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yea sorry about the sudden out burst in just so mad becuase i have to eat off campus and im not even the bad kid. well im now a Marplot now whatever that is gotta go read about it. later



Amey

well im in the library listening to deadstar assembly and lookign up stuff about " the black death" avoding people i dont like. She thinks im afride of her and so now there taking me off campus so im not allowed to me on school grounds during lunch time or i go to ISS and my parents say its not punishment but it is! it is it is IT IS!!!!!! I DONT CARE WHAT YOU SAY I DONT NEED TO BE TAKEN OFF CAMPUS IM NOT A BAD KID I WANT TO HANG OUT WITH MY FRIENDS AND HAVE A NORMAL SCHOOL DAY I DONT NEED TO BE TAKEN OFF CAMPUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



DAMNIT I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU ALL! LEVE ME ALONE! YOUR ALL ASSHOLES AND YOU DONT FUCKIN UNDERSTAND ME! I DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG!

if my boobs aren't big enough to "satisfy" your needs.



I'm sorry,

if I'm not skinny enough for you to see my ribs.



I'm sorry,

if I'm not pretty enough to be "your girl".



I'm sorry,

if I'm not tan enough for you



I'm sorry,

if I'm not a playboy model so I can't act like a porn star for you.



I'm sorry,

If i don't have a dream body that turns you on.



I'm sorry.



I'm sorry,

if im not tall enough.



I'm sorry,

if my hair is not long enough.





But most of all...



I'm sorry that most guys can't accept a girl for who they really are.

Like i said yesterday i am so sorry for what ever i have done and nobody seems to be able to move past it and to leave me alone. I have a life to and if you think the only way you can get to me is to type letters and send them to the office and tell them i wrote them to your boyfriend then your real sad and you have nothing better to use against me. Its real funny how you think its eating away at my soul and bothering me but its not.. your just a lowly spect of dust you mean nothing and you will never amount to anything. People pity you and nobody cares about you you cry yourself to sleep at night because you know nobody in this world is caring about you.. god and jesus hate me for this but i hate you and despise you with ever fiber of my being......

you dont know what love is and thats all i gave to you.. and you abused it.. if you think im afride of you.. you have another thing comming... i wont and never have been afride of you i just have better things to do than fight some lowly girl who means nothing to me. I will not back down i will win this and then you'll be sorry.. i am tough and i wont be pushed aside.

Im so sorry for whatever i have done to make everyone hate me its not like i wanted this to happen.. nobody belives me everyone thinks im the bad guy... no body wants to hang out with me because im called a lieing cheating person but im not.. i havent done anything wrong... it makes me so angry.. everyone thinks shes great and that she would never do anything wrong... but she's not perfect.. shes evil... shes just like satan.. im sorry but she is... anyway i found a song i like... ................. .....................





first fav,

Mary did you know by: Clay Aiken



Mary did you know, that your baby boy

Would one day walk on water?

Mary did you know, that your baby boy

Would save our sons and daughters?

Did you know, that your baby boy

Has come to make you new?

This Child that you delivered,

Will soon deliver you!



Mary did you know, that your baby boy

Will give sight to the blind man?

Mary did you know, that your baby boy

Would calm a storm with His hand?



Did you know, that your baby boy

Has walked where angels trod

And when you kiss your little baby,

You've kissed the face of God?

Oh, Mary did you know?

Mary did you know?



The blind will see, the deaf will hear,

The dead will live again,

The lame will leap, the dumb will speak

Praises of the Lamb?



Mary did you know, that your baby boy

Is Lord of all creation?

Mary did you know, that your baby boy

Will one day rule the nations?



Did you know, that your baby boy

Was Heaven's perfect Lamb?

And this sleeping Child you're holding

Is the Great I AM



i love the song.. it makes me all clam inside...

i never ment for any of it to be like this........

i never ment for it to got this far.......................

im sooooooooo sorry.... im so sorry....................

Dear, Journal



Well its 12:37 and im siting here in the slc class waiting tell lunch because i cant stand to be around people right now and i dont even get out tell 1:55 and im flippin going crazy so i'll write in this stupid journal and waste more of my life.. well i realy need help.. iv started cutting my self again.. its like every chance i can get i have to use my razor.. even at school i have to go to the bathroom and cut my arms legs whatever.. and then i go back into class and theres blood dripping down my arm and then i panic cuz i dont have anything to stop the blood flow.. so i wrap tissues around my wrist and then put a hair tie around it to hold it... real smart huh? Well heather says she will stay and eat lunch with me today but her master aint gunna like that very well.. but she can get in my face and tell me that my friends cant sit with me and then we'll see what happens.. im so sick of school i have senioratic lol i have to go see my anger manament guy today and im realy going to start trying to help myself.. i dont want to be like this anymore... It scares me.. i dont want it to go any futher than it already has. i dont know what to do. i would ask for your opinion but your just a stupid journal what do you know.

~Amey~

God i hate school and right now i hate this class because i have no idea what we are doing. its stuff like "Warp Text lines in 4& 5 to make one line". i dont know what that means! its geting on my nerves! And i dont want to ask him for help cuz i ask him everyday how to do it and i still never seem to understand it. Yay he came by and asked me if i need help and now i understand how to do it lol wooo hooo!! ^.^ anyways g2g. bell rang. i wont be on anymore today i have projects to do.



~amey~