The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

22:53 May 27 2008
Times Read: 646

Garfield on the oil crisis



A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country.

~~~

Well, there's a very simple answer.

~~~

Nobody bothered to check the oil.

~~~

We just didn't know we were getting low.

~~~

The reason for that is purely geographical.

~~~

Our OIL is located in :

~~~

ALASKA

~~~

California

~~~

Coastal Florida

~~~

Coastal Louisiana

~~~

Wyoming

~~~

Utah



~~~



Kansas

~~~



Oklahoma

~~~

Pennsylvania

and

Texas

~~~

Our dipsticks are located in DC



Any Questions? NO?...Didn't think So.

19:30 May 21 2008
Times Read: 657

Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves,

you're going to smile when you think of this:



A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.



'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked.



'No, I don't,' she replied.



'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.'



She didn't crack a smile.



'Oh, well. I tried,' he thought.



But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.





'What's so funny?' he asked





'I was just imagining how condoms are made!'



You have got to watch those little old ladies!

Their minds are always working!

Vatican: It's OK to believe in aliens
17:12 May 14 2008
Times Read: 676




updated 12:57 p.m. PT, Tues., May. 13, 2008



VATICAN CITY - The Vatican's chief astronomer says that believing in aliens does not contradict faith in God.



The Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes, the Jesuit director of the Vatican Observatory, said that the vastness of the universe means it is possible there could be other forms of life outside Earth, even intelligent ones.



In an interview published Tuesday by Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano, Funes said that such a notion "doesn't contradict our faith" because aliens would still be God's creatures.





http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24598508/?GT1=43001





Wow..................

16:46 May 14 2008
Times Read: 677

21:01 May 09 2008
Times Read: 684

PISCES- The Dreamer (Feb 19 - Mar 20) Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative.May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don ' t like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish.

We all Need a Tree like this!
17:53 May 08 2008
Times Read: 696






Hope this does not offend............







I hired a plumber to help me restore an old farmhouse, and after

he had just finished a rough first day on the job: a flat tire made

him lose an hour of work, his electric drill quit and his ancient one

ton truck refused to start.

While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. On arriving, he

invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door,

he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches

with both hands.

When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation..

His face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children

and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my

curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him

do earlier.



'Oh, that's my trouble tree,' he replied 'I know I can't help

having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, those troubles

don't belong in the house with my wife and the children.. So I just



hang them up on the tree every night when I come home and ask God to

take care of them. Then in the morning I pick them up again.' 'Funny



thing is,' he smiled,' when I come out in the morning to pick 'em up,

there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before.'

For my dear friends.
16:50 May 05 2008
Times Read: 704