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When I look at the moon I always think of you and the care you have shown me, but at the same time it makes my heart hurt because I have hurt you and you will remind me how I hurt you until it is forgotten. I know it will and until that moment I will take the punishment of my mistake because that is how much you mean to me. Even with this I know you still care for me but the is a wrinkle, a wound that will take time to heal and mend.

I don’t even know what to write because I feel like I’m going to stop breathing. I feel I have lost the most important person in my life because I have not gotten a response back from this person since yesterday. I texted at the end of the night every two hours hoping to hear something and nothing.

COMMENTS

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NLW
06:13 Sep 11 2018

I went through this. I was lucky and still ended up being connected to him, and now it's 5 years later. But I didn't hear anything for 21 days. 21 days! I had assumed it was over. And usually it is long before that much time has passed. If your person doesn't come back, I hope you are able to move on. That experience broke my heart a little, and now I always wonder when the next time will be. Maybe I should have been stronger and said no when he came back, but I couldn't.

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YvonneMarie
07:43 Sep 11 2018

Well he did, but now it’s been almost a week. He hearted my new profile pic on FB yesterday, but it still gets to me when he posts but doesn’t text me back. Saw a pic with this chic that works at the Haunted House with him and my first thought is always “fuck”. I do know that if he posts and doesnt do anything with peoples comments he is busy.

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Have you ever done something that hurt a friends feelings not meaning to but you know that they will never see it that way, but they are still friends with you but that that topic will always haunt you to the point that they don’t truly believe your opinion anymore. They don’t say it, but you can tell when they joke with you about it but you know that there is a part of them that doesn’t.

Life is a mess, life is messy. I find myself trying to hard to be known and when I do that it never works. It’s hard to live with an opposite. It’s hard when you want to know that people/friends care about you especially when your in front of them they say nothing (except one). I have come back to a desert, where I am dry and cracking. I want to be around my kind but people have proven that they don’t truly want to be around me.

I have one that cares but that person that walks in the darkness as I do is so far away. I have learned much, but not being in his shadow is as if I am being starved. I feel the caring he has for me and it makes me hurt when I am with one that is so different and we walk two different paths that I find myself alone with another.