23:06 Jun 23 2025
Times Read: 64
My oldest niece just got out from her second stay in the mental hospital. I know I blame her parents for a lot of it, and I stand hy that, and some of it is genetics, but it's also her friends. And at 13, your friends are extremely important to you. But there's thing among teenage girls, it's called being way too fucking dramatic, and throwing shit around like, "I wanna kill myself, I'm gonna kill myself, look how cool this self-harm is," bullshit. I've heard my niece talking on the phone with her friends, and all of them are fucking like this, like their lives are that fucking bad. And maybe they are, maybe they have problems, maybe they need help. But, and I've tried to explain this to my niece, it ain't her, as a 13 year old, job to help them. Trust me, no body understands better than me having someone in your life you love more than anything, and desperately want to help, but some people you just can't, and if it gets to the point where your own mental health is being put at risk because of them, unfortunately you have to step bback, and take care of yourself. Because you definitely aren't helping anyone if you also go down. Having experienced this exact situation with the love of my life, and yes I still, and always will call him the love of my life because that's what he is, but... I reached a point where I couldn't hold him anymore because it wasn't doing either of us any good. He was hurt, I was hurt, and I just couldn't chase him anymore. I'm not the one who ran away, and I haven't moved since he left, he knows he can reach out at any time. There's a big difference between being the one who left, and being the one who stopped chasing the one who keeps leaving. Sometimes you just have to let go. Friends too. Ask me about Cheshire who mid-conversation like a year ago just stopped responding to me. But ya know, that's how he's always been, he'll be there for several months then he'll completely vaporize. Ever feel like you're the only consistent person in anyone's life? That's me, the only one who's always there for everyone. And that alone does some mental shit to you. My oldest niece is a lot like me, she's extremely compassionate and empathic, and she just wants to help everyone, especially the people she loves, but it's difficult being something that absorbs the darkness, and negativity out of people. Why do you think I enjoy my solitude so much? It's just easier. When I care, I care too much, and it destroys me. It's something I realized not too long ago. How difficult it is to get close to me. Didn't used to be this way.
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