I close my eyes,
I see your smiling face.
I open them,
You're not here.
I sigh and start to cry,
Wishing you were here with me.
I look up at the moon,
Wondering why I'm feeling these,
Feelings,
It's so confusing,
I've never experienced them before,
And now suddenly I'm lonely,
Depressed your not here,
Afraid,
Jealous,
And a bit mad you left and others
Can see your wonderful smile everyday
When I can't.
As I stare at the moon,
I get a slow comprehension on why
I have these feelings.
I'm deeply in love,
And it's the only explanation for them,
Not a mere friendship love,
Not a mere being in love,
No,
A feeling that is much stronger,
Much harder to handle,
And much more over whelming than any other,
Being madly,
Irrevocably,
And unequivocally
In love with you,
Kalona.
These Feelings,
All of them,
Are for you.
Tears flooding my eyes,
Looking down all the time,
Wanting to be held,
So lonely.
I miss you,
I scream into my pillow,
Crying my eyes out,
My eyes hurt,
My head hurts,
From crying so much,
But I can't stop,
I want you here,
And yet you're not.
I cry every night,
I cry myself to sleep,
I wake up crying,
I go through the day crying
Off and on.
I miss you so much,
It's starting to hurt me more and more,
No matter what I think about,
You always come back into my head,
I can't keep this up forever,
I hope you come back soon.
I look at the clock,
Once again,
It's another days end.
this time it's been almost a week,
It's day six,
And now I know,
You won't be back for another
Six weeks.
The end of the day marks
The next day we have been apart,
This is only,
Day Six.
I wake up,
Look around,
You're still gone.
I look at the clock,
Only three hours of sleep,
I get up and sigh,
Close my eyes and cry your
Name softly into them.
I see you so clearly,
As if you were here,
I know you're not,
But I remember your smile,
Laugh,
Voice,
Whisper,
Breathing,
And your heart beat.
All of them still so vivid in my
Head,
Making me miss you more.
I go through the day,
Lonely,
Depressed,
And scared.
I hug myself as I lay down
For the night and watch the clock,
It's the end of Day three and
Yet it hurt more today,
Than it had yesterday.
And now ends,
Day three.
Sitting up,
Looking around,
Realizing he's still gone.
I look down at my stuffed bear,
The one he got me before he
Left.
I glance at the clock,
I only slept for 4 hours,
I glance at the door,
Eyes already full of tears,
Yet I know it's only been a little
Over a full day,
Yet it hurts so much more,
Day by day,
The pain gets a bit worse,
Will I be able to deal
With this for the weeks to come?
I miss him,
I want to be in his arms again,
I want him to whisper in my ear,
I want him to kiss me like he always did,
Yet he can't.
He's miles away,
And can't just get out of bed
And give me a hug or kiss.
Waking up without him,
Living in a different place from him,
So many miles away,
All I feel is pain.
I watch the phone,
Waiting for his call,
Not able to stop the tears,
The only times I hear his voice
Are in the short phone calls I get
Once in a while.
This is only Day two and
I'm already feeling so alone.
As I watch the clock,
I notice that the time is going
Too slow,
That Day two is almost
At a close.
On this day it hurts more than
Before,
But it's only
Day Two.
I watch the door,
I watch the clock,
I watch the date,
Waiting for the day I'll
Be in his arms again.
My chest clenches,
It hurts,
He's not here yet,
It's only been one day.
My eyes burn,
Tears starting to form,
They burn as they slide down,
Day one going slowly.
I hugged my stuffed bear he got me,
Cuddle with his pillow,
Spray his cologne on my neck,
I feel as though he's holding,
As I remember his smell,
Day one nearing it's end.
I make a bed on the couch,
Spray a little of his cologne so
It's like he's surrounding me,
As if his arms are around me,
Day one has come to a close,
But the time apart has only
Just begun,
On day one.
The words form,
They stop at my tounge.
The tears form,
They don't fall.
I look away,
Ashamed at myself,
Knowing I've done it again,
Knowing that this time may be it.
Knowing that I might not get
Another chance,
But the words form,
And when they stop I swallow,
I take a deep breath,
Close my eyes,
And whisper very softly,
The three words I mean,
The three words that could condem me
For life,
The three words that come from my heart,
These three words are meant for only
You,
These three words that prefer to stop
But i force them out,
Knowing you're the only one i can
Truthfully say them to,
These three words are,
"I love you."
And now they are out,
They can no longer stop,
They can no longer cause me pain,
For now I know that the one they were
Meant for,
Are you.
I stare at the moon,
Eyes glistening,
Brimming with tears.
I close my eyes,
Bow my head,
And clasp my hands together
As tight as I can,
And I pray,
"Oh beautiful moon goddess,
I know I'm not perfect,
I know I mess up,
But please hear my wish.
I wish me and him can be
Together as we once were,
Have a future together,
Trust in each other,
And above all else,
Listen to each other.
Oh, moon goddess,
Please grant me this
One wish.
This wish of love,
This wish of happiness,
This wish full of hope.
Oh beautiful
Moon goddess,
The goddess of fate,
Love,
And life."
As I finish my prayer,
A single tear escapes the corner
Of my eye,
It slowly and silently
Slides down my cheek.
Body shaking,
Heart throbbing,
I slowly open my eyes and look back
At the moon,
I stare at the beautiful circle,
Hoping,
Praying,
Wishing,
That this one wish is granted,
This sorrowful,
Slightly hopeful,
Moon Wish.
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