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Please just stop haunting me. I'm trying so hard to forget and it seems just like when I get somewhere with it something happens. I saw you this weekend, with her my replacement... I wish you knew how I felt I stopped breathing, seriously I had a panic attack, what do I do? It's been 10 months since you broke my heart and 7 since I've even seen you, until this weekend. You just walked on by not even looking at me, with her...like I never meant anything ever, I was your first everything and you were mine does that mean anything at all, even just a little? i thought I saw you again the next day, no just someone who I swear could be your twin I stop breathing until I heard his name, safe, it wasn't you. I see her name flashing through my head it burns in every part of me. Is there any way I can let go? How did you just let go and forget me like I'm nothing? Even after you said you still wanted to be friends all you did was hurt me, that's not what friends do. I'm crying again, but you wouldn't even care I suppose you've said it yourself, your cold-hearted and cruel. Remember when you said your sorry and you regret hurting me? Well they why didn't you stop then? Obviously you didn't care. Your the one who said you still wanted to be friends but I just can't. That's why I said goodbye, and it's not because I hate you like you think I do, in truth it's because I love you I have for almost 3 years, even through the times when we haven't been together. I can't stand it. I want to let go, but I keep thinking about you... I have someone new in my life, I care about them, really I do, but it's not the same because I know I still love you... Remember when we talked about the future? I do. The future is still ahead and everyday I pray you'll remember "our future" and things will be like that. i'm choking on tears, maybe I'll drown, it's getting harder to breathe, harder to see the keys I wish you knew... I remember crying and you holding me talkign to me making it ok your haunt me weather awake or asleep in my dreams you feel real, I still remember so well how you smell, your touch, your kisses, the safety, love and warmth I felt when you cuddled me and held me close, I remember... I'm a fake now. I have someone new but I don't love them like I love you, though I do care a lot, I tell them I do. Truth is I still love you... That's what they want to hear, I don't want to hurt them like you hurt me so I don't know what else to do...I become fake. You told me that being your first and you being mine was completely meaningless, that it was nothing, that has killed me the most everyday since is tha true? I only did what I did because I love you... Please get out of my head these are all the things I think, but there's oh so much more. Yet I'll never tell you any of it, these are the things that kill me that i'll never be able to say.





I love you...still...you haunt me