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POEM (By Jorge Conesa)



Sleep Paralysis



Sleep of day

Sleep of tender

Sleep of me-wolves

Who surrender

To fragments of unimaginable fright.



Sleep of Autumn

Sleep of winded leaves

Sleep of Berserkers drinking

With the me-sages

Pissing moon milk

For others to go mad.



Sleep of tossing

Sleep of flying

Sleep of disappearance

From this world

In the fangs of the shaman of Oblieng.



Sleep of instinct

Sleep without rules

Sleep otherworldly

Sleep of death

Sleep of being awake inside the chambers of one's heart.



Sleep feline

Sleep ancient

Sleep temple

Sleep jade

Like the Olmecs wore jade with jaguar faces.



Sleep of once-a-month

During the new moon

When the owls are silent

When the wind implodes

When the soil goes insane

When the trees carve themselves a grave in my chest.



Sleep of all sleepers

In my head

All whispering at the same time

Their nonsense of yesteryears

Prisoners of their own beds.

Sleep of frozen waters

Sleep of walking alone

In the steppes

With the Olmecs

In Oblieng

With fox-fur sandals

Drinking moon milk

Devouring owls

Being a corpse

Enduring this short death.

Sleep not.

Here I am, Up again,

Unwilling, Willing, Unwilling, Willing...

Willing to sleep, Unwilling to be taken over,

Willing to rest, Unwilling to be frightened,

Not sure what to do.

It's better to be Unwilling, Unwilling but Safe,

Than to be Willing, Willing yet chased.

I do not wish to close my eyes for too long you see,

Because otherwise the fear and darkness consumes me.

Sometimes I tire and it'll happen even with them open,

My weakness, lowering my gaurd, has allowed this to happen.

It's too late! too late...

that is true too late for you and time for me because you dont deserve this life i do you are mine for the taking i do as i please because without your body there is no me

Eyes Shut,

Then the Darkness closes in...

Body Restrained,

Paralyzed, unable to defend...

I E E E I N S O F .

F E L I R P G I M .

T C I N D E E .

(I feel it creeping inside of me...)

I can't move,

I can't speak,

I can't see, except from outside of me.

I hear my world until it slips.... ~a w a y . . .

Then I am pushed out of my shell where I used to live life in secure blinded happiness, forced to see the real, behind the projection, __scared__

And DESPERATELY

Float

I around

for help with want to return....

scared that I won't......

P A N I C !!!! !!! !!!

!! !! !! !!!!!! !

MILOVE I NEED YOU I CAN'T BE TAKEN AWAY I MUST COME BACK I NEED YOU I LOVE YOU SAVE ME please.... WITHOUT YOU ILL DIE ... .. ... . . .

Eyes Open, can feel Realeased.

I can Move! GREAT ---Relief--- !!!!!!!

...scared it will happen again and i may not come back don't think about it you're fine, everything is okay. don't over dramatize. it isn't real how could it be? it feels real, i think it is, don't dwell on it. it won't beat me, i'll beat it. i must.

All I can do is try to live. And I will. And I'll win. I must. Or else... where will I be?





forever lost in agony