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I AM TIRED AND BORED AND NOTHING EVER GOOD HAPPENS TO ME ANYMORE. I DON'T EVEN SEE MY MAN AND THAT HURTS. LIFE SUCKS I WISH EVERYTHING WAS GOOD AND NOTHING BAD WOULD EVER HAPPEN BUT THAT IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN CAUSE THIS WORLD SUCKS I WISH THAT I WOULD JUST DIE THEN I WOULD HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT BUT THEN I WOULD NOT HAVE MY MAN UNLESS HE DIED TO BUT NOT GOING TO HAPPEN UNLESS GOD WANTS ME DEAD. BUT AT THIS POINT I COULD CARE LESS IF I WAS DEAD OR ALIVE. WELL LATERS

I can't sleep for some reason. Maybe it is the drugs. Maybe it is my man. or maybe it is the people that i live with who knows. i know that i don't know. These people that i live with are so stupid they steal mine and my mom's stuff all the time cause they think that we a stupid or something and they are driving me insaine and i am about to beat them bloody i would love to see there blood all over the place just to see them in constant pain. I would love to just slice them all up and just watch them bleed to death it would be great.

U know my life has been so rough all through it and it sucks. I grew up with a stepdad that beat the shit out of me for 10yrs, i was put in a foster home because of him for 1yr, then when i got out of there my stepdad left my mom and took my brother and sister from us. I never met my real dad and still haven't but i know where he lives and he don't give to shits about me so fuck him. I was a carney for a yr and that was the shit let me tell you i turned into a lesbian there and then changed my mind about the whole lesbian way when i went home cause all the woman that i knew at that time was bitchs. then i met this guy carey and thaught that i fell in love but i was wrong cause he left me for another bitch but that is alright cause my boyfriend Mike treats me better then any man has ever treated me and treats me like a woman should be treated. I am about to break and go crazy and go off on the wrong mother fucker and all because of stupid shit basically but one of the reason's i am going crazy is because what i want is to spend time alone with my man and i am not getting to and it sucks we have spent no time but two days together in the last 4wks and it sucks cause i can't sleep without him i just hope that it get's better cause we belong together.

i have been up now for three days again after i just went to bed after 6 days and now all i want to do is cry. why u ask, because i want things to go back to the way they were before when me and mike first got together noone fucked with us and now that they are fucking with us we can hardly spend anytime together or see each other and right now all i want is him to be here with me so that we can spend time together without everyone else that is all i want. sometimes it makes me feel like he don't even want to be with me but i know he does i just think like that. all i know is that i never want to lose him at all and it scares me that i will lose him. i just care way to much about him and when i don't see him all i do is cry cause i miss and love him so much. he don't even know how much

The man of my dreams has finally made it to me and he is sticking with me and it is awesome. His name is Mike and he is 30 i never seen myself with him at first but more and more i went around him i started wanting to be with him and come to find out that i loved him. May 21st, 2005 he called me and me and a friend went and got him and he went to the bar with me and when we were at the bar he asked me out and asked me if he could keep me forever and i said yes he made me the happiest and luckiest girl in this world. I have been on cloud 5000000000000000000000000 since then. We get along so good we never fight or argue and that is nice, we have so much in common with each other but then somethings are totally different but that is a good thing cause u never want to be the same. well i just wanted everyone to know that i am so happy and that nothing could fuck this up and i will promise that one cause he is the one for me and nothing is going to stand inbetween me and mike being together cause i am going to stick beside him the whole way. thanks for reading this and i hope that i am not boring anyone i am new at all of this so bare with me better stuff will be on here later.

Death before life simply means to me we weren't even alive before we were known of so we were basically dead before we had life. i don't know sometimes i would rather be dead then alive cause i am sick of going through all of this heart ache and pain it is bullshit. i am 22 and has went through almost everything that a 50 yr old would and that is sad and there are plenty of u that could agree with me on that one.

Life in general is all fake to me. what is life? something that just keeps making all of us go crazy. this world is coming to nothing anymore all you here about is people fighting we are all going against each other for some stupid ass bullshit reasons and i am tired of it. it could be the last day of any of our life's and it wouldn't matter to alot of people. all we do is work,fuck,argue,eat,sleep,go to the bathroom,and fight among one another so that is why i think that it is fake. why someone would put us on this earth to go through hell noone will ever know i guess but it would be nice to know the answer to that question.