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Since the Pledge of Allegiance

and

The Lord's Prayer

are not allowed in most

public schools anymore

Because the word "God" is mentioned...





Now I sit me down in school

Where praying is against the rule

For this great nation under God

Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,

It violates the Bill of Rights.

And anytime my head I bow

Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,

That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.

The law is specific, the law is precise.

Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall

Might offend someone with no faith at all.

In silence alone we must meditate,

God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,

And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.

They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.

To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,

And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.

It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong,

We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,

Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.

But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,

No word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,

When chaos reigns the school's a mess.

So, Lord, this silent plea I make:

Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Amen

The razor is in my hand

I'm about to break my promises

my promises my friends hold so dear

I will not cut I will go to them for help

But, they wouldn't understand

they wont even try

these tears that I've cried

will just evaporate into the sky

No one will ever know they existed

not even I.

For they have dried up and will not fall again

though this is painful

and it will be hard

I'll listen for that silent sound

the sound of that crystal tear

the sound of the razor's tears

they will fall and be noticed

for the razor's tears aren't clear

they are as dark as the midnight sky

and fall from my bloody teared eyes

These tears of blood hold no remorse,

hold no fears.

I don't want to die by cutting my wrists, so

I'll cut my throat, the blood will squirt

out of my neck and I will slowly sink to the floor

when you look at me dead you will think

oh another poor innocent child

that had to go through to much pain

that she killed herself.

Well, let me tell you right now

I tried to reach out

but everything I tried to grasp

was out of my reach

All my friends, all my lovers.

Even my family seemed too good for me

Even though our family is more messed up than me

My only dieing wish is for Katie to be shown into the light

and to whom ever reads this I hope they will

take her away from those evils

of our parents fighting

I don't think I could live with myself

if Katie takes her own life.

I would die all over again

Please protect her...

People that know my pain

people that remain the same

I've been told by my friends

that I'm only Emo because

I want attention

but it's not true

I've stated before that

I cut myself not to take away pain

but to create pain

to let me know that I am still alive

and that I haven't given in to pain's

evil smile

The grin keeps getting bigger and bigger

and it wont stop it smiles and says

come rid yourself of your pain

come the easy way

but every time I go to take my life

something happens

A death, a new life

a commitment, or a secret

In grade 9 I wanted to kill myself

why may you ask

well you can judge me all you want

you can say oh she's one of those girls

who wants attention and is so spoiled

she doesn't understand true pain

well believe what you want

for when I'm gone we'll see who's correct.

I want to die because of everything

I can't have a decent conversation with

either of my parents anymore

my parents are always fighting

and make me choose a side

it slowly kills me and eats me away inside

every time my father says to me

look I told you your mother is like this

well my question for you is why did you marry her

was it her looks or did you think

you were really in love

let me tell you something

you act as if you were drunk when you got married

and neither one of you believe in getting a divorce

If you think getting a divorce would be bad for us think again

I would be happier if you two got a divorce then I could come home

and breath in some clean tension free air for once

sometimes before I go to bed I think of ways to

kill myself so that when you find me I'll be dead...

...on the outside.

The most clear time I can remember trying to commit suicide

was in Art class I was fed up with my life and I decided

I would run in front of a moving car.

I didn't care who saw me as long as my pain left me to finally die

But as fate would have it some strange boy across from me told me

he liked me WOW

what a wake up call

it made me think

I'm still loved there are people out there who care for me

I don't know if it was fate or God who intervened in my evil plotting

but I'm sort of thankful, but not

you see this guy did say he liked me and at first

I couldn't believe it

A random guy you could say I could never see myself

liking confesses he has feelings for me.

I think the only reason I fell for him is because he saved me

He saved me not once but countless times over.

Until SHE came along

I always knew it was too good to be true

but I couldn't help myself I had to see where it would end

would he show me into the light and open the lid

or would he grab a nail and hammer and shut that lid tight.

I guess it was human interest that led me into the trap

I don't regret I merely wish it had happened a lot smoother

for on the day that I was going officially ask him out

he comes up to me smiling and I can't help but smile at him

but then my smile comes crashing down and beating against my heart

a blade in the stomach couldn't have hurt me more than those four little words

"I have a girlfriend"

I wanted to scream I wanted to cry but I couldn't I'm too rough around the edges.

the tears of my heart I could feel them sweeping over me

In gigantic waves of pain of regret of hate of confusion.

Why didn't he like me, and only me

why did he tell me he liked me if he was going to crush me

If he had any idea what that did to me he would want to kill him too

but I couldn't kill him because there was some light of hope

that he would be single again

And now that time has come

He's back in my life and I don't have any walls,

no protection against my emotions

I've just been kicked in the back by another boy

I can't stand it again.

It's too much pain to cope with as well as my already harnessed pain

dwelling inside of me

I can't compete I'm not as pretty as the other girls he likes

I'm not as thin as the other girls he likes

I'm not as smart as the other girls he likes

I'm not as funny as the other girls he likes

so Why, Why can't I let go of him

is it because he is the first guy who

has ever told me he likes me??

I don't understand, I don't want to understand

because if I understand why I'm feeling this way

it will crush me more when he closes that lid again

I want to move forward I want to bury my pain kept in that jar

I want to be happy but I can't let this one man,

this one obstacle keeps me from my ultimate goal

and that goal is my own death.

I've finally reached my limit

there's nowhere left to go

I have nowhere to turn

nowhere to shelter myself

No one cares if I die

they don't care if I live

I live for no one I die for no one

I feel nothing, I give nothing

I smile but cry on the inside

A smile can be faked

meaning happiness can be faked

So just because I'm smiling

doesn't mean that I'm happy

Happiness is a lie

I know this is true for I myself

am a servant to grief and pain

when people cut themselves

they say it's to take away pain

they're lucky to be able to feel

ANYTHING

as I've said before I'm an empty

shell with a painted on smile

I don't cut myself to get rid of

the pain, I cut myself to create pain

so I know I'm still alive I haven't died

I haven't given in to pain or death

I have a resolve and that is to live

to live on and be happy

even fall in love but that wont

happen in my current state

so I'll believe in something and that

something is GOD

I will turn to him when I'm in need

when I'm in pain when I need someone

to talk to who I know wont use my own

words against me a friend

more than any of my other friends

someone I can trust someone I can love

someone who can love me

for all my faults for all my lies

for all my tears and all my fears

If my one love my one friend

leaves me I wont die but I will

cease to feel again

I wont be saved If I'm let down again

it's happened before it will happen again

fool me once shame on you

fool me twice shame on me

fool me three times and I will die

I will live but I will die inside

you wont see me die you wont

hear me die but I'll know when I've died

for I will smile again but It wont be me

it will be my conscience staying alive

for the people who can feel

for the people who will die

I'll never die I can't die

my pain is too strong to carry on

If I die it will be by my own hands

but........HELP ME!!!!!!!!!

If I remain here today

I will not remain sane

I cannot stand my life as it is

My life is a standstill

through life and death

I wish i could cry

I can't cry because,

it's been beaten into me

Don't cry, crying is for children

you're an adult now so start acting

like one

no more tears no more fears

just get up there with no regrets

I wish i could but I'm still young

I haven't even completed my schooling

You could say i haven't even lived my life yet

it's true I don't want to die but If i do

I will not fear it I will not run away

I will not cry for I'm not allowed

i will be beaten and abused

and even raped but I won't shed a tear

for It shows weakness is what I'm told

I want to cry I really do

but something's holding me back

I don't know what

I feel lost and alone and I don't

know what to do

who to turn to where to run

I want to cry dear God let me cry

but I don't believe in God so he wont hear

my silent cries and pleadings to be finally left alone.

To run and cry away my fears and my tears are there

I can feel them waiting to be let out

but I wont let them leak out

these tears of pain have dried up

and I have yet to see them fall.

I wonder who would miss me,

I wonder who would cry.

I wonder where my stuff would go,

after the day I die.

Will I die young, will I die old,

will someone else kill me.

Or will I die by my own hands?

To set myself free from pain.

They think I'm happy,

though they really don't know,

the pain that rages inside me

these countless things I've tried

If I were to list the numerous times

I tried to die, it would be more

that the fingers on my hands.

I could slit my throat and bleed

to death, or shoot myself right

in the head. I've already gone Emo

there's nothing really left. I'm an

empty shell with a painted on smile.

When I leave will they cry?

When I leave I hope they die.

So they can feel what I felt,

and understand the things I dread.

There's no emotion in my words,

when someone says they love me,

I don't feel it. It passes through my

body like a shiver down my spine

because I know I can't return those

feelings that they hold so dear.

I am an empty shell, I feel nothing,

I say nothing I feel, for I cannot feel

ANYTHING.

I wonder who would miss me

I wonder who would cry

I'm gonna try and stab myself

I wish that I could DIE!

Alone in the middle of blood,

the tears of my friends have dared.

To show their faces and will flood,

the memories that we have shared.



I whisper prayers to be safe,

I hide watching for family.

I see nothing but mothers crying,

I'm whispering to God, help me!



Now as a baby screams non-stop,

she watched her mothers head come off.

The rain will come and feel so hot,

for if I'm not careful I may cough.



Must I stop crying over this pain?

and be brave and stand another day.

For I do reasons to remain,

a living person for that is my way.



I will peer through the lid and hope,

for I have chosen my path.

And there's nothing that will provoke,

me turning around and feeling pains wrath.



Now as a baby screams non-stop,

she watches her mothers head come off.

The rain will come and feel so hot,

for if I'm not careful I may cough.



The dark clouds of dust spread and swarm me,

the fire spreads throughout the village.

Dead surround the homes is what I see,

the enemies come to pillage.



Cries of my people fill my head,

blood that is spilt lays before me.

Warriors that have fought still tread,

and my pain will forever be free.



Now as a baby screams non-stop,

she watched her mothers head come off.

The rain will come and feel so hot,

for if I'm not careful I may cough.