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I would have told you I love you

if we hadn’t been saying goodbye

With the end always a breath away

it never seemed real to me

like vapors disappearing before my eyes

and even though you’re gone today

there’s a ghost lurking within my mind



I wanted you to know me

to make sense of a heart gone wrong

I wanted you to need me like I needed you

and to wash away the sins of thought and deed

You were too perfect to grasp

and too wonderful to touch

but now that you’re gone

all I have are memories fading

and a ghost walking withing my mind



It’s only now that you haunt me

on quiet, lonely nights

when the wind carries your name into my ears

leaving me adrift in a sea of regret and remorse

I can’t face who I am

much less what I’ve become

Just a wounded soul living in an broken heart

walking these empty halls

hoping to catch a glimpse

of the ghost stalking within my mind

Standing alone under an evening sky

watching the world spin by me

I see the faces of those lost souls

dancing in the winds of change

and pouring through the sands of time



No one sees me standing there alone

Turning away when I don't dance to the beat

or march to the drums of a thousand fools

They pretend I'm not there

whispering about me as if I couldn't hear

just a piece of broken glass

a part of the scenery

simply waiting to be thrown away



But there I stand

all alone to tomorrow

quietly challenging the song around me

by refusing to sing/dance along

Instead watching as empty hearts walk along

looking past the invisible child

just standing there

waiting for the rain



And it's there I'll stand in a thousand years

long after the dance has carried the fools away

even after my body has given in to the grip of time

my place will remain unchanged



For I am the outcast

the one who refused the dance of a thousand fools

forced to suffer the wind and the rain

and stand transparent to the world around me

But the only one to remain

when the music stops and time marches on

grinding the dancers into dust

and scattering their memory to the winds of change



Though I'm left to an empty world

you'll never see tears in my eyes

I'll raise my glass with the other invisible souls

as we watch the last sand in the hourglass of time

trickle through to the bottom

winding down the universe

letting us know our work is done

and that the ageless can now age no more

Somewhere near the shores of dreaming

overlooking the cliffs of humanity

there is a spot where the rocks jut skyward

and the seas of pleasure and pain meet

before crashing into the pillar of rocks

Though the sun is always shining bright

and the view is forever perfectly clear

there is nothing but confusion and chaos

upon this column of jagged rocks



This is where our hearts are forged

where our very souls are cast and made

But most of all, it is where we all return

on those endless nights when we're searching

searching for something more



Each and every one of us has been here

though none of us have seen this place

We've all stood upon that mighty cliff

and stared longingly into space

We dream of Gods and demons

we dream of memories gone by

we inhale the salty scent of love and heartache

as the seas of agony an extacy mingle at our feet



We all know this place exists

we feel it in the pit of our being

We know the loneliess found atop of the cliff

and the frustration of never seeing enough

We've all leaned forward that one hair too far

and screamed as we were grabbed by the sea beneath us

where we get tossed and turned

just another lost soul trying to swim for shore

while drowning in ourself



But it's there on the shores of dreaming

as wet, naked and battered souls

we finally gain the wisdom we sought

As we cough up the last drops of misery

we see the miracle in life it self

Overwhelmed, we start dancing

skipping down the black sandy beach of dreaming

singing a song, flinging the notes at the air



Maybe we're laughing at rain

or crying to the four winds

but at least we're free from that jagged cliff

at least until we come searching

searching again for something more...once agian.

A dad lives forever

Mine was just as another

He was no savior

But he was alot better

There was a secret about him

He had cancer forever it seemed

His light grew dim

He fought it as much as he could

Docters only could ease the pain

I regret the day i left

At the time i was insane

A friend told me about his death

He gave me so many things

Intangible and dear

I could not count them all

Or even make them clear

Now i have a tankful heart

A heart much like his own

For nothing i can think or write

Is mine and mine alone

I stand here with a broken heart,

Thinking about how i luv'ed you.

Playing a game of darts,

With a photo of who took you.

I thought that we would never part,

What all could i do.

Your luv is true to his heart,

But i should have knew.

That you would break my heart,

In the end you can't hide whats true.

'Cause you lost your luv in that heart.

It's very ancient and mischievous,

It's solitary and sly.

Born of magic older than man,

It cames from heaven in the sky.

I feel it each time our lips touch,

It's your love that came to earth.

I loved you before we meet,

Even before our birth.

It seems as if it was destiny,

That we are now one.

And i feel that our love will last,

In to the shadow of the morning sun.

Edgar Allen Poe





Once upon a midnight dreadry, while I pondered, weak

and weary,

Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a

tapping,

As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber

door.

"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber

door;

Only this, and nothing more."



Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December,

And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon

the floor.

Eagerly I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to borrow

From my books surcease of surrow, sorrow for the lost

Lenore,.

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name

Lenore,

Nameless here forevermore.



And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain

Thrilled me---filled me with fantastic terrors never felt

before;

So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood

repeating,

"'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber

door,

Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door.

This is it, and nothing more."



Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,

"Sir," said I, "or madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;

But the fact is, I was napping, and so gently you came

rapping,

And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my cham-

ber door,

That I scarce was sure I heard you." Here I opened

wide the door;---

Darkness there, and nothing more.



Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, won-

dering, fearing

Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to

dream before;

But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no

token,

And the only word there spoken was the whispered word,

"Lenore?",

This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word,

"Lenore!"

Merely this, and nothing more.



Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me

burning,

Soon again I heard a tapping, something louder than

before,

"Surely," said I, "surely, that is something at my window

lattice.

Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore.

Let my heart be still a moment, and this mystery explore.

'Tis the wind, and nothing more."



Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and

flutter,

In there stepped a stately raven, of the saintly days of

yore.

Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or

stayed he;

But with mien of lord or lady, perched above my cham-

ber door.

Perched upon a bust of Pallas, just above my chamber

door,

Perched, and sat, and nothing more.



Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,

By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it

wore,

"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven thou," I said, "art

sure no craven,

Ghastly, grim, and ancient raven, wandering from the

nightly shore.

Tell me what the lordly name is on the Night's Pluton-

ian shore."

Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."



Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so

plainly,

Though its answer little meaning, little relevancy bore;

For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being

Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his cham-

ber door,

Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his cham-

ber door,

With such name as "Nevermore."



But the raven, sitting lonely on that placid bust, spoke only

That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did

outpour.

Nothing further then he uttered; not a feather then he

fluttered;

Till I scarcely more than muttered,"Other friends have

flown before;

On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown

before."

Then the bird said,"Nevermore."



Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,

"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and

store,

Caught from some unhappy master, whom unmerciful

disaster

Followed fast and followed faster, till his songs one

burden bore,---

Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore

Of "Never---nevermore."



But the raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling,

Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and

bust and door;,

Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking

Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of

yore,

What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous

bird of yore

Meant in croaking, "Nevermore."



Thus I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing

To the fowl, whose fiery eyes now burned into my

bosom's core;

This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease re-

clining

On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplight gloated

o'er,

But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating

o'er

She shall press, ah, nevermore!



Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an

unseen censer

Swung by seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted

floor.

"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee -- by these

angels he hath sent thee

Respite---respite and nepenthe from thy memories of

Lenore!

Quaff, O quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost

Lenore!"

Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"



"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!--prophet still, if bird or

devil!

Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee

here ashore,

Desolate, yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted--

On this home by horror haunted--tell me truly, I implore:

Is there--is there balm in Gilead?--tell me--tell me I im-

plore!"

Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."



"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil--prophet still, if bird or

devil!

By that heaven that bends above us--by that God we

both adore--

Tell this soul with sorrow laden, if, within the distant

Aidenn,

It shall clasp a sainted maiden, whom the angels name

Lenore---

Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels name

Lenore?

Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."



"Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked,

upstarting--

"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Pluton-

ian shore!

Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath

spoken!

Leave my loneliness unbroken! -- quit the bust above

my door!

Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form

from off my door!"

Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."



And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting

On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;

And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is

dreaming.

And the lamplight o'er him streaming throws the shadow

on the floor;

And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on

the floor

Shall be lifted---nevermore!