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Centered, focused and alert of all that goes on around me. This is how I feel on this hallows eve, the veil is growing thin. The ghouls, ghosts and goblins are waiting in the shadows. The urge to hunt, kill and feed is growing with in me. I am sitting in a candle lit room trying to remain composed and not give in to the animalistic urges. I am feeling content with the chaos that is surrounding me. I feel peace within the chaos. I can feel them creeping closer and closer, daring each other to poke and praud me. They dont dare do it, they know they will unleash my wrath upon them. They do not hold any power over me, I do not fear them like they want me to.

I cannot wait to be unleashed onto the astral plane tonight. I will hunt and kill all those who challenge me. I will feed to my hearts content on the blood and flesh of my rivals. Once I am content I will lay to rest beside my beloved Phillip. I will hold him tight and place his hand upon my face to feel him close. I will stroke the side of his face with my hand ever so gently, sending chills down his spine. Before falling asleep I will whisper into his ear how much I love him and adore him. Phillip is mine, no one else can have him.. If he is to ever leave me, he will rue that day.

I do not know how much longer I can hold on.

I do not know how much longer I can resist the temptation.

I do not know how much longer I can fight the feelings.

I do not know...



He holds me close and whispers "I love you" in my ear. He means what he says and for this I am grateful. For him I hold on, for him I choose to stay. I could not hurt him like that. He has already lost his mother to the demons of suicide, never again.

Suicide is for the weak, and I am feeling weak. I am not the strong woman I used to be. If I were to lose him, I would lose myself. I would crumble even further. I would cave and give in to the demons...

My mind whispers cruel words to me.. These words make me fall onto my hands and knees and weep like no other. I try to ignore the whispers, but I cannot. I cannot push past them.

I need you hun. I need you to keep my head above the clouds of depression. I need you to keep me safe from myself. I need you to save me from myself.

COMMENTS

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LordFangor
18:23 Oct 07 2014

And for a minute I thought you were speaking of peanut butter cups. :)

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