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i feel horrible today.... my mom came home and we had a fight again... usually do... but i dont care anymore.... my insomnia is still kickin.... and i just want to be moppy.... arg.... O_o

Hehehe.... this may seem wierd, but I love it... I just did three more piercings tonight on myself... hehehe... I am happy.... I like to do my own, I am scared to let other do it... freaks me out with them coming at me with a needle... so I just learn how to do it my self and do it... and i love it.. I am obsessed almost... piercing is sooo addictive........

thats all for now..... just wanted to write it down....

fuck... i hate life right now... it sucks major... I am struggling and have no one here for me... I hurt... i am alone... my mom could give a shit less right now, she is in another state with one of her "boy toys", my dad never cared and is in jail again and will always go back when he gets out, my brother is an ass and going back to the bad ways he use to be in before he got sick and then got better... and my sister.. her foster family hurt her... the dad pushed her agressivly around, the mom yelled at her..... and me... I am just suffering... I got no one to be there for me, to talk to, to hold.. sure i got friends at school, but I cant tell them whats going on and what i am doing to myself to escape it... they'll call me crazy as usual... i wont kill my self so dont worry.. been there and didnt like it... * sigh * I wish life wasnt so crappy all the time... I get some good moments but I usually get the crappy ones first..........

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 153 plepoe on mepysca can so far. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs rpsoet it. ONLY REPOST IF YOU CAN READ THIS...Ithought yall would like this!

I just want everyone who reads this to know that the poems in my poetry are some of my old poems.. not all of them are old, but some... and i wanted to share them with you... every word is how i felt and how i feel sometimes now... but dont worry... i like life now, so no suicide for me... though i do like the cutting.. as its said in my pro... ^v^

Please take the time to read this and ponder it’s meaning:



“Child Abuse”



My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see.



I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?



I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.



I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long.



When I awake

I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.



When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight.



Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car.

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.



I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.



I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.



He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault.

That he suffers at work.



He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.



He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.



I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.



"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.



The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!



And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.



My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me.

~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~



!!!!There are thousands of kids out there just like Sarah. And you can help. Copy and send this poetry and maybe most of people will become more wise !!!!!!



This poem was copied from Olnix profile.

Aaaahhhh.... I cant stop listening to The Red jumpsuit apparatus' song Face Down... i think i am obssessed.... " so you feel like a man when you push her around" " face down in the dirt, she said this doesn't hurt, she said, I finally had enough " " do you better now as she falls to the ground " " well i tell my friend one day this world going to end as we'll rise" " i see whats going down " " do you feel like a man when you push her around, do you fell better now as she falls to the ground" OMG!!!!!! gotta love it, over and over and over and over............ " cover up with makeup in the mirror, tell yourself its never gonna happen again "....... god this is soooo true..... I hate abuse..... had it all my life..... makes me pissed off at those who think its alright to hit people to make them feel better or worse, men who like to hit on women..... grrrr.... " do you feel like a man, when you push her around, do you feel better now, as she falls to the ground" " cover up with makeup in the mirror, tell yourself its never going to happen again " " you cry ".......