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Yandere's Journal


Yandere's Journal

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14 entries this month
 

07:55 Apr 16 2026
Times Read: 21


Actual insanity...
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Straight up babysitting. And this wasn't even the depths xD
Circle to dodge, motherfuckers.

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08:40 Apr 15 2026
Times Read: 55


When all hope is lost...
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Until you remember, I have a revive, I ain't hear no bell, motherfucker~
I was desperately trying to get frostbite on him, and that fucking arrow attack caught me out. My bad. But it worked out.
Another Raider blocked. Not only did he withhold a talisman that buffs incantations, he also had Ancient Dragons Lightning Spear, and used neither, and was three-barred several times. I just need to stop trying to use lightning, it always ends up pissing me off, every fucking Raider apparently thinks he's gonna be Zeus because why else are these assholes constantly taking my lightning incantations? I could do so much damage, nah, they wanna cast maybe two bolts from their meager FP then shelve it or randomly throw it down somewhere because it's not working for them. Fuck anyone who might actually use it effectively. Just like in another round against Caligo fucking Scholar gets Flame of Frenzy, attempts to use it a couple times, gets slammed trying to use it because, hey, Scholar ain't a fucking caster no matter how much they try to force it, never uses it again, but also doesn't drop it. And then this absolute selfish asshole is pinging the final merchant, wanting me to buy him firebombs. Nah, I'm good with all my Runes, thanks. I'd rather lose with them than help you, fucker. I did have my own Flame of Frenzy at that point so we did win, but still. STILL.

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03:40 Apr 15 2026
Times Read: 87


This is the kinda selfish-ass behavior which causes losses...
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It happens way too frequently. One teammate will drop a dagger literally perfect for me, the other grabs it. Because certainly the character who specializes in daggers, and fire wouldn't want the best dagger in the game which buffs fire attacks. Nah, you're right, Executor, better off with you, I'm good with my base dagger. And we did lose. Not saying it's entirely because of that, but it was close, and maybe that extra firepower would've made the difference. Successive attacks sure didn't keep his ass alive. He's lucky I didn't get Rivers, I would've flaunted that shit in front of him so hard, I am petty like that xD Probably the main reason we lost, Double Balancers Executor didn't get his precious safety sword, and couldn't function without it like every fucking other Executor out there.

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01:02 Apr 14 2026
Times Read: 116


Just no hitting depth 4 ED Gladius~
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Some dodges even I don't know how I make... I brace for impact, and then, I lived, motherfucker xD This is why at higher depths there's nothing slop about Halo Scythe, you can easily get bodied spamming the ring, but it takes skill to dodge perfectly, take no hits, and save the run for your three-bars. To be fair, I had a revive, and I think Guardian did too if I went down so I wasn't overly concerned.
And then I met one of the worst Raiders I've ever encountered. Actually that next round with said Raider I was also teamed up with one of these fellas from this Gladius round. We were going against depth 4 Darkdrift Knight, weak to Lightning, strong against holy so I have my Lightning incant build on. On our way to our literal first POI we're passing by a little shack with a seal box that will drop 2-3 incantation seals. Perfect for someone whose whole build revolves around incantations. As I run up to it, so does Raider, ans he grabs the LIGHTNING SPEAR seal right as it drops. The one thing I want more than anything for my build, Lightning Spear does crazy work with MY build. Nah, he takes it, runs off. Thr passive on it is Improved Lightning Resistance, the secondary incantation on it is a holy spell so it's completely worthless to him. But big dumb idiot saw Lightning, and decided he'd be better doing like 50 damage a strike with it to my 600+. So I tried to shrug it off, since it was right at the beginning of the round I figured maybe I could still find it somewhere else, maybe I'll score in a shop, I didn't want to give up especially since my other teammate was completely innocent to the situation, and they'd been pretty solid in the other round we played in. The very next place we run to is a Cathedral, and Cathedrals always have a seal box so I immediately book it there. And here comes the motherfucking Raider on my ass. I open the seal box, he immediately grabs the seals, and onceafuckinggain, Ancient Dragons Lightning Strike drops, he takes it. Oh, but not for himself this time. He runs over to the Executor, drops it at their feet, and pings it FOR THEM. Because it has like +5% skill attack power as the passive for their Double Balancers bullshit. Yeah, you're right, that completely menial tiny bit of added damage for them is completely worth more than me being able to run my whole-ass Lightning build, against a boss who's weak to Lightning, at all. He obviously looked at the Executor's build to know to give him skill attack boosts, but apparently just fuck my whole Lightning thing I had going, no body needs the caster to have Lightning against a boss who's main weakness is Lightning, that's just insanity. Clearly, because I'm Duchess, I should know my place is tickling things for 75 a hit with my dagger, no body needs me doing damage in the hundreds or thousands, it's ridiculous I would even try, who do I think I am? Seriously, how do you get to depth 4 or 5 with this kinda selfish asshole behavior... And this was after I'd already revived the both of them when theu died to like the first enemy that attacked them. So I left. And I felt bad for my other teammate, but the hostility was already there, there was no way I was going to do anything whatsoever the rest of the round to help that Raider, and if I'd stayed it would only lead to me griefing his dumb ass so better I leave. I've already been to depth 5, there is no 6, 5 is as deep as it goes so at this point I'm in the depths for fun, losing points means nothing to me, and being the cause for selfish assholes to rage, and lose points is pretty satisfying. People still act like this in depth 4, and winder why they still haven't been to the top... I don't know how you can be so oblivious or if you genuinely just lack most basic intelligence.

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07:05 Apr 13 2026
Times Read: 156


Got a depth 4 mystery boss so I figured, hey, I'll equip my fire build since it's my most powerful. The smarter thing, and what I normally do for mystery bosses, is use magic because it's effective, while maybe not as powerful as fire, across everything while there are three big bosses who are highly resistant to fire. Very early in the round I get the Flame of Frenzy so I figure fate is on my side. It's not until we're fighting the night 1 boss that I realize, oh fuck, it's gonna be the three-headed FIRE wolf who's highly resistant to FIRE, and weak to holy.
Yeah. I chose wrong. The most wrong you could be wrong. Couldn't have chosen a more wrong build to fight Gladius.
But. In it's great mercy... the game gifts me an Erdtree Seal with two holy incantations,
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Elden Stars being the best in game. Fucking saved. And thankfully it was basic Gladius, not the advanced version. And while my fire build is built around firepower, it also generally buffs all incantations since it swaps Duchess' Intelligence for Faith. I've actually been seeing Elden Stars come up quite a bit lately. Had a run with it earlier against Libra. Also had Halo Scythe. Should've been an easy win, but the Wylder, and Executor on the team refused to help each other. The Executor had spent most of the round off by themselves, dying, so I knew pretty early on we were doomed. Shame since I had such great equipment. We got him down to about 25% health, and I was three-barred from trying to revive both of them since they wouldn't help each other. And the thing about fighting base Libra is that the longer he's alive, the worse he gets so if you're not all working together consistently to do damage to him, you may as well give up cause he's just gonna keep transitioning into his buffed up phase where he gets nearly impossible to kill. It's like I had a round with someone named LoneWolfAlphawhateverthefuck, and of course they spent most of the round doing their own thing. And ya know... it's not very alpha to die alone repeatedly because you refuse to work with your team. And if you don't want to work with a team... why not play solo? Why are you here? That's the thing, huh, you don't want to play with other people, but you're not good enough to win by yourself, you need the carry... Wow, so "alpha"🙄
Personally, I think an alpha should stick with their team like family. Help take care of them, make sure they have what they need, do their best to keep everyone alive and going. An alpha doesn't abandon their pack. But I'm just a little bunny, what do I know?

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13:05 Apr 12 2026
Times Read: 195


A lesson in not being an asshole to your teammates because... you never know when they might have something you want.
In a round with Wylder and Ironeye. Just finished castle basement, Ironeye walks over to me, drops a dagger beside me. While I stop to look at it, Wylder walks over, immediately grabs it from me. So I look in his inventory, and I'm tilted... because this dagger was a massive improvement to the one I was using, had damage negation at full hp, and most importantly it reduced the amount of mana I'd use for spells. Kind of important when my mana is limited. So perfect dagger for me, Wylder swiped it. I'm pissed, but I'm not going to throw. Immediately after this incident I go to pick my reward for the castle basement boss. And wouldn't you know it... it's the Marais Executioner Sword. The golden, legendary level greatsword that every Wylder fiends for because not only does it do great damage, but it has the passive ability that it gives you a slight boost to your attack for every little enemy you kill. That can stack up crazy damage especially when you get it early, and we were still in day 1. Normally I'd immediately hand that sword over to the team Wylder to get them good, and buffed to do as much physical damage as possible while I'm slinging spells. But when said Wylder is a huge, selfish asshole... Nah. I'm gonna hold it off-hand so he knows I have it, and hopefully it clicks for him the mistakes he's made in life xD Which I think it did because wouldn't ypu know it, our next stop he dropped that dagger beside me, pinged it for me. Nah uh, fucker, you're not getting MY God sword that easily. He then proceeded to drop me staff after staff after staff over our next few POIs. I don't think he took a single reward for himself the first half of day 2, he just kept dropping stuff for me. So eventually I relinquished the sword to him, after I felt he'd paid enough for his crime, which he took immediately, and set off to grind out as many kills as possible. And we won. And that's one of many reasons why you should be kind to your teammates. Sure, you need to make you have what you need, but if it means taking away something that's better for someone else... just don't. It happened with a Reclise earlier. They dropped me a talisman that buffs incantations. Recluse is technically better with incants than Duchess, and we both had the Flame of Frenzy, but they saw my fire incantation build, and gave it to me. So later in the game when I had the opportunity to score them a staff with Stars of Ruin, I grabbed it for them. That's being an effective team. When everyone is only worried about themselves... that usually leads to a loss. I'm finding Recluse players much more tolerable lately than Revenants. Had a round where a Revenant took us across the fucking map to every cathedral looking for seals, cared only about what they needed, and then they hey a Halo Scythe, knowing I've been looking for one, and will do massive damage with it, nah they keep it. That, however, is not what led to me throwing, and losing 500 points xD What really set me off was I was running out of one of these numerous cathedrals, and I see her fighting off a dire wolf so I stop to help. As soon as this wolf aggros onto me, she fucking runs away, leaving me to fight it by myself even though it was only attacking me because I stopped to HELP HER. Like... no. Take my points. Take them all, send me to depth one cauae fuck that. I dropped all my gear, found a nice place to sit my character down, and listened to the sweet sound of them dying, and aggressively pinging over, and over. Sorry, Duchess doesn't help selfish assholes, good luck with Libra, bitches.

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09:16 Apr 11 2026
Times Read: 230


I have fully descended to depth 5...
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A beautiful depth 5 ED Gaping round where I took not a SINGLE hit. I'd been in several depth 5 rounds while in 4, but finally I fully reached it.
Briefly xD
It was short-lived because my next round, my first actually in 5, somebody pissed me off. The moment this particular Revenant sealed their fate...
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When you're fighting Libra, you get the chance to make a deal with him before the fight begins. It's polite to wait til everyone gets the opportunity to browse his deals, and decide whether they want one or not because some are very helpful against him. But if you rush over, and start hitting him, he'll aggro immediately. For whatever reason, I was like five seconds later loading into the final fight so they're standing by Libra already, and as I run over, bam, fucking Revenant starts hitting him before I can talk to him. Total asshole move. And if you're gonna be an asshole... maybe don't be the first to die, probably shouldn't die at all really cause if you're gonna be a shitty teammate, I'm just not gonna treat you like a teammate at all. I'm not gonna risk my life, and resources for some selfish bitch who can't wait 10 seconds. If you're that amped to go, fucking go, do it yourself. But no. You died immediately. People in depth 5 are supposed to be the best of the best... This Revenant must've been hard carried. Libra is weak to fire, holy, and madness, any you could surely find. And they were using Lightning xD Like... first day on the job, sweetie? I don't think you belong here, and no amount of points is worth re-enforcing your bad behavior. I actually only lost 50 points for my little stunt. After I refused to revive the Revenant, they just completely stopped playing after Wylder revived them so Wylder left, and after making sure the Revenant died again, I also left. That's the drag about the depths. Usually a win will get you 200-300 points, but a loss will cost you up to 600. You lose less the further you get, and and a lot less if someone leaves so that's why it only cost me 50 to stick it to that dumbass. The fact that they're named Bruce Wayne is just insult to injury xD

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12:04 Apr 10 2026
Times Read: 263


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One of the greatest rounds of all time... because holy shit was it a clusterfuck xD
I dunno if there was some kinda major lag or network issue, but as soon as we landed I noticed neither of my teammates were moving. So I take off, head to a Cathedral, then a flask, and they're still not moving. Usually this means you're all three about to be disconnected due to a network error. Wylder is the first to drop, followed by Ironeye so I'm waiting to also be disconnected. Doesn't happen. Suddenly, Ironeye rejoins, and pings a field boss nearby. I head there, it's a pretty easy boss, and Ironeye joins me. But then he drops again, and I'm fighting alone. I kill it just as he rejoins again. I'm headed for another field boss after seeing castle basement boss is too much for me to handle on my own. Ironeye follows, disconnects again. And this is pretty much how it goes through the whole game, for whatever reason he keeps getting kicked, but he always comes back. I considered abandoning the run, but... you lose points if you lose or leave, but... what if you just don't lose? Come on, Aiyana, you think you're so good, you should be able to solo a depth 3 boss. Because, you know, I antagonize myself more than anyone xD And if I didn't win, oh well, it's better to try, and lose rather than just give up because there's always a chance... Despite Ironeye disconnecting about 10 times, we managed to get through all of castle, and the game showed me tremendous mercy by giving me Rivers, and Ancient Death Rancor, AND the rotted forest cure was right at the entrance which was insanely lucky for us because we were running into forest as the rain was closing in, and the cure easily could've been on the other side which would have completely screwed us, but... the game was on our side. Unfortunately, my staff...
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Had a pretty awful negative effect attached to it, poison build-up when below max HP. Basically means anytime you're not at 100% HP, you're gonna get poisoned, and we'd only gotten one extra flask because we were so focused on castle so health was a bit of a precious resource with only 5 flasks, usually you have 7 or 8. Otherwise, definitely a god staff especially going against Gaping who you want the range with. It did turn out to be ED Gaping because that's how it works in the depths, you don't know if a boss is the standard version or the advanced version until you get to the arena. Sometimes you actually get mystery bosses, you don't know who you're fighting at all til you get there. Had a round like that right before this one, and for mystery bosses I always go magic build because magic is decent damage across all enemies, and none are particularly resistant to it. The boss turned out to be ED Caligo, and I was really kicking myself when I realized it because I had the fucking Flame of Frenzy in my hand, and I DROPPED it for a staff for a staff with ice spells. Thankfully, I had Stars of Ruin so we still won, but I was pretty pissed when I realized I'd dropped the best fire spell in the game for ice... against an ice dragon xD But rounds like these where things aren't perfect, they're more fun, they show what you're made of, they force you to beat entire bosses with weapons equivalent to a rubber band, and a paperclip xD
I will say, the Ironeye's name being NoHaloScythePls... Look, I agree that Double Balancers Halo Scythe build in base game is too much, it makes everything boring watching one person do massive damage, you don't need it in base game, and the people using it in base game are just trying to flex on newer players who don't know any better, they want people to be amazed at how much damage they're doing when... anyone can do it. Halo Scythe is brainless work in base game. But in the depths where things are killing you in one hit, and you need to kill them as quickly as possible... I think it's a totally fair build. I had my magic build on for this round, but I do have a Halo build, and I do use it for holy weak bosses, and I think this kinda attitude towards that fucking sucks, and makes me want to block them despite everything we went through. Don't tell me how to fucking play.

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01:00 Apr 10 2026
Times Read: 282


I'm trying to do for lightning what I've done for fire...
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The issue is, fire is super easy to find. Even if I don't get Flame of Frenzy, even the weaker fire incantations are still fairly effective. With lightning it's pretty much get Lightning Spear or get wrecked. There are other lightning incantations, but they're so garbage they're not even worth using if you do get them, which you still probably won't. Lightning just isn't as powerful or reliable as fire which is a major balance issue, and that sucks because I like to have variety. Someone mentioned how greedy Duchess players are in game, and I'm like, yeah... we have to be because literally everything we get, someone else wants. Cool staff? Recluse wants it. Awesome seal? Revenant will throw if you don't immediately hand it to them. Rivers of Blood? Executor is gonna leave if they see you using it. Neat skill weapon? Wylder will take that. Don't you dare use a bow with an Ironeye on the team. Even fist weapons like Grafted Dragon, Raider gonna be super butthurt if you don't hand it over. So then we have Halo Scythe build, it's perfect, it's made for Duchess, and there are now people leaving games if they see Duchess with a Halo Scythe because, "I'm not playing with 'Halo Slop' Duchess, they just destroy everything." Uh huh... but it's definitely not the same thing with Rivers Executor or Beast Claw Revenant, right? You just can't do Duchess right, everything you do pisses someone off, you're either not doing enough or you're doing too much, and everything you get should immediately be turned over to anyone else or you're just greedy🙄

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04:12 Apr 08 2026
Times Read: 315


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Now why can't I ever get drops like this with my holy build? The incantation rates are so imbalanced because there are about a million fire incantations, many lightning, and like... three holy. Triple is so good, but so rare, and forget finding Elden Stars.

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08:22 Apr 04 2026
Times Read: 376


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And now I'm starting to feel like a proper mage🖤
Being a caster in anything is a funny thing. You start so weak, dying constantly to pretty much everything with only one, maybe two very minor spells at your disposal. Then suddenly in one instant you're the most powerful creature in the entire Universe xD There is no in-between
And that's when you go back, and slaughter every little motherfucker who dared to insta-kill you with a single POKE while you were level fucking 2. You launch overpowered full moons straight at their heads just watch them attempt to flee. You set them all on fire, and you laugh while you do it. Or maybe that's just me~

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15:45 Apr 03 2026
Times Read: 411


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Depth 4, advanced Valkyries, both my teammates take Less Likely to be Targeted, and I take not a single hit, not a single scratch, use not a single flask~
I just loooove being forced to be the bait because my hack teammates can't dodge or handle aggro🙄
I get it if you're a caster because casting leaves you extremely vulnerable. But if you're one of the melee big boys, I'm looking at YOU fucking Wylder, it's literally your job to handle aggro, and putting it all on me makes you a fucking pussy. I did consider dragging the worm over right on top of them, but getting them instantly killed wouldn't help anything especially since the Revenant had already died, somehow, while the damn thing was chasing me.
It's something I notice in the depths, a lot of people take Less Likely. The game offers it to me quite frequently, and my thought is always, "If you take this, your team will die." No one else seems to care if they put everyone else at risk above themselves, until you're dead, and they no longer have their meat shield, and they can't pull off a single revive because they can't handle aggro.
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I played a round with my nephew a couple days ago. We were with a random Guardian. You can't directly communicate in game via text or VC so you have these emotes, and some of them have vocal triggers. We're standing in the Night 1 circle, waiting for the boss, and the Guardian walks up to my nephew, and gives him the, "You're Beautiful," emote xD And I'm like, now there's something to tell your girlfriend, you got flirted with by a birdman in your video game. This Guardian then sticks to my nephew's ass the rest of the game, he really had a thing for him which my nephew was less than pleased about, but hey... it's good a have a Guardian have your back. During the final boss fight they're both eventually three-barred.

Me: Ok, so I'm gonna need you to crawl over to him, and get on top of him.
Nephew: Hell no.
Me: It's the only way I can revive the both of you at the same time, you have to be on top of him.
Nephew: I'm not doing that.
Me: It's the only way!
Nephew: The man called me beautiful.
Me: It's a compliment, mount him xD

So he finally crawls over to him, and the stupid fucking Guardian crawls away before I can get into position to revive. Like, what the Hell, dude, are you into it or not xD I vouched for you, I told my nephew not to knock a good Sugar Daddy, and THIS is how you repay me xD

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05:28 Apr 03 2026
Times Read: 439


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You knew he was gonna show up towards the end, and save everyone like always.
Maybe not directly... but close enough~
I think they codenamed him "Alpha" just for me💗

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01:01 Apr 02 2026
Times Read: 474


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I feel you, Leon.
I feel that in my soul.
Then you realize it's not up to you to save people. People gotta save themselves.
That bike chase though... Only Chris could pull that off, let's be real~

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