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got some blood sorted and a bottle of red to go with it! so a long time ago i said one day i might say some of the good parts of being a vampire. well the downside is needing the blood in the first place but when we get it ...



i can only speak from my own personal experience,i cant talk about others and how it makes them feel but for me... its euphoric. as i said before apart from having blood im a vegetarian so its not easy for me to do.but its like being on drugs,it makes me feel 'high' and happy. i feel content and relaxed yet full of energy.my pale skin actually shows some colour for a change. it feels wonderful.

so after my last journal entry i began to wonder if it sounded like i would harm an innocent. the answer is of course no. i mean think about it where would the fun be in that??nowhere. no i wouldnt do that id feel guilty taking someones innocence. but its so true the blood of the innocent smells sweeter,doesnt mean im gona act on it!!



its much more fun to play with your food ;-)

argh what am i thinking?? hes a lot younger than me but hes persistant we meet up.and gods help me i want to!! im holding back for lots of reasons,firstly he knows my kids and rumours have already been going round about us.secondly well i know hes no mr innocent and can have a bit of a mean streak but im,well,you know,wrong! all wrong!! for a start im not only attracted to him sexually!! what attracted me to him in the first place was everytime i went near him my blood lust flared up! now this doesnt happen very often and when it does i keep away,well away!



but this one wont let me.i guess it sounds like the plot to a book/movie right?oh i wish it was but this is my life and theres a war going on inside me. stay away or give in!! im not sure how long i can keep away :-\ help

So i disappeared for a while thanx to my phone breaking and no laptop,*sigh* but i did miss doing my journals on here,nice to be able to tell the truth. Not much has happened really,except I've realized that if i don't have blood when i need it i find myself attracted to certain people and catch myself day dreaming about them letting me have their blood,it got so bad i scared myself :-



So the solution is to not starve myself of what i need!!not so easy at the moment.its summer holidays so i get no time to myself grrrrrr!!!

So im starting to get those feelings again.and i know they're gonna get worse. Help :-(