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I just can't seem to shake this feeling of loneliness. I can be arround a hundred people and I would still feel all alone. I just want that special someone to hold onto each night and tell them that I love them and to be abel to hear that back once and a while. I know I sound crazy and that I don't need a man in my life to make me happy, but it would be nice. I am the type of person who wants to give and give some more but I just don't have the someone to give to and this depresses me a little. I sit and wonder sometimes what I did in my past life to not have someone in this life. Or I wonder if my true soulmate is out there waiting for me as well. They say that everyone has a perfect match, a yin to you yang etc, well I wish mine would hurry up and find me cause I need him. I want him, I miss him. Ya ya I know pathetic right? Maybe just maybe though he will find what he is looking for and come to me. I mean you never know right?

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Nedra
01:52 May 27 2009

That is not pathetic at all. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be loved.

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Today I awoke to the sound of a screaming child and I awoke from a horribel dream. I thank my daughter for ripping me from my sleep, if not for her I don't know what would of happened. I have a tendency to have extremely vivid dreams leaving in a state of hyperventalation some times. I wake but can't breath and gasping for air. I am so thankful to have my child. This little one is the core of my existance and without her I do not know what I would have to look forward to each morning. So to my Lilly, I love you baby girl you make mommy so proud and don't grow up to fast.

Why is it that people are so stupid and inconciderate when it comes to relationships and other peoples feelings. We as a mamal creature should have more sensitivity than we actually do and yet lately I am finding that when somone bitches to me about their relationship, I just don't give a damn! I have enough crap in my own life to worry about, why should I take the time to deal with the persistant problems in someone elses relationship. You know damn well that you never listen to what I say and that you never take my advice so you know what do us both a favour and quit asking me. Generally I am a very careing person and would give someone the shirt off my back, but lately I have let everything build up inside and where did it get me? The hospital thats where. I have a child and myself to look out for so I don't have the time to go arround fixing everyone elses problems. I am now working on me and what I need and want in my life, quite frankly I have had it up to here with the bullshit and I just don't care anymore. I am not waiting arround for things to fix themselves I am out there doing it. Yet sometimes I think some people would like me to wait arround forever and for certain people I would wait. However, I have needs to and it is time for me to start meeting those needs.