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The sound the annoying ever present sound of women I here them I want them I need them at what point did I become NYMPHO I want nothing more than to bring pleasure to womens bodys to bring them to freedom to enjoy themselves to be free of this thing called attachment If only I could find a few free willing spirits to enjoy each others flesh perhaps then I can sleep if only for awhile

A ghost I shall remain we are all too afraid of ourselves

The day was wednesday cold, windy I had just finished cleaning my 12 ga shotgun,wishing to use it in its perfect form. I held the cold barrel in my mouth for about 20 min ,tasting its cold soul. I knew the slug was sure to rip my skull into several pieces but I couldnt do it I guess Im a coward with no hope no love and know one cares, If I have to live my life as a ghost why not set it free in the end I could not pull the trigger, I knew my sons would find me and besides what if it didnt do the job?

Why is it if I kill 1 im A murder

If I kill ten Im a serial killer

but if I kill millions Im a conquerer



I gues I dont get it

I fear I have lost her , my dear love L ady love cat. I m sure it was something said or unsaid but no matter I ve been alone most my life I can deal with it now.

I think I will stay on the rave but I may not speak , the one I desire does not feel the same

Perhaps its better this way, she has her life and I would not want to be the one to ruin it

So long my sweet love I will allways remember

Today I feel lost , for I know I wont be hearing from my Love, but no matter I know shes there and she visits my dreams, what a miserable evil wretch I am I have no right to meddle in everyones life but I can not control myself.

One day I will know true peace I know I am but a word, a touch , a heart beat away from her I wonder if she realy cares, no matter ,I do and if she will have I will be hers

I know this sounds like the ravings of a lunatic but its the desire and ache that drives me forward it is why I live just for the hope that one day we will embrace in crimson red and love and make time stop for when that day comes nothing will matter but our passion, the world will burn because our lust

My last thought before sleep was of her then I dreamed or was it real? I cant tell , maybe she does think of me at night and visit me.

My dreams of sweet bliss with her warm body next to mine, acheing , longing ,begging for my touch has become my nightmare as I realize I can never have her, I am evil for I live in two worlds, hiding from myself wishing I could be found and set free but the cursed emotions all ways get in the way.

One day, some day maybe a thousand years from now I will hold her quivering naked body next to mine and feel her passion as she feeds on me and lets me fill her every dark desire. but for now I must be tortured because I was born evil and no matter how much I may want to good I cant not anymore than the moon desires the sun but will never be

I hope you think of me today my sweet lover as I am consumed by your fire

I have only spent less than 12 hrs. on the rave and thats all it took for me to fall from grace for the one called ladylovecat, Iknow Im insane but I cant remember the last time I felt crazy for someone ive never met just talking with her makes each day more bearable. I think I might be pushing to hard but its hard not to when my soul screams with desire somehow the words flow a little to freely. I now know she is a vamp for Iam truely hypnotized