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3 entries this month
I'm being Burried...
01:09 Jun 24 2007
Times Read: 555
In today's world it is tired to be reminded over and over again you're going to die. I'm tired of the first thing my mom says over dinner is todays murder stories...I hate how every song my mom play at home is about love, death, or a combination of the two. Sometimes its so much easier to put off the thoughts about dying...usually telling myself I'm too young to let myself be bothered by it, but with my luck right after I've calmed myself down...here comes my mother with the next story "Some lady was found dead here at this time..and what makes it sad is she's pregnant..."
I'm so tired of this...I want a day where I don't have to think about death...where I can actually spend a day being thankful that I'm alive and not pondering over death and my fear of the unknown...
I could write an essay....but I won't...
Not right now...I need to get away...
Wow...days can be hectic...08:17 Jun 16 2007
Times Read: 560
So today has been one of the most hectic, crazy days in my life...starting with everything that went on with Zakk today that I will not go into...to my car breaking down...to Sam (my boyfriend) having to go with to take Zakk home 9 hours away, shortening our time together because i leave tomorrow for Arizona...
Basically its just been a hectic day....in short...without details of the above...
So i'm spending the next week and a half in Arizona visiting my aunt and cousins...but I WILL STILL BE ON EVERYDAY ABOUT AS MUCH AS I AM NOW...so please feel free to still message me...and such....love you all!!!
~Cassandra (Darkpsyvamp)
It's been awhile...
01:28 Jun 15 2007
Times Read: 568
So its been a while since I last wrote in here, but that's ok...
Wow...so it's hit me...
We grow up wanting to be all grown up...but as you grow up, it seems you really do have times when you wish you were younger...maybe not young but younger...
There are days when i want to go back and be so young that the world is a wonderful place to live...days are filled with polly pockets, tea parties, animal surprises (they were stuffed animals with babys that popped out of places)...days without war, death, poverty, abuse, etc.
There are days when i'm glad I'm older...i can make my own choices, fall in love, stay out late, have friends who actually are not back stabbing bitches, you learn guys don't have cooties and CAN make the best of friends....
Then there are the days i want to be just a little younger...where the only thing you had to worry about was going to school and getting through the day...you didnt have to worry about where you're next meal was coming from because you make minimum wage and your mother doesnt feed you anymore...and you have other things you have to pay for even though she says she pays for them...i want to still have company, farmerettes, and school, and know i will still see my friends...
I miss seeing my friends, competitions, dancing until i'm so worn out all i can think about is sleep, not having to make hard decisions that effect the rest of your life...
But i'm SUPPOSIVELY a grown up now...i have to make my own decisions, and start finding ways for me to make it on my own...the world IS a war zone, filled with betrayal and war...death and torture...abuse....there is love in the world but these days its easier to find a good horror story than a good happy story...
and this is sad...
i'm going to go think some more to myself...i'll talk to you all laterz....
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