What Have I Done?06:54 May 13 2008
Times Read: 640
What have I done? I didn’t mean to do it. . .but I did it anyway. . .I don’t know why I did it. . .It didn’t hurt, I didn’t feel a thing but I do remember it. . .I think I remember. . .do I remember? I remember Michael and I fighting. . .screaming at each other. . .I remember him slapping me. . .
“Kris. . .I’m sorry, I- I didn’t mean to.” He reaches for me, I step back my hand over my cheek. I look at him, hatred boiling in my veins, “I hate you.” I hiss, venomously. I know that he can see it in my eyes. I turn to go hide in my room, I hear him whisper, “I’m sorry. . .” Then nothing more. I sit on the bed listening, nothing, I hear nothing. . .
Twenty minutes of sitting, listening. . .still nothing. . .I can’t take this! I love him, this is the first time he’s ever hit me. . .I can’t hate him yet. . .I walk out into the living room, he is nowhere to be seen. . .he left. . .will he be back? I don’t hate him, I can’t hate him. . .please Michael, come back. . .please come back. . .
Two hours has passed. . .I’ve been sitting on the couch. . .staring into emptiness, he’s not coming back. . .he left for good. . .he’s not coming back. . .I sit, hot tears streaming down my cheeks, staining my blouse, my jeans. . .I try to hold back the shudders. . .closing my eyes, I cry.
What have I done? Now he’s gone. . .but there’s more. . .there has to be more. . . what else did I do? What else. . .I know I did something else. . .I need to remember. . .I look up suddenly, the door, I heard the door. I run out to the living room, it was Michael. “Michael! You’re back.” I run up to him, he literally walks through me, in a brief second I saw him. . .
Oh god! What have I done! “Kris. . .I’m sorry, I- I didn’t mean to.” I reach for her and she steps away from me covering her cheek. She looks at me with such hatred, she hisses, “I hate you.” She runs to the bedroom, “I’m sorry Kris. . .” I whisper, watching helplessly. I stand there for a few moments, contemplating on what I should do. Should I stay and wait for her to come out? Or should I leave and give her space. . .
He was coming back. . .he was going to go come back all along. . .but. . .what did I do. . .why is this happening? “WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME!!!” I run up to him, trying to grab him, to hug him. “Michael, can you hear me? Please answer me? Michael!” I scream, falling to my knees, he can’t hear me. . .why can’t he hear me. . . what did I do-
He’s not coming back. . .its been hours. . .he left. . .I stand in front of the bathroom mirror, wearing black, baggy jeans and a black sports bra. My hair is pinned back, my eyes are bloodshot from crying, my makeup running down my face. He’s gone. . .because of me. . .because I didn’t give him a chance. . .I close my eyes as cold steel pierces the flesh of my wrist, a warm, thick liquid drips down my hand and drops to the tiled floor below. Drip. . .drip. . .drip. . .I can feel it splattering the ground, droplets landing on my feet. I start to feel weary, I sway, then I fall.
I open my eyes slowly, looking around me in a haze. The room was spinning and my wrist was burning like someone had poured acid on it. I kept hearing a voice whispering to me menacingly, “Join us. . .he has left you, he’s not coming back. Finish it. . .” It hisses at me. I try to sit up, getting dizzy again, I fall back hitting my head on the floor. I close my eyes, drifting in and out of consciousness.
This time when I woke up I couldn’t feel the burning, and I didn’t hear the voice. I stand up and walk to the bedroom, I look at my wrist, the wound was caked over with blood. I close my eyes sighing. What have I done-
I gasp, I couldn’t have, no, I didn’t do it. . .”Michael!” I run to the bathroom, there I was laying on the floor, blood pooled around my body. Michael stood there in a daze, he fell to his knees and I ran to him, “Michael, I’m not dead, please hear me! I’m right here! I’m right behind you! Please!” I scream, trying to grab him, smack him, anything to touch him. He falls forward on his hands, “Why Kris. . .” He starts to sob, banging his fists against the ground, “I was coming back! Kris! I love you! DAMMIT KRIS!!!” He hits again hard, cracking his knuckle. He crawls over to my body, kissing my lips. I felt a spark in my lips, the ones I have now, not my body’s. I could feel his kiss.
I run up to him again, “See! I’m not dead! Please Michael! Call the hospital. . . please. . .” I sob in vain. Michael picks my body up and carries it to the bedroom, he lays me in the bed. I walk up behind him, trying once again to reach him, I put my hand on his shoulder, “Michael-“ He jumps, startled I jump back. He heard me. . .yes! He heard me! I touch him again, “Michael, call an ambulance, hurry!” I let go as he runs to the living room to call the ambulance.
I wake up in the hospital, an IV in my hand. Michael is asleep in a chair in the corner. “Michael. . .” I croak. He stirs, realizing who called his name, he runs over to the bed, he kisses me. “Kris, are you all right?” I nod, closing my eyes, “Why did you do it?” I shrug, or try too, I was sore all over. . .He kisses me again, “I love you Kris. . .”
I wake up shuddering, it was all a dream- I examine my wrist, “Michael. . .” I whisper, he rolls over, stroking my leg, “Yeah baby?” He mumbles tiredly. I smile, it was all a bad dream.
COMMENTS
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DarkWolfman
03:54 May 20 2008
Pretty kool