The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I don't know why I'm writing this...just a random urge one gets to share something they feel. In my life so far I have been through many hurts and many depressions. As such, being cast out from the people that are supposed to care for me was the earliest sign...following that hurt....cast aside by my peers did nothing. Sooner or later you start to figure out your never going to be good enough...so you move on and try to make things better on your own. Moving on however leaves you with a void...a giant void in your being. I have thought a few times now that I had found somone to fill that hole. None of those worked out, and after being betrayed and hurt...over and over you don't let anyone in. After so many times of helping people and them shoving it back in your face...you grow reluctent to do anything anymore. You begin to wonder if life is really worth it anymore, is getting through this test worth it...if I pass will I find what I so long for or will it simply not happen. Well...recently I have found another who may be able to fill this void, he's been through much of the same....I find myself opening up to him..and I don't want to...because I know it will only bring pain....he's been through life 10 times worse than mine...I have a longing for him...to be held...to comfort....to love. He is sucking me in....but as good as this sounds...chances are I'll never tell him..I'll never meet him....so close...so very close...a 2 hour drive...so very close yet so far away...to know that the one that fits into this giant puzzle of your life....doesn't know your thoughts..or feeling...I've talked with him so little...I don't know what to do...I've never been compelled like this before with another...I just don't know.