it is making you unhappy then you should move on.

Anyways, that is all I have to say for right now. I should probably get some things done before work tonight.

Since having Audrey I have been struggling with my body image, so for the past 2 months I have been working out and trying to eat better and more regularly. So far so good! I have lost a noticeable amount of weight on my arms, stomach and now legs.

Since starting my new job I have noticed my legs are toning up a lot because I am on my feet all day, which is awesome. I have also noticed I have lost even more weight since starting my new job. I am beyond happy!

I have decided to start waist training as well to help get the figure I want even more. I am continuing to work out and eat better. I am happy with the results I have been seeing from what I have been doing. I cannot wait to see the results from waist training, working out and being on my feet all day. It will be interesting for sure!

My end goal is to be back at 150 pounds, which is my healthy weight for my height and body type.

Today I start my work week, which I am happy about. Hopefully they let me do some food prep this week again, I enjoy learning how to make new foods. I hope learning all these kitchen skills helps me at home in my own kitchen so I can cook awesome meals for Audrey and my boyfriend.

The city wide event Big Taste is finally over so we wont be as swamped anymore which will be great. I hated how busy we would get some days. I would like to be able to leave earlier than 12 am.

I am feeling a lot better about having to put Koda down. I have finally come to terms with it. I will always miss him of course, but now I can move on and get on with my life as normal.

I am craving to have a conversation with someone, it doesn't matter who with or what about. I want to just sit down and have a conversation that lasts. I find my conversations with people do not last very long.

Tomorrow will be a good day for conversation hopefully. I should be able to converse with some of my coworkers. I really enjoy talking with the people I work with, they are all very friendly for the most part. I try to have conversations with my boyfriend, but I always feel like I am annoying him when I do.

Just another day... Audrey is in a great mood, which I am grateful for. I don't know if I could handle another day of Audrey being fussy. Seems her teething has slowed down a bit.

This afternoon we are heading out to pick up a few things. It will be nice to get out of the house and distract myself.

At the moment I am watching some Netflix while Audrey plays with her toys. Hopefully my boyfriend wakes up soon so we can start the day.

Tomorrow I start my work week. I am looking forward to working and staying busy. I like to stay busy. Sitting around at home all day is not my idea of a good time.

Koda passed away at 7pm today.. I cannot believe my dog is gone. I already miss him significantly and it has only been a few hours. Rest in peace good friend, I will remember you always. I know you are in a much better place now and no longer in pain.

I love you so damn much Koda..

Today I am feeling very overwhelmed. Yesterday a car went through the front of the restaurant that I work at. Today Audrey has been very unhappy and fussy, also today I have to put down my beloved dog of 11 years.

I wish I didn't have to deal with all these things all at the same time. I would of been fine if they were spread out over a few weeks. I really hope they can get the restaurant fixed fast so I can go into work Wednesday. Audrey should get better once this tooth comes through, and Koda will be in a better place once he is put to sleep.

I've been at my parents all yesterday and today and I am ready to just go home once all is said and done with Koda. I want to be at home with my boyfriend and to relax in my own home. I can only stand being a my parents house for so long. There is a lot of anger and irritability in this house hold.

Tomorrow is my last day with my dog Koda sadly. I am going to take him on a long walk and take lots of photos of him so I will have lots of photos to look at once he is gone.

It hasn't quite sunk in yet that this is really happening tomorrow. I can't remember a time in my life where I didn't have him. I have had him a very long time it seems. I wish dogs lived longer. I am really going to miss him!

I am staying the night at my parents so I can have a lot of time with koda. I am sitting on the bed in the guest room and koda is laying down on the floor beside me. Koda is such a beautiful dog. He is a German shepherd crossed with a rottweiler. I dont think I will be able to find another dog quite like him.

COMMENTS

-

---

Morganna777
18:27 Mar 14 2016

I am so sorry to read this, but nothing and no one lasts forever...

I have in the past kept some fur, and made an amulet out of it, so that I could keep them with me always... something to think about. I will send you healing love and blessings...



Morganna777

---

POST COMMENT

Next week I am going to have to say goodbye to my dog Koda.. He has been my best friend since I was in 4th grade. I am going to miss him a lot. Koda has been my pal when things were really rough in my life. I could not of asked for a better dog.

Today is my third day of work at the restaurant as a dishwasher. So far everything is going well. The only thing I hate is having to leave Audrey for a few hours. I hate being away from her for long periods of time. Audrey is my sweet heart and the light of my life.

I finally have a job and I am so happy about it! I am feeling so proud of myself for finally finding employment so I can help provide for my baby girl, Audrey. Audrey is the light in my life and I will do what ever it takes to give her the life she deserves. Audrey is growing up so fast and she is always so happy. She rarely has a frown on her face and when she does it's because she isn't getting what she wants *giggles* She is such a little princess and doesn't like being told no.

I don't know what I would do without my boyfriend or daughter. I would be living a completely different life right now if it weren't for them.

I am currently working as a dishwasher for a diner downtown. The staff are all really nice so far and the atmosphere is great. I actually enjoy going to work instead of dreading it, like I did when I was working at McDonald's. That place was not very good for me. There were not many people following the rules or policy's and that really bothered me. I am happy to be at a more structured restaurant now.

Today I got my pro serve, which will allow me to handle alcohol and be a server at a restaurant. I would like to go to school to become a bar tender. I would need my mixology certification to be able to get a job. That is my goal!